Reflection
Look at me,
You may think you see
Who I really am,
But you'll never know me.
Everyday,
it's as if I play
A part.
Now I see,
If I wear a mask,
I can fool the world,
but I cannot fool my heart.
Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight,
Back at me.
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now,
In a world
Where I have to hide in my heart,
and what I believe in.
But somehow,
I will show the world what's inside my heart,
And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see,
staring straight
back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
someone else
for all time.
When will my reflection show,
who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free
to fly
That burns with a need to know
the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel?
Must there be
a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
someone else
for all time.
When will my reflection show
who I am inside?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
went 4 scholarship dae on sat. well. i m abit e swayed to consider other options beside being a doctor. hahaz. scholarships r reallie desirable manz. hahaz. dun noe lahz. abit e confused now. rite at tt moment. at e exhibition. i reallie feel like grabbin all e opportunities n hopes offered 2 mi. but now. after sittin down n tinkin abt it. i tink my life will be one wout a scholarship. coz i cannt picture myself sittin in a govt agency. sloggin my life 4 e agency. nono. i m nt anti govt nor civil service. but i dun wanna 2 tied myself down 2 an agency. maybe becoz i m used 2 being free lahz. i dun like 2 be tied down. true. a bond is like guaranteed employment but i guessed i hav no passion n interest in e civil sector. i proved myself 2 be unsuitable 4 e civil service via e gradation of e jc system. come on lahz. e pple they r lookin 4 do not include mi. i dun hav e leadership qualities they r lookin for. i dun hav e sterlin grades they r lookin for. i dun hav e impressive track record they r lookin for. so i can kiss scholarships gd bye. hahaz. but i guess. i was nv cut out 2 be a scholar lahz. i dun mug. i dun even attempt 2 mug seriously. oh gosh. guess i m reallie goin 2 be a road sweeper like wat my papa used 2 threaten mi lahz. hahaz.
i believed tt i shld undergo hardships n sufferings 2 luv myself more. yupz. gettin a scholarship is reallie like an easy wae out lehz. dun need 2 worry abt e money etc. hmmz. n guaranteed employment summore. hahaz. so yahz. i can happily declared tt no matter how my grades turned out. i m nt applyin for a single govt related scholarship. tis does nt include universities' based scholarships arhz. hahaz.
yahz. so muz talk abt my life direction rite. erhz. currently i keep my choices to 2 lahz. one is e most widely known wan. be a doc. hahaz. n scared every single patient tt i come across! so fun. hahaz. e other wan. which i secretly harboured. is to become a hotel manager. yupz! n greet tourists everydae. n wished them gd dae! hahaz. n looked so prim n proper! n maybe meet shuai ges! which i definitely wun c in a hospital. yupz. hahaz. but e prob is. i nv work in a hotel b4. so erhz. i m hopin 2 get a job at a hotel 2 gain more experience lahz. hahaz.
so tt basically sums it up lahz. n oh my goodness! i cant do a qn frm e A Maths textbk!!! arhz! i dun noe wat happened. but i cant do tt qn!!! gosh! i need 2 revise e a maths stuff again more thoroughly. feel so sorrie 2wards my tutee. oh well. but i m quite glad tt i helped her understand trigo betta. yahz. while i m strugglin w A levels trigo. eekz!
went 2 cut my hair on sundae. actuallie nt reallie cut lahz. thin will be a more correct description. hahaz. my hairdresser spent like ages thinin my hair lahz. she thinned it 3 times in total. coz my hair is reallie thick n heavy. yupz. so at e end of it. i hav tis mountainous range of hair ard my chair. hahaz. but i still hav plenty of hair on my head. hahaz.
as 4 yesterdae. i ponned e celebrations lahz. feel so naughty. first time i ponned sch events rite frm e start lehz. was wearin home clothes under yii ean's request. n find myself rather out of place. went 2 eat breakfast w yee keow. steph n eunice at macs at j8. then tried 2 mug at woodlands library b4 admittin defeat 2 go home n sleep. muz try 2 finish as much bio n chem as poss. yupz. was slackin awae also. hahaz. i m a pig lahz. sleep reallie alot. tink sumtin wrong w my biological clock.
oh yahz. now is babylicious time! hahaz. i tink i did mention tt i m goin 2 flood my blog w my niece's photos. here they r! hahaz.
22 July 2005



6 August 2005







now now. isnt she cute? hahaz. looks like mi rite? hahaz. i tink i shld stop saein she looks like mi. hahaz. later my sis angree than die. hahaz. oh yahz. my sis is complainin tt my niece 'lost' her double eyelids. hahaz. oh well. nvm. i still tink tt she is vry cute. n she starts 2 smile at mi le! hahaz. n my sis is 'forcin' mi 2 buy tis cute pair of shoes for en xin. she keep on remindin mi tt i haven bought a single ting 4 enxin yet. well. i will wan ok. juz tt now no money! sighz. nvm. i will get a gd christmas presenz for her. hahaz. provided i work lahz. no work. no money. sighz.
n b4 i 4get...Happie Birthdae Singapore! i still luv u even though i hate e education system in place by u...
dreaming awae at 3:44 PM