Tuesday, May 31, 2005
ok. i hav been miain 4 quite sum time. erhz. n i feel like i m goin 2 nod off soon. i feel so tired. sighz. i m like how unfit. w practically no stamina left at all. hahaz. ok. maybe workin at dvc may be a gd wae 2 toughen mi up. runnin after e kids n up n down e stairs dozen of times per dae is more than enough 2 build up e non existent muscles in my legs. hahaz. maybe i will hav more toned legs? juz like ymw. hahaz. i tink tt will nv happen. ok i m gettin out of pt.
went out w vicky on sundae. 2 go shoppin at raffles city shoppin centre 4 anmin's presenz. bought a crystal fish necklace 4 her. hahaz. w e pooled money frm 6 pple. namely mi. vicky. shen ye. iris biao jie. uncle hui yan n xinyi. hav a great time chattin w vicky. decided i shld continue 2 pester her frm now on. hahaz.
hav a reallie great time at e bbq at anmin's house. dunkin du yang into e pool is reallie hilarious. but i sorta feel guilty. coz it's e first time du yang dressed so nicely. hahaz. but it's reallie vry funnie. oh my. i cldnt stop laughin at tt pt of time. reallie like tis type of feelin i experienced while juz hangin out w my batchmates. maybe i wasnt close 2 them rite frm e start. but i do hope tt i wun lose them after we graduate.
then yesterdae is e first dae of DVC. i was so tired frm e bbq n e fact tt i reached home at 11 plus (thanx 2 e long waitin hrs of 961 n 911). tis is e reason y i nv went hc. coz i dun wanna 2 suffer e agony of waitin 4 961 while watchin other buses zoomed past u. summore e bus stop is so eerie n quiet. sighz. n i made e dae of quite a few mosquitoes 2. sighz.
i m teachin e primary 1 kids. n tis time i hav 25 kids. if i m nt wrong. e largest no of kids i eva hav. n they r all pri 1. do u noe how hectic tt is? n e prob is sum of them r reallie vry AA (attract attention) tt it almost gets onto my nerves. oh my. but overall. workin w children is reallie a great experience. n i experienced first hand how full of crap my teacher n fellow leader r. n of course. e non stop matchmakin skills of samantha. hahaz. but i reallie feel comfortable workin w them. n i m officially known as 'Auntie Estella' thanx 2 e instigation by Mas (my teacher). wateva. hahaz. dun u dare call mi tt! i will murder u! hahaz.
as 4 2dae. we went 2 west coast park. e last time i went there was durin my sec sch daes. so approx 2-3 yrs nv been there le. e weather is so scorchin hot tt i feel reallie dehydrated. oh my goodness. i thot i was goin 2 faint. esp after runnin to n fro at e 'flyin fox' station. pushin e kids frm 1 end 2 e other end. runnin in e sand is reallie tirin. n my shoes r completely filled w sand. tt i decided i shld go n buy a pair of sandles soon. i cant take it animore. hahaz. oh my. but i tink i lost sum weight due 2 water loss. hahaz. maybe i will be able 2 slim down?
well. i will be workin next wk 2. so i guess i wun reallie be physically there durin e band chalet. but i will be stayin over lahz. so each dae i will be rushin back 2 bukit timah 2 work. n i realise tt i hav a great affinity w rv pple. my first partner xiao qing is frm rv. my 2nd partner kah ming is also frm rv n now my current partner is frm rv too. i onli realised tt he's frm band 2dae. so we played at e same concert 4 a tempo wout realisin it. tis is reallie funnie. hahaz. so tis makes e 3 of us who r teachin S5. all members of e band. hahaz. woodwinds summore. life is reallie interestin. hahaz. ok shall nt bore everywan w more borin details of my life. i need 2 mug!!!
n congrats 2 mi. 4 bloggin my wae thru my first anniversary. hahaz. readin sum of my older entries. it's no wonder sum pple tink tt my blog is vry borin. i tink so 2. hahaz. ok. shall go n sleep soon le.
ok. i hav been miain 4 quite sum time. erhz. n i feel like i m goin 2 nod off soon. i feel so tired. sighz. i m like how unfit. w practically no stamina left at all. hahaz. ok. maybe workin at dvc may be a gd wae 2 toughen mi up. runnin after e kids n up n down e stairs dozen of times per dae is more than enough 2 build up e non existent muscles in my legs. hahaz. maybe i will hav more toned legs? juz like ymw. hahaz. i tink tt will nv happen. ok i m gettin out of pt.
went out w vicky on sundae. 2 go shoppin at raffles city shoppin centre 4 anmin's presenz. bought a crystal fish necklace 4 her. hahaz. w e pooled money frm 6 pple. namely mi. vicky. shen ye. iris biao jie. uncle hui yan n xinyi. hav a great time chattin w vicky. decided i shld continue 2 pester her frm now on. hahaz.
hav a reallie great time at e bbq at anmin's house. dunkin du yang into e pool is reallie hilarious. but i sorta feel guilty. coz it's e first time du yang dressed so nicely. hahaz. but it's reallie vry funnie. oh my. i cldnt stop laughin at tt pt of time. reallie like tis type of feelin i experienced while juz hangin out w my batchmates. maybe i wasnt close 2 them rite frm e start. but i do hope tt i wun lose them after we graduate.
then yesterdae is e first dae of DVC. i was so tired frm e bbq n e fact tt i reached home at 11 plus (thanx 2 e long waitin hrs of 961 n 911). tis is e reason y i nv went hc. coz i dun wanna 2 suffer e agony of waitin 4 961 while watchin other buses zoomed past u. summore e bus stop is so eerie n quiet. sighz. n i made e dae of quite a few mosquitoes 2. sighz.
i m teachin e primary 1 kids. n tis time i hav 25 kids. if i m nt wrong. e largest no of kids i eva hav. n they r all pri 1. do u noe how hectic tt is? n e prob is sum of them r reallie vry AA (attract attention) tt it almost gets onto my nerves. oh my. but overall. workin w children is reallie a great experience. n i experienced first hand how full of crap my teacher n fellow leader r. n of course. e non stop matchmakin skills of samantha. hahaz. but i reallie feel comfortable workin w them. n i m officially known as 'Auntie Estella' thanx 2 e instigation by Mas (my teacher). wateva. hahaz. dun u dare call mi tt! i will murder u! hahaz.
as 4 2dae. we went 2 west coast park. e last time i went there was durin my sec sch daes. so approx 2-3 yrs nv been there le. e weather is so scorchin hot tt i feel reallie dehydrated. oh my goodness. i thot i was goin 2 faint. esp after runnin to n fro at e 'flyin fox' station. pushin e kids frm 1 end 2 e other end. runnin in e sand is reallie tirin. n my shoes r completely filled w sand. tt i decided i shld go n buy a pair of sandles soon. i cant take it animore. hahaz. oh my. but i tink i lost sum weight due 2 water loss. hahaz. maybe i will be able 2 slim down?
well. i will be workin next wk 2. so i guess i wun reallie be physically there durin e band chalet. but i will be stayin over lahz. so each dae i will be rushin back 2 bukit timah 2 work. n i realise tt i hav a great affinity w rv pple. my first partner xiao qing is frm rv. my 2nd partner kah ming is also frm rv n now my current partner is frm rv too. i onli realised tt he's frm band 2dae. so we played at e same concert 4 a tempo wout realisin it. tis is reallie funnie. hahaz. so tis makes e 3 of us who r teachin S5. all members of e band. hahaz. woodwinds summore. life is reallie interestin. hahaz. ok shall nt bore everywan w more borin details of my life. i need 2 mug!!!
n congrats 2 mi. 4 bloggin my wae thru my first anniversary. hahaz. readin sum of my older entries. it's no wonder sum pple tink tt my blog is vry borin. i tink so 2. hahaz. ok. shall go n sleep soon le.
dreaming awae at 9:55 PM
Saturday, May 28, 2005
hav a rather enjoyable dae. hahaz. went 2 raffles girls pri sch tis mornin 2 prepare 4 dvc (discovery vacation camp) on mondae. so i will be workin frm mondae 2 fridae next wk. hahaz. met e teacher i will be workin w n my partner. my teacher looks so young. i m jealous! hahaz. n frm e chat i hav w her. i realised tt she is actuallie a bassoonist in sec sch n jc. hahaz. she almost choked when i sae tt i played bassoon. apparently i m e first bassoonist she met. n we both fall in luv w bassoon becoz it's so pretti! (juz like us). hahaz. dun puke ok. n my partner is an x-rj student who is studyin chem engin in nus now. which is e course tt my bro graduated frm lahz. i feel abit...dotz. hahaz. ok nvm. out of pt.
met samantha who was freshly out of e plane at 7 plus tis mornin. hahaz. missed her. n her gossipy manners. hahaz. tink i m in 4 trouble next wk. will be kana suaned until dun noe where. missed alot of e pple i worked w last yr. coz tis yr. there was alot of unfamiliar faces. oh well. i guess i will survive. hahaz. hopefully e kids wun kill mi. i m handlin pri 1 kids again. sighz.
met up w yii ean 4 lunch at swensens. hahaz. n shared an a Sticky Chewy Chocolate between e 2 of us. hahaz. i was so happie lahz. even yii ean commented tt she can c e look of contentment in my eyes. hahaz. i guess i reallie feel vry at ease ard yii ean. arhz. tis is wat like minded pple can do 2 u. we had some rather embarassin moments. oh well. but shld nt elaborate. after tt i went 2 yee keow house w e intention 2 watch Love Actually. unfortunately. i ended up sleepin in her house. tis is so funnie. hahaz. after tt went 2 causeway pt 2gether n ended up shoppin 4 a while. so my dae is rather enjoyable lahz. is rather happie. hahaz. 2molo will be batch bbq n outin w vicky! hahaz.
juz wanna sae tis. dun feel apologetic dear. hahaz. well u r nt being insensitive. u r being urself. which is wat i needed. reallie. being true 2 mi is e best ting u can eva do 4 mi. we all hav different beliefs n tinkin n feelings. i cant sae 4 others. but i m pretti clear of wat i m lahz. so dun worry dear. n thanx 4 ur compliments n wishes. i m reallie touched. no wan can interfere w wat u believe in n wat u dun believe in. beliefs r closely linked w experiences. so wat u believe in now. r largely due 2 ur experiences. so dun feel guilty abt ur beliefs juz becoz u tink u hav hurt sumwan. but muz always bear in mind tt acceptance is vry impt. n i can c tt u alrdy hav tt. so dun worry. u didnt do ani damage at all to my feelings. hahaz. i was reallie juz doin a survey. n i hav a rather close fren who tink tt i m 'goin crazy' n has 'split personality'. so it's ok dear. take care n be urself.
hav a rather enjoyable dae. hahaz. went 2 raffles girls pri sch tis mornin 2 prepare 4 dvc (discovery vacation camp) on mondae. so i will be workin frm mondae 2 fridae next wk. hahaz. met e teacher i will be workin w n my partner. my teacher looks so young. i m jealous! hahaz. n frm e chat i hav w her. i realised tt she is actuallie a bassoonist in sec sch n jc. hahaz. she almost choked when i sae tt i played bassoon. apparently i m e first bassoonist she met. n we both fall in luv w bassoon becoz it's so pretti! (juz like us). hahaz. dun puke ok. n my partner is an x-rj student who is studyin chem engin in nus now. which is e course tt my bro graduated frm lahz. i feel abit...dotz. hahaz. ok nvm. out of pt.
met samantha who was freshly out of e plane at 7 plus tis mornin. hahaz. missed her. n her gossipy manners. hahaz. tink i m in 4 trouble next wk. will be kana suaned until dun noe where. missed alot of e pple i worked w last yr. coz tis yr. there was alot of unfamiliar faces. oh well. i guess i will survive. hahaz. hopefully e kids wun kill mi. i m handlin pri 1 kids again. sighz.
met up w yii ean 4 lunch at swensens. hahaz. n shared an a Sticky Chewy Chocolate between e 2 of us. hahaz. i was so happie lahz. even yii ean commented tt she can c e look of contentment in my eyes. hahaz. i guess i reallie feel vry at ease ard yii ean. arhz. tis is wat like minded pple can do 2 u. we had some rather embarassin moments. oh well. but shld nt elaborate. after tt i went 2 yee keow house w e intention 2 watch Love Actually. unfortunately. i ended up sleepin in her house. tis is so funnie. hahaz. after tt went 2 causeway pt 2gether n ended up shoppin 4 a while. so my dae is rather enjoyable lahz. is rather happie. hahaz. 2molo will be batch bbq n outin w vicky! hahaz.
juz wanna sae tis. dun feel apologetic dear. hahaz. well u r nt being insensitive. u r being urself. which is wat i needed. reallie. being true 2 mi is e best ting u can eva do 4 mi. we all hav different beliefs n tinkin n feelings. i cant sae 4 others. but i m pretti clear of wat i m lahz. so dun worry dear. n thanx 4 ur compliments n wishes. i m reallie touched. no wan can interfere w wat u believe in n wat u dun believe in. beliefs r closely linked w experiences. so wat u believe in now. r largely due 2 ur experiences. so dun feel guilty abt ur beliefs juz becoz u tink u hav hurt sumwan. but muz always bear in mind tt acceptance is vry impt. n i can c tt u alrdy hav tt. so dun worry. u didnt do ani damage at all to my feelings. hahaz. i was reallie juz doin a survey. n i hav a rather close fren who tink tt i m 'goin crazy' n has 'split personality'. so it's ok dear. take care n be urself.
dreaming awae at 11:21 PM
Friday, May 27, 2005
well. i didnt do ani work yesterdae nite. so obviously 2dae's tutorials i was abit e blur blur like tt. hahaz. aniwae 2dae my class was involved in tis 'live radio' programme ting. yahz. 93.8. n it was rather hilarious tt my whole class onli marlom spoke. while e other arts class. alot of pple were expressin their views. maybe it's becoz they r more expressive lahz. i dun noe. hahaz. but maybe next time they shldnt ask a typical science class like my class. hahaz. we were reallie stonin there. n i cldnt reallie understand sum of e stuff said. tis shows how limited my vocab is. n i tink tt e discussion is rather single directional. e scope wasnt explored fully. yahz. but in view of my tendency 2 slip into singlish. i prefer to keep my mouth shut. hahaz. 4 e sake of rjc's reputation.
aniwae hav a short chat w yii ean 2dae. after lesson. n was pleasantly surprised 2 find us sharin rather similar views on stuff. maybe tis reallie reflects e fact tt we r both rationals lahz. one of 4 types of pple used in a personality test. i still remember ard 2 to 3 yrs ago. when we did tis test back in ny. yii ean cldnt believe tt i m like tt. maybe now it shows e more accurate version of mi ba. chat w yee keow too. hahaz. quite stimulatin u noe. n i do prefer 1 to 1 chattin.
e next half of e entry is rather long. so if u dun hav e time. dun read.
recently i realised sumtin. tt i hav been livin a lie all my life. at least 4 e past 17 yrs. it's rather scary actuallie. come 2 tink abt it. 2 realise tt u dun noe e person u were. hahaz. well. actuallie i can still find e present mi in e past mi. but was hidden by alot of other stuff n factors. tt 'deceived' mi into tinkin other wise.
lookin back. i find myself rather funnie. hahaz. as e youngest child within e family. i was spoilt rotten. even though i wasnt rich. ok lahz. i wasnt rotten. but i was definitely a spoilt kid. i sae tis becoz i was showered w attention where eva i go. esp when i visit my relatives in malaysia. but u c e prob is. i dun hav aniwan who is close 2 my age. my bro n sis are 9 n 8 yrs older than mi respectively. even my god mum's sons r 11, 9 n 4 yrs older than mi. in other words. i dun hav aniwan i can reallie link w. so actuallie i was an introvert. tis basically explains y i like soft toys n cute cuddly stuff so much. coz they provide e comfort tt i cant find. adults dun listen 2 wat children has 2 sae. at least 4 my case. coz everywan is at a diff phrase of their lives. they dun understand wat i was goin thru reallie. n i started 2 keep up tis front tt i m survivin reallie well. n in order to make them listen. i started 2 tok alot. but actuallie e words hav near 2 zero meanin in them. 2 prevent myself frm being neglected. i started 2 try 2 make frenz. even though i dun like 2. hahaz. i bet tis sound weird. yes. u didnt read wrongly. i dun like 2 make frenz. but due 2 e desire 2 hav sumwan near mi who understands mi or try 2 understand mi. i started to 'become extorvert' n make frenz. maybe it's tis goal tt keeps mi goin. i started 2 believe in e image i create. i 'forced' myself 2 believe tt i m sumwan who likes 2 make fren. be in e centre of attention n loud. but actuallie i m waitin 4 sumwan 2 search beneath n find mi. which obviously nt alot of pple did lahz. i thot tt by havin alot of frenz i wun be neglected. well. i m wrong. quite evidently. hahaz. n tt's when i realise tt havin dear frenz r alot more impt than havin alot of 'so-so' frenz.
tryin 2 be nice 2 everywan n befrenz everywan is reallie a vry tirin ting 2 do. i did tt so i noe how it feels. i guess i m reallie thanxful tt i broke my finger. coz it shatters tis facade tt i created 4 myself. makes mi realise who i m reallie. n wat i tink reallie. e past mi hate 2 be alone. coz i dun wanna tink. tinkin scares mi. i tink tis sound a bit weird. but tis is reallie how i feel. esp when i wasnt ready 2 deal w them. but now i sorta accepts it. n i m a serious (or supposedly) person by nature. n i do hate crowds. noise. n confusion. hahaz. i prefer 2 analyse stuff until it's rather clear 2 mi. so if i stop tokin as much as i used 2. pls dun be mistaken. it is nt becoz i hate u/dislike u/misunderstood u. juz tt i dun c e need 2 tok so much crap as i used 2. n i m nt goin 2 put in all e efforts 2 like sumwan. coz in my opinion. if i can click w u. then i can click w u. if nt. no matter how hard i try. i m juz goin 2 make myself miserable. but i wun dislike u. i will juz accept u. juz tt we will most prob nt share e closeness tt real frenz hav.
being alone is reallie peaceful. hahaz. i guess i nv thot i will sae tis. but loneliness doesnt seem 2 be so scary after all. at least i still hav myself. n of course. all my cuties. hahaz.
well. i didnt do ani work yesterdae nite. so obviously 2dae's tutorials i was abit e blur blur like tt. hahaz. aniwae 2dae my class was involved in tis 'live radio' programme ting. yahz. 93.8. n it was rather hilarious tt my whole class onli marlom spoke. while e other arts class. alot of pple were expressin their views. maybe it's becoz they r more expressive lahz. i dun noe. hahaz. but maybe next time they shldnt ask a typical science class like my class. hahaz. we were reallie stonin there. n i cldnt reallie understand sum of e stuff said. tis shows how limited my vocab is. n i tink tt e discussion is rather single directional. e scope wasnt explored fully. yahz. but in view of my tendency 2 slip into singlish. i prefer to keep my mouth shut. hahaz. 4 e sake of rjc's reputation.
aniwae hav a short chat w yii ean 2dae. after lesson. n was pleasantly surprised 2 find us sharin rather similar views on stuff. maybe tis reallie reflects e fact tt we r both rationals lahz. one of 4 types of pple used in a personality test. i still remember ard 2 to 3 yrs ago. when we did tis test back in ny. yii ean cldnt believe tt i m like tt. maybe now it shows e more accurate version of mi ba. chat w yee keow too. hahaz. quite stimulatin u noe. n i do prefer 1 to 1 chattin.
e next half of e entry is rather long. so if u dun hav e time. dun read.
recently i realised sumtin. tt i hav been livin a lie all my life. at least 4 e past 17 yrs. it's rather scary actuallie. come 2 tink abt it. 2 realise tt u dun noe e person u were. hahaz. well. actuallie i can still find e present mi in e past mi. but was hidden by alot of other stuff n factors. tt 'deceived' mi into tinkin other wise.
lookin back. i find myself rather funnie. hahaz. as e youngest child within e family. i was spoilt rotten. even though i wasnt rich. ok lahz. i wasnt rotten. but i was definitely a spoilt kid. i sae tis becoz i was showered w attention where eva i go. esp when i visit my relatives in malaysia. but u c e prob is. i dun hav aniwan who is close 2 my age. my bro n sis are 9 n 8 yrs older than mi respectively. even my god mum's sons r 11, 9 n 4 yrs older than mi. in other words. i dun hav aniwan i can reallie link w. so actuallie i was an introvert. tis basically explains y i like soft toys n cute cuddly stuff so much. coz they provide e comfort tt i cant find. adults dun listen 2 wat children has 2 sae. at least 4 my case. coz everywan is at a diff phrase of their lives. they dun understand wat i was goin thru reallie. n i started 2 keep up tis front tt i m survivin reallie well. n in order to make them listen. i started 2 tok alot. but actuallie e words hav near 2 zero meanin in them. 2 prevent myself frm being neglected. i started 2 try 2 make frenz. even though i dun like 2. hahaz. i bet tis sound weird. yes. u didnt read wrongly. i dun like 2 make frenz. but due 2 e desire 2 hav sumwan near mi who understands mi or try 2 understand mi. i started to 'become extorvert' n make frenz. maybe it's tis goal tt keeps mi goin. i started 2 believe in e image i create. i 'forced' myself 2 believe tt i m sumwan who likes 2 make fren. be in e centre of attention n loud. but actuallie i m waitin 4 sumwan 2 search beneath n find mi. which obviously nt alot of pple did lahz. i thot tt by havin alot of frenz i wun be neglected. well. i m wrong. quite evidently. hahaz. n tt's when i realise tt havin dear frenz r alot more impt than havin alot of 'so-so' frenz.
tryin 2 be nice 2 everywan n befrenz everywan is reallie a vry tirin ting 2 do. i did tt so i noe how it feels. i guess i m reallie thanxful tt i broke my finger. coz it shatters tis facade tt i created 4 myself. makes mi realise who i m reallie. n wat i tink reallie. e past mi hate 2 be alone. coz i dun wanna tink. tinkin scares mi. i tink tis sound a bit weird. but tis is reallie how i feel. esp when i wasnt ready 2 deal w them. but now i sorta accepts it. n i m a serious (or supposedly) person by nature. n i do hate crowds. noise. n confusion. hahaz. i prefer 2 analyse stuff until it's rather clear 2 mi. so if i stop tokin as much as i used 2. pls dun be mistaken. it is nt becoz i hate u/dislike u/misunderstood u. juz tt i dun c e need 2 tok so much crap as i used 2. n i m nt goin 2 put in all e efforts 2 like sumwan. coz in my opinion. if i can click w u. then i can click w u. if nt. no matter how hard i try. i m juz goin 2 make myself miserable. but i wun dislike u. i will juz accept u. juz tt we will most prob nt share e closeness tt real frenz hav.
being alone is reallie peaceful. hahaz. i guess i nv thot i will sae tis. but loneliness doesnt seem 2 be so scary after all. at least i still hav myself. n of course. all my cuties. hahaz.
dreaming awae at 6:39 PM
Thursday, May 26, 2005
aniwae i m on a quiz spree. hahaz. find tis fairly interestin so decided 2 post it here. so supposedly pple born on e 13th is like tt. hahaz. as 4 how accurate tis is. decide 4 urself. hahaz.
Your Birthdate: May 13
Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit.
You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize.
Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual.
Your feeling are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times.
You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details.
Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some.
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Your Life Path Number Is 7
You are a peaceful and affectionate soul... and by nature rather reserved and analytical.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown.
You will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find.
Intellectual, scientific and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at you own independent conclusion.
This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age.
You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams.
You dislike crowds, noise and confusion.
You are very thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to be a meet a high standard of performance, too.
You evaluate situations very quickly and with amazing accuracy.
You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone.
Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you are one who tends to follow the directions they seem to guide.
It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people.
You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life.
You really aren't a very social person, and your reserve is often taken to be aloofness.
You actually like being alone, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life.
In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic.
In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive.
A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences.
A negative 7 is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration.
The negative 7 is very selfish and spoiled.
If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of.
At your worst, you feel that the world really does owe you something - or in some way you aren't being fairly treated.
Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits.
This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows.
Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.
What Is Your Life Path Number?
aniwae i m on a quiz spree. hahaz. find tis fairly interestin so decided 2 post it here. so supposedly pple born on e 13th is like tt. hahaz. as 4 how accurate tis is. decide 4 urself. hahaz.
Your Birthdate: May 13
Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit.
You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize.
Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual.
Your feeling are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times.
You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details.
Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some.
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Your Life Path Number Is 7
You are a peaceful and affectionate soul... and by nature rather reserved and analytical.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown.
You will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find.
Intellectual, scientific and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at you own independent conclusion.
This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age.
You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams.
You dislike crowds, noise and confusion.
You are very thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to be a meet a high standard of performance, too.
You evaluate situations very quickly and with amazing accuracy.
You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone.
Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you are one who tends to follow the directions they seem to guide.
It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people.
You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life.
You really aren't a very social person, and your reserve is often taken to be aloofness.
You actually like being alone, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life.
In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic.
In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive.
A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences.
A negative 7 is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration.
The negative 7 is very selfish and spoiled.
If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of.
At your worst, you feel that the world really does owe you something - or in some way you aren't being fairly treated.
Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits.
This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows.
Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.
What Is Your Life Path Number?
dreaming awae at 8:00 PM
Happie Belated Birthdae Yee Keow n Mark! hahaz. arhz. n yee keow ur presenz. u wait abit longer can? until i get mine frm u first! hahaz. no lahz. i wheregot so mean. i will give u once i find it...
aniwae yesterdae gp is crap. i mean it's crap 4 mi lahz. coz it is so HARD!!! do u noe tt e compre is e hardest compre i had eva done in my life? i seriously hav no idea wat both passages r reallie tokin abt coz e vocab is seriously above my standard. i m onli understandin half of e passages n was purely guessin wat e other half r tokin abt. summore all e qns r inference qns. wow liao! i m e lousiest at these qns lorz. basically i tink tis gp paper is out 2 kill mi. sighz.
as 4 essay. erhz. at least half of e qns r related 2 philosophy. even e topic i chose is on philosophy also. which basically marked my death sentence lahz. sighz. i didnt plan much of e content as seen frm e presence of onli 3 short phrases on e qn paper. coz i was afraid tt i cldnt finish e essay in time. so in e end. i was tinkin while writin. n i tink i wrote out of pt. oopz. sighz. die again.
aniwae. feel quite accomplished 2dae. did quite alot of chem work. yupz! i m so proud of myself!!! hahaz. ok out of pt. but e feelin of completin my tutorials is so shuang! hahaz.
n muz thanx zhao yi 4 all e songs tt he send mi! arhz. i luv them. n i juz changed sum of my blog template. so if u can c e chinese lyrics when u open tis website tell mi ok? coz my preview shows e lyrics perfectly. but i cant c it on my com now! n i m vry irritated w technology! arghz! n even e song is nt playin! i m ready 2 throw sumtin now!!! aniwae if by sum luck u managed 2 hear e song n c e lyrics. it's e winter sonata's theme song. chinese version sang by jeff chang. "frm e start till now"
dreaming awae at 6:57 PM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
in conclusion. 2dae is a bad dae. a traumatisin dae. oh well.
first i didnt do my physics tutorial. n mrs tan is observin e lesson 2dae. so it's rather obvious tt i didnt do my tutorial b4 e lesson. hope it didnt affect how she assess mr lee. sighz.
next i screw up my spa. yahz. my last spa of e yr. my last spa 4 chem. coz i subsitute e wrong pressure into e eqn. i substitue atmospheric pressure instead of e pressure of e gas. so both my R values r wrong. great manz. tis is juz so gd rite. sighz. y muz i screw up all my spas? wateva. i tink i need a perfect score 4 my theory paper in order to get an A for all my subjects esp physics. there is no 1 single physics spa which i didnt make a fool of myself. excellent.
n guess wat. e worst is yet 2 come. after chem i went home. alone. so i board e train after like waitin 4 ages. n as a model passenger. i moved to e centre of e carriage so tt i will nt hinder e movement of other passengers. i was listenin to my phone (mp3 player) n holdin my translucent green colour file infront of mi w chong keat's maths tutorial rite at e front of e file. n guess wat. there is tis weird middle age guy who resemble mr sim. founder of CREATIVE. sittin rite in front of mi. n starin at my file. i decided to juz ignore him n was happily listenin to my songs. when i looked down n realised tt he is smilin at mi!!!
oh my goodness! i m like how freaked out lahz! wow liao. first of all. i muz sae tt i dun noe who is he. no 2. he look vry uncle like n tis gives mi creeps. n he juz keep on smilin at mi. as if he noe mi vry well like tt. i pretend to look awae n after awhile i decided to juz glance at him 2 c whether he is still starin at mi. lo n behold. he is actuallie still starin at mi n smilin!!! oh my goodness. i almost ran 4 my life lahz. wow liao.
if u tink tt i m over reactin. i can straightawae tell u tt i m nt. coz i encountered a weirdo/pervert at e beginnin of e yr. when i was returnin frm sch at ard 8 plus pm. he entered e lift w mi n juz suddenly turned towards mi. i was so scared tt i lost my sleepiness in like 1 second. i was in e 'ready to fight' position n thanx goodness i lived on e 6th floor. i dun wanna tink wat may happen if i live on e 11th floor. n he is ard my age or slightly older. u noe how freaky tt is?
aniwae back 2 e train. rite at tt moment. sumwan alighted n i sat down. 2 seats awae frm him. n he keep on turnin ard to look at mi. i tried 2 hide behind e person sittin between e 2 of us. but tt person alighted after 2 stops! luckily another guy sat down between us. or i will flee immediately. n i realise tt there is tis ajc gurl was standin in front of mi. n she kept on starin at mi. n 4 1 moment. i thot i 4get 2 zip my skirt of button my blouse. but hey. my uniform is ok. i mean i look normal.
everyting is alrite until admiralty. e stop b4 woodlands. e guy sittin between mi n e pervert alighted!!! there is no wan between us now. oh my goodness. i was msgin yee keow at tt moment. n he turned to face mi. w his legs blockin e seat in between e 2 of us. i was gettin ready to flee liao. n suddenly he juz shift over to e seat next 2 mi!!! arhz!!! i quickly finished sendin e msg 2 yee keow n jump up frm e seat to move to e blue carriage. wow liao. i was so freaked out lahz. wat e #%&?! n guess wat. when e train reaches woodlands. i glanced towards e red carriage n saw him alightin also!!! i was practically runnin down e escalator towards e library.
tis is vry freakin lahz! i seriously cant believe how unlucky n how bad my life is until now lorz. kana freaked out by 2 sickos in e same half of e yr. izzt becoz my skirt is short? maybe i shld lengthen my skirt. wow liao. tis yr is reallie vry happenin manz. suddenly i desire a peaceful n sianz life. my weak heart cannt take so much 'excitements'.
in conclusion. 2dae is a bad dae. a traumatisin dae. oh well.
first i didnt do my physics tutorial. n mrs tan is observin e lesson 2dae. so it's rather obvious tt i didnt do my tutorial b4 e lesson. hope it didnt affect how she assess mr lee. sighz.
next i screw up my spa. yahz. my last spa of e yr. my last spa 4 chem. coz i subsitute e wrong pressure into e eqn. i substitue atmospheric pressure instead of e pressure of e gas. so both my R values r wrong. great manz. tis is juz so gd rite. sighz. y muz i screw up all my spas? wateva. i tink i need a perfect score 4 my theory paper in order to get an A for all my subjects esp physics. there is no 1 single physics spa which i didnt make a fool of myself. excellent.
n guess wat. e worst is yet 2 come. after chem i went home. alone. so i board e train after like waitin 4 ages. n as a model passenger. i moved to e centre of e carriage so tt i will nt hinder e movement of other passengers. i was listenin to my phone (mp3 player) n holdin my translucent green colour file infront of mi w chong keat's maths tutorial rite at e front of e file. n guess wat. there is tis weird middle age guy who resemble mr sim. founder of CREATIVE. sittin rite in front of mi. n starin at my file. i decided to juz ignore him n was happily listenin to my songs. when i looked down n realised tt he is smilin at mi!!!
oh my goodness! i m like how freaked out lahz! wow liao. first of all. i muz sae tt i dun noe who is he. no 2. he look vry uncle like n tis gives mi creeps. n he juz keep on smilin at mi. as if he noe mi vry well like tt. i pretend to look awae n after awhile i decided to juz glance at him 2 c whether he is still starin at mi. lo n behold. he is actuallie still starin at mi n smilin!!! oh my goodness. i almost ran 4 my life lahz. wow liao.
if u tink tt i m over reactin. i can straightawae tell u tt i m nt. coz i encountered a weirdo/pervert at e beginnin of e yr. when i was returnin frm sch at ard 8 plus pm. he entered e lift w mi n juz suddenly turned towards mi. i was so scared tt i lost my sleepiness in like 1 second. i was in e 'ready to fight' position n thanx goodness i lived on e 6th floor. i dun wanna tink wat may happen if i live on e 11th floor. n he is ard my age or slightly older. u noe how freaky tt is?
aniwae back 2 e train. rite at tt moment. sumwan alighted n i sat down. 2 seats awae frm him. n he keep on turnin ard to look at mi. i tried 2 hide behind e person sittin between e 2 of us. but tt person alighted after 2 stops! luckily another guy sat down between us. or i will flee immediately. n i realise tt there is tis ajc gurl was standin in front of mi. n she kept on starin at mi. n 4 1 moment. i thot i 4get 2 zip my skirt of button my blouse. but hey. my uniform is ok. i mean i look normal.
everyting is alrite until admiralty. e stop b4 woodlands. e guy sittin between mi n e pervert alighted!!! there is no wan between us now. oh my goodness. i was msgin yee keow at tt moment. n he turned to face mi. w his legs blockin e seat in between e 2 of us. i was gettin ready to flee liao. n suddenly he juz shift over to e seat next 2 mi!!! arhz!!! i quickly finished sendin e msg 2 yee keow n jump up frm e seat to move to e blue carriage. wow liao. i was so freaked out lahz. wat e #%&?! n guess wat. when e train reaches woodlands. i glanced towards e red carriage n saw him alightin also!!! i was practically runnin down e escalator towards e library.
tis is vry freakin lahz! i seriously cant believe how unlucky n how bad my life is until now lorz. kana freaked out by 2 sickos in e same half of e yr. izzt becoz my skirt is short? maybe i shld lengthen my skirt. wow liao. tis yr is reallie vry happenin manz. suddenly i desire a peaceful n sianz life. my weak heart cannt take so much 'excitements'.
dreaming awae at 7:20 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
hey hey. i m in kuala lumpur now. hahaz. yupz. basically slackin ard while my parents r in genting highlands. so now i m in my god mum's house tryin 2 do my thermodynamic chem tutorial. which is in summary. vry unproductive.
i m so proud of myself yesterdae. coz i completed my quantum physics tutorial. hahaz. well. quantum physics is my strongest physics topic now. tis shows e difference between doin tutorial n nt doin tutorial. hahaz. was quite tired so decided tt i shld juz pon bio rememdial n go home n try 2 pack my bag. which i didnt lahz. ended up readin my story bk. which is quite a gd bk. hahaz. called 'fame game' by claudia ... cannt remember liao. yahz. but it helps 2 destress. hahaz.
n i did sumting yesterdae tt i nv thot i will do. i actuallie bought cigarettes. yahz. my mum coerced mi to do it. sighz. dun worry. i dun smoke. coz seriously i hate 2 tink wat might happen 2 my 2 perfectly healthy n functionin lungs. yuckz! bought it on e behalf of my daddy. who knew tt i juz passed my birthdae so i m of legal age 2 purchase cigarettes. oh well. n e auntie dun even believe tt i m 18 yrs old lahz. hahaz. feel quite happie. tis shows tt i m still young! hahaz. ok abit off.
so by e time i finished packin. it's 12.30 am. n i woke up at 3.30 am 2 take a shower b4 leavin at 4.15 am. coz my papa wanna 2 avoid e big jam. i reached kl at 7.30 am. which is seriously vry fast. n due 2 e fact tt my papa 4 quite a long stretch of rd is travellin at 160 km/hr. u get my pt lahz. n there r actuallie pple speedin at a higher speed than tis. oh my goodness. luckily i reach my destination safe n sound n abit wet coz i spilled my water while tryin 2 drink it. imagine tryin 2 ease e dryness of ur throat when e car is travellin at 120 km/hr on a rather uneven stretch of rd.
2dae is e last dae of band prac of j2. wonder how's everywan. hmmz. n i muz sae congrats daddy!!! arhz. now sum wan is offically a med student n soon 2 be doc le. i luv u daddy! hopefully ur spoilt daughter will hav a chance 2 walk down tis rd 2. hopefully. sighz. aniwae daddy i wan a treat! hahaz. u still owe mi one 4 my birthdae 2. hahaz. muz wait 4 mi 2 come back frm kl 2 celebrate arhz. luv u lots. muackz!
hey hey. i m in kuala lumpur now. hahaz. yupz. basically slackin ard while my parents r in genting highlands. so now i m in my god mum's house tryin 2 do my thermodynamic chem tutorial. which is in summary. vry unproductive.
i m so proud of myself yesterdae. coz i completed my quantum physics tutorial. hahaz. well. quantum physics is my strongest physics topic now. tis shows e difference between doin tutorial n nt doin tutorial. hahaz. was quite tired so decided tt i shld juz pon bio rememdial n go home n try 2 pack my bag. which i didnt lahz. ended up readin my story bk. which is quite a gd bk. hahaz. called 'fame game' by claudia ... cannt remember liao. yahz. but it helps 2 destress. hahaz.
n i did sumting yesterdae tt i nv thot i will do. i actuallie bought cigarettes. yahz. my mum coerced mi to do it. sighz. dun worry. i dun smoke. coz seriously i hate 2 tink wat might happen 2 my 2 perfectly healthy n functionin lungs. yuckz! bought it on e behalf of my daddy. who knew tt i juz passed my birthdae so i m of legal age 2 purchase cigarettes. oh well. n e auntie dun even believe tt i m 18 yrs old lahz. hahaz. feel quite happie. tis shows tt i m still young! hahaz. ok abit off.
so by e time i finished packin. it's 12.30 am. n i woke up at 3.30 am 2 take a shower b4 leavin at 4.15 am. coz my papa wanna 2 avoid e big jam. i reached kl at 7.30 am. which is seriously vry fast. n due 2 e fact tt my papa 4 quite a long stretch of rd is travellin at 160 km/hr. u get my pt lahz. n there r actuallie pple speedin at a higher speed than tis. oh my goodness. luckily i reach my destination safe n sound n abit wet coz i spilled my water while tryin 2 drink it. imagine tryin 2 ease e dryness of ur throat when e car is travellin at 120 km/hr on a rather uneven stretch of rd.
2dae is e last dae of band prac of j2. wonder how's everywan. hmmz. n i muz sae congrats daddy!!! arhz. now sum wan is offically a med student n soon 2 be doc le. i luv u daddy! hopefully ur spoilt daughter will hav a chance 2 walk down tis rd 2. hopefully. sighz. aniwae daddy i wan a treat! hahaz. u still owe mi one 4 my birthdae 2. hahaz. muz wait 4 mi 2 come back frm kl 2 celebrate arhz. luv u lots. muackz!
dreaming awae at 11:38 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
b4 i 4get. Happie Belated Birthdae Nana! my dear zhu mei who is my classmate 4 4 yrs in ny. yahz. n Happie Birthdae Yee Kiat! all e best 4 As...
well. didnt hav a peaceful nite yesterdae as i was coughin non stop even when i was dreamin. abit off. so basically i still feel vry tired even though i slept for such a long time yesterdae. i m turnin into a pig. oopz.
so went 2 sch tis morning. was finishin up my gp essay. which is of my normal standard. in other words. below average. i will be rather amused if i managed 2 pass. gp is like another curse 2 mi. i nv seem 2 be able 2 write great essays. sighz.
hav open bk/lect notes bio test 2dae. was ok lahz. since it's open bk. e dae passed by rather peacefully. juz tt i keep on coughin n sniffin. cant help it lahz. but i muz sae there is marked improvement frm yesterdae. when i sounded as though i m goin 2 die. hahaz.
hav my first physics remedial out of e 3 remedials conducted. coz e first remedial. i was sick. e 2nd remedial. i was awae 4 dance nite. so makin 2dae my first physics remedial. find it rather useful actuallie. yahz. hopefully my physics will buck up n stop failin. sighz.
well. i confirmed will nt be goin 4 e last band prac le. actuallie if i dun go 2 kl. n go 4 band prac instead. i cant play too. i cant even breathe normally now. how do u expect mi 2 play? n i nv touch bassoon 4 so long. i can imagine how horrible i will sound like. yuckz! so. i m sorrie samuel n dawnie. but nvm. i will be there spiritually w u all. hahaz. sound so ghostly. hope everywan hav a nice last band prac esp e j2s. yupz.
now is sum updates 4 my birthdae. first of all muz thanx yii ean 4 her birthdae presenz. i feel vry guilty tt i still haven given her hers. oopz. thanx 4 e earings! hahaz. reallie feel vry happie 2 hav u as my classmate 4 4 yrs. n i muz sae tt u r one of my closest fren so no matter wat happen. i will be here 4 u. u muz take care also. dun be 2 stressed ok? luv u lotsa!
also. i muz thanx princess 4 her cute little doggie w a star n birthdae note. thanx princess 4 remembering my birthdae. i reallie like e doggie n e star (of course). thanx 4 all e encouragements u hav given mi thruout my band life. e joy n fun we shared will always be remembered fondly in my heart. luv u always. muackz!
b4 i 4get. Happie Belated Birthdae Nana! my dear zhu mei who is my classmate 4 4 yrs in ny. yahz. n Happie Birthdae Yee Kiat! all e best 4 As...
well. didnt hav a peaceful nite yesterdae as i was coughin non stop even when i was dreamin. abit off. so basically i still feel vry tired even though i slept for such a long time yesterdae. i m turnin into a pig. oopz.
so went 2 sch tis morning. was finishin up my gp essay. which is of my normal standard. in other words. below average. i will be rather amused if i managed 2 pass. gp is like another curse 2 mi. i nv seem 2 be able 2 write great essays. sighz.
hav open bk/lect notes bio test 2dae. was ok lahz. since it's open bk. e dae passed by rather peacefully. juz tt i keep on coughin n sniffin. cant help it lahz. but i muz sae there is marked improvement frm yesterdae. when i sounded as though i m goin 2 die. hahaz.
hav my first physics remedial out of e 3 remedials conducted. coz e first remedial. i was sick. e 2nd remedial. i was awae 4 dance nite. so makin 2dae my first physics remedial. find it rather useful actuallie. yahz. hopefully my physics will buck up n stop failin. sighz.
well. i confirmed will nt be goin 4 e last band prac le. actuallie if i dun go 2 kl. n go 4 band prac instead. i cant play too. i cant even breathe normally now. how do u expect mi 2 play? n i nv touch bassoon 4 so long. i can imagine how horrible i will sound like. yuckz! so. i m sorrie samuel n dawnie. but nvm. i will be there spiritually w u all. hahaz. sound so ghostly. hope everywan hav a nice last band prac esp e j2s. yupz.
now is sum updates 4 my birthdae. first of all muz thanx yii ean 4 her birthdae presenz. i feel vry guilty tt i still haven given her hers. oopz. thanx 4 e earings! hahaz. reallie feel vry happie 2 hav u as my classmate 4 4 yrs. n i muz sae tt u r one of my closest fren so no matter wat happen. i will be here 4 u. u muz take care also. dun be 2 stressed ok? luv u lotsa!
also. i muz thanx princess 4 her cute little doggie w a star n birthdae note. thanx princess 4 remembering my birthdae. i reallie like e doggie n e star (of course). thanx 4 all e encouragements u hav given mi thruout my band life. e joy n fun we shared will always be remembered fondly in my heart. luv u always. muackz!
dreaming awae at 7:37 PM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
at times i reallie tink tt i m mad. yes. mad. takin on e job of doing backstage/av stuff 4 2 consecutive performances for 1 wk is more than enough 2 kill aniwan. esp sumwan whose immune system is practically non existent like mi. yahz. so my pt now is tt i m vry sick. severely sick. sick until i m takin more medication than i can count.
so basically i tried 2 hav sum rest on sundae to ensure tt i m able 2 come 2 sch on mondae. but e ting is my throat hurts lahz. survive thru e whole dae fairly well. considerin tt i did half of my quantum physics tutorial. i m startin 2 like n appreciate physics betta. wow! wat a astonishin discovery. esp at tis wee hours b4 common tests. hahaz.
went 4 guitar concert rehearsal after tt. erhz. was ok lahz. 4 a first time run thru. yahz. but e movement is rather slow. n quite sum time is wasted. n tis resulted in mi goin home frm sch at onli 10 plus. n tis juz aggrevates my condition. my cough became worse. my throat hurts more n i started to get rather grumpy. hahaz. but i muz thanx monash 4 helpin mi flag a taxi home. wat a gentleman! hahaz. was rather touched lahz. since i was tired till i was ready to drop to e floor.
yesterdae was horrible lahz. slept thru e whole dae except 4 maths lect. though i was dozing off 4 awhile. was quite surprised tt e teachers r so understandin. i still luv my tay most. hahaz. he let mi slept thru e whole lesson. n he always reminds mi 2 do my tutorials yet nv seem 2 be angree w mi. arhz. such a nice teacher. i luv him!!! hahaz. n mr low seem nt so bad after all. but i prefer 2 hav reservations on tt.
went 4 guitar dry run after tt. we r pretti much efficient i muz sae. at least e back stage pple. cant reallie sae tt 4 e control rm pple. hahaz. if u noe wat i m saein. then gd 4 u lahz. if nt. then dun bother. due 2 design probs. i ended up holdin e curtains 4 e main ensemble performances as e performers at e back row of stage left cant be seen. arhz. i m such a nice person. ok. enought braggin.
after dinner. went 2 get ready for e performance. i was practically doin av stuff 4 e guitar concert/rehearsals also. feel abit e dotz. hahaz. i ran out of adjectives. hav 1/2 hiccups along e wae. but overall was pretti much ok. xcept tt stuff always seemed 2 drop backstage n provide sound effect 4 quite a few items. includin e hci item. oh yahz. n i saw my frenz frm ny!!! hahaz. esp ms poon. arhz. so happie!!! okok. when e whole ting finished. all of us were vry relieved. hahaz. arhz. everyting turned out pretti alrite.
n i luv yu ying's totoros!!! so cute! arhz. hahaz. was playin w them backstage since i hav noting 2 do. n though i was irritated w certain pple. overall was a gd workin experience. at least i hav more tings 2 do than dance nite lahz. feel more useful. hahaz. n i was busily huggin sumwan's presenz. hahaz. so nice 2 hug also. realise tt ck's frenz r reallie crazy. now i noe y he behaved in such a manner. coz all his bb frenz abit crazy wan. was laughin so hard durin e rehearsals. hahaz. even e conductor was amused when he saw wat happened while conductin. hahaz.
after workin backstage 4 sum time. i hav come 2 a conclusion. it will be betta if e stage manager is nt one of e performers. coz sm hav 2 be present n available at every single moment. yahz. also. shall shorten rehearsal time lahz. n tt try nt 2 drag. coz e more time wasted. e more tire e pple r. yahz.
well. i shall go n sleep after takin my medication. or at least try to. n my parents juz told mi tt i will be goin 2 kl 4 e long weekend as they r goin 2 genting n there is no wan at home over e long wk end since my bro will be awae at chalet. so i guess i wun be there 4 my last band prac le. n av farewell also. but doubt aniwan will miss mi. hahaz.
at times i reallie tink tt i m mad. yes. mad. takin on e job of doing backstage/av stuff 4 2 consecutive performances for 1 wk is more than enough 2 kill aniwan. esp sumwan whose immune system is practically non existent like mi. yahz. so my pt now is tt i m vry sick. severely sick. sick until i m takin more medication than i can count.
so basically i tried 2 hav sum rest on sundae to ensure tt i m able 2 come 2 sch on mondae. but e ting is my throat hurts lahz. survive thru e whole dae fairly well. considerin tt i did half of my quantum physics tutorial. i m startin 2 like n appreciate physics betta. wow! wat a astonishin discovery. esp at tis wee hours b4 common tests. hahaz.
went 4 guitar concert rehearsal after tt. erhz. was ok lahz. 4 a first time run thru. yahz. but e movement is rather slow. n quite sum time is wasted. n tis resulted in mi goin home frm sch at onli 10 plus. n tis juz aggrevates my condition. my cough became worse. my throat hurts more n i started to get rather grumpy. hahaz. but i muz thanx monash 4 helpin mi flag a taxi home. wat a gentleman! hahaz. was rather touched lahz. since i was tired till i was ready to drop to e floor.
yesterdae was horrible lahz. slept thru e whole dae except 4 maths lect. though i was dozing off 4 awhile. was quite surprised tt e teachers r so understandin. i still luv my tay most. hahaz. he let mi slept thru e whole lesson. n he always reminds mi 2 do my tutorials yet nv seem 2 be angree w mi. arhz. such a nice teacher. i luv him!!! hahaz. n mr low seem nt so bad after all. but i prefer 2 hav reservations on tt.
went 4 guitar dry run after tt. we r pretti much efficient i muz sae. at least e back stage pple. cant reallie sae tt 4 e control rm pple. hahaz. if u noe wat i m saein. then gd 4 u lahz. if nt. then dun bother. due 2 design probs. i ended up holdin e curtains 4 e main ensemble performances as e performers at e back row of stage left cant be seen. arhz. i m such a nice person. ok. enought braggin.
after dinner. went 2 get ready for e performance. i was practically doin av stuff 4 e guitar concert/rehearsals also. feel abit e dotz. hahaz. i ran out of adjectives. hav 1/2 hiccups along e wae. but overall was pretti much ok. xcept tt stuff always seemed 2 drop backstage n provide sound effect 4 quite a few items. includin e hci item. oh yahz. n i saw my frenz frm ny!!! hahaz. esp ms poon. arhz. so happie!!! okok. when e whole ting finished. all of us were vry relieved. hahaz. arhz. everyting turned out pretti alrite.
n i luv yu ying's totoros!!! so cute! arhz. hahaz. was playin w them backstage since i hav noting 2 do. n though i was irritated w certain pple. overall was a gd workin experience. at least i hav more tings 2 do than dance nite lahz. feel more useful. hahaz. n i was busily huggin sumwan's presenz. hahaz. so nice 2 hug also. realise tt ck's frenz r reallie crazy. now i noe y he behaved in such a manner. coz all his bb frenz abit crazy wan. was laughin so hard durin e rehearsals. hahaz. even e conductor was amused when he saw wat happened while conductin. hahaz.
after workin backstage 4 sum time. i hav come 2 a conclusion. it will be betta if e stage manager is nt one of e performers. coz sm hav 2 be present n available at every single moment. yahz. also. shall shorten rehearsal time lahz. n tt try nt 2 drag. coz e more time wasted. e more tire e pple r. yahz.
well. i shall go n sleep after takin my medication. or at least try to. n my parents juz told mi tt i will be goin 2 kl 4 e long weekend as they r goin 2 genting n there is no wan at home over e long wk end since my bro will be awae at chalet. so i guess i wun be there 4 my last band prac le. n av farewell also. but doubt aniwan will miss mi. hahaz.
dreaming awae at 2:25 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Happie Birthdae Mei Zhong! though i m e 2nd person 2 wish u happie birthdae n u obviously dun remember mine until i wish u happie birthdae. hahaz. but i juz wanna sae tt u r a great fren n og mate who is 1 dae younger than mi. hahaz. miss e time we spent at our j'cozy. n ur jokes w qingzhen. tt nv fail 2 make mi laugh. u arhz. betta take care of urself. dun injure urself again. hav more stitches than mi becoz of e accident. luckily it's nt vry obvious. or else. i dun tink ani gurl will like u. hahaz.
hav fever in e mornin. sighz. my head was poundin like mad n my throat hurts so much tt swallowin is such a painful ting 2 do. decided i shall nt act strong n juz stay at home n rest after takin e painkillers. woke up juz in time 2 go 4 dance nite. or u shld call it afternoon in tis case. hahaz.
so basically my whole dae is spent in e pac lahz. was rather hungry coz i onli ate 1 piece of pizza 4 dinner. which is seriously nt enough. but after awhile. i guess i juz 4get e hunger le. i tink becoz we hav been stuck together 4 quite a long time. n e fact tt we keep on watchin e same performances tt e light n sound pple were gettin abit crazy. hahaz. namely mi. randy. ronnie. emmanuel (e pro lights guy). i keep on makin dotz comments n we keep on tokkin rubbish tt everywan cant stop laughin. hahaz. it was reallie an enjoyable experience workin w them. even though i was like e slackest person there. coz i dun hav much tings 2 do. hahaz.
but i muz sae tt 2 be a gd dancer. first of all. u muz hav a well proportioned body. namely. u cant be short. ur body muz nt be 2 long. or else u reallie look vry weird. esp if u danced ballet. yupz. i m nt being mean. but watchin like 6 performances includin rehearsals tis is e conclusion i came 2. hahaz. n e guys all agreed w mi lahz. esp emmanuel. he is reallie a vry nice n funnie person. guess tis is reallie a gd experience. coz i get 2 c how e technical stuff r being used etc.
was watchin parts of e phantom of e opera durin e break between e 2 performances. courtesy of emmanuel. even though e dvd is pirated. hahaz. was a rather nice experience. coz it reminded mi of sum stuff. well shall end off here. n get sum sleep. my eyes r closin...
Happie Birthdae Mei Zhong! though i m e 2nd person 2 wish u happie birthdae n u obviously dun remember mine until i wish u happie birthdae. hahaz. but i juz wanna sae tt u r a great fren n og mate who is 1 dae younger than mi. hahaz. miss e time we spent at our j'cozy. n ur jokes w qingzhen. tt nv fail 2 make mi laugh. u arhz. betta take care of urself. dun injure urself again. hav more stitches than mi becoz of e accident. luckily it's nt vry obvious. or else. i dun tink ani gurl will like u. hahaz.
hav fever in e mornin. sighz. my head was poundin like mad n my throat hurts so much tt swallowin is such a painful ting 2 do. decided i shall nt act strong n juz stay at home n rest after takin e painkillers. woke up juz in time 2 go 4 dance nite. or u shld call it afternoon in tis case. hahaz.
so basically my whole dae is spent in e pac lahz. was rather hungry coz i onli ate 1 piece of pizza 4 dinner. which is seriously nt enough. but after awhile. i guess i juz 4get e hunger le. i tink becoz we hav been stuck together 4 quite a long time. n e fact tt we keep on watchin e same performances tt e light n sound pple were gettin abit crazy. hahaz. namely mi. randy. ronnie. emmanuel (e pro lights guy). i keep on makin dotz comments n we keep on tokkin rubbish tt everywan cant stop laughin. hahaz. it was reallie an enjoyable experience workin w them. even though i was like e slackest person there. coz i dun hav much tings 2 do. hahaz.
but i muz sae tt 2 be a gd dancer. first of all. u muz hav a well proportioned body. namely. u cant be short. ur body muz nt be 2 long. or else u reallie look vry weird. esp if u danced ballet. yupz. i m nt being mean. but watchin like 6 performances includin rehearsals tis is e conclusion i came 2. hahaz. n e guys all agreed w mi lahz. esp emmanuel. he is reallie a vry nice n funnie person. guess tis is reallie a gd experience. coz i get 2 c how e technical stuff r being used etc.
was watchin parts of e phantom of e opera durin e break between e 2 performances. courtesy of emmanuel. even though e dvd is pirated. hahaz. was a rather nice experience. coz it reminded mi of sum stuff. well shall end off here. n get sum sleep. my eyes r closin...
dreaming awae at 11:58 PM
Friday, May 13, 2005
Happy Birthdae to me...happy birthdae to Me...Happie birthdae to Me! Happie birthdae to mi... hahaz. abit off arhz. sing birthdae song 4 myself. aniwae juz wanna wish jiang chuan happie 16th birthdae! hahaz. it's a great dae 2 be born on. yupz. i juz luv e no 13.
went 4 occupational therapy yesterdae. hav tis hot wax treatment. where they placed my hand in e hot wax so tt it will form a layer over my hand n ease e stiffness. after tt. e cooled wax is peeled off mi as if it is a glove. quite fun u noe. hahaz. after tt i played w putty. or sumting tt resemble e play dough i used 2 hav when i was a child. i m supposed 2 clench e putty etc. n it is rather evident tt my pinkie has like no strength at all. sighz. my therapist told mi tt my pinkie will nt improve much in future. in terms of e size (less swollen) n e stiffness lahz. it will nv be e same again le. guess i sorta accepted it long time ago.
spent like 1 hr plus collectin my past bills n receipts in e hospital 2 claim insurance. n i realised tt i need my parents' consent 2 retrieve my medical records. namely my in patient discharge summary. sianz. tt means i hav 2 make a trip down tan tock seng soon.
took class photo yesterdae 2. tis time round. i get to stand. hahaz. even though i m like reallie short. oh well. n our informal photo is horrible lahz. as usual. still find our informal photo last yr vry funnie. hahaz. esp e guys' expressions. hahaz.
as 4 2dae. i screwed up my physics spa lahz. as usual. tis is like old news le. n compre was hard coz it's so philosophical. juz tryin 2 do e summary makes mi wanna faint. but sumhow i survive! hahaz.
received a pleasant surprise when i reach sch. coz my og prepared a black forest cake 4 mi. hahaz. reallie appreciate it. coz i thot tis yr i wun get e chance 2 blow candles. i m addicted 2 candles blowin. hahaz. was happily eatin e choc flakes while waitin 4 pple 2 come 2 kcove. thanx 2 glen. yu kit. constance. wen loong. ju yuan. selene. yi liang. ke yi. julia. qi en. n of course swee sen. hahaz. juz wanna sae tt i luv u all lots n i m reallie vry happie 2 hav u all as my junior n fellow ogl.
i wanna thanx birdie n ymw 4 their presenz n card. hahaz. thanx 4 e star earings tt attract so mani pple's attention. e star hair tie n e socks. sumhow i hav a feelin tt u all r tryin 2 change my wardrobe. hahaz. no lahz. juz jokin. but thanx once again.
also wanna sae thanx 2 samuel n dawnie 4 their presenz. but dawnie can i dun put e bright orange flower on my bag. it's so...bright! n my bag is grey. it will look vry Attract Attention. which is nt my style. or at least i tink so. hahaz. n samuel. thanx 4 ur letter. n sweets. i appreciate e thots. thanx
2 yu kit. christine n siok teng. thanx 4 e bear. which looks as though it is accidentally dyed w different colours after putin it in e washin machine. hahaz. as it is overall pink in colour. i decided 2 call it pinkie! hahaz. n it's reallie vry nice 2 touch n hug it. thanx dears. luv u all vry vry much!
juz wanna thanx e followin pple 4 their msges n well wishes. first of all is my daddy gabriel. who sumhow in camp still managed 2 msg mi on time arhz. hahaz. daddy i wan a treat!!! hahaz. followed by my tze hui twin sis rite. hahaz. dun worry u r nt e onli wan fallin asleep at tt pt of time.
jasmine ah bu. yu kit. caroline. win2. yee keow. christine. dawnie. darlin son. rina. xiang2. sok ee. marlom. boon2. gurl arhz. jiang chuan. wei na. ah gong suyi. nan xiao. lulu. chong keat. wang yang. shyn lyn. manda. 2 my sqmates n juniors who i nv c 4 like billion of yrs. juz wanna sae tt i was vry touched tt u all actuallie remembered. yahz. thanx 2 everywan who has given mi their blessings 2dae. luv u all always!
Happy Birthdae to me...happy birthdae to Me...Happie birthdae to Me! Happie birthdae to mi... hahaz. abit off arhz. sing birthdae song 4 myself. aniwae juz wanna wish jiang chuan happie 16th birthdae! hahaz. it's a great dae 2 be born on. yupz. i juz luv e no 13.
went 4 occupational therapy yesterdae. hav tis hot wax treatment. where they placed my hand in e hot wax so tt it will form a layer over my hand n ease e stiffness. after tt. e cooled wax is peeled off mi as if it is a glove. quite fun u noe. hahaz. after tt i played w putty. or sumting tt resemble e play dough i used 2 hav when i was a child. i m supposed 2 clench e putty etc. n it is rather evident tt my pinkie has like no strength at all. sighz. my therapist told mi tt my pinkie will nt improve much in future. in terms of e size (less swollen) n e stiffness lahz. it will nv be e same again le. guess i sorta accepted it long time ago.
spent like 1 hr plus collectin my past bills n receipts in e hospital 2 claim insurance. n i realised tt i need my parents' consent 2 retrieve my medical records. namely my in patient discharge summary. sianz. tt means i hav 2 make a trip down tan tock seng soon.
took class photo yesterdae 2. tis time round. i get to stand. hahaz. even though i m like reallie short. oh well. n our informal photo is horrible lahz. as usual. still find our informal photo last yr vry funnie. hahaz. esp e guys' expressions. hahaz.
as 4 2dae. i screwed up my physics spa lahz. as usual. tis is like old news le. n compre was hard coz it's so philosophical. juz tryin 2 do e summary makes mi wanna faint. but sumhow i survive! hahaz.
received a pleasant surprise when i reach sch. coz my og prepared a black forest cake 4 mi. hahaz. reallie appreciate it. coz i thot tis yr i wun get e chance 2 blow candles. i m addicted 2 candles blowin. hahaz. was happily eatin e choc flakes while waitin 4 pple 2 come 2 kcove. thanx 2 glen. yu kit. constance. wen loong. ju yuan. selene. yi liang. ke yi. julia. qi en. n of course swee sen. hahaz. juz wanna sae tt i luv u all lots n i m reallie vry happie 2 hav u all as my junior n fellow ogl.
i wanna thanx birdie n ymw 4 their presenz n card. hahaz. thanx 4 e star earings tt attract so mani pple's attention. e star hair tie n e socks. sumhow i hav a feelin tt u all r tryin 2 change my wardrobe. hahaz. no lahz. juz jokin. but thanx once again.
also wanna sae thanx 2 samuel n dawnie 4 their presenz. but dawnie can i dun put e bright orange flower on my bag. it's so...bright! n my bag is grey. it will look vry Attract Attention. which is nt my style. or at least i tink so. hahaz. n samuel. thanx 4 ur letter. n sweets. i appreciate e thots. thanx
2 yu kit. christine n siok teng. thanx 4 e bear. which looks as though it is accidentally dyed w different colours after putin it in e washin machine. hahaz. as it is overall pink in colour. i decided 2 call it pinkie! hahaz. n it's reallie vry nice 2 touch n hug it. thanx dears. luv u all vry vry much!
juz wanna thanx e followin pple 4 their msges n well wishes. first of all is my daddy gabriel. who sumhow in camp still managed 2 msg mi on time arhz. hahaz. daddy i wan a treat!!! hahaz. followed by my tze hui twin sis rite. hahaz. dun worry u r nt e onli wan fallin asleep at tt pt of time.
jasmine ah bu. yu kit. caroline. win2. yee keow. christine. dawnie. darlin son. rina. xiang2. sok ee. marlom. boon2. gurl arhz. jiang chuan. wei na. ah gong suyi. nan xiao. lulu. chong keat. wang yang. shyn lyn. manda. 2 my sqmates n juniors who i nv c 4 like billion of yrs. juz wanna sae tt i was vry touched tt u all actuallie remembered. yahz. thanx 2 everywan who has given mi their blessings 2dae. luv u all always!
dreaming awae at 11:59 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
well. i m dyin of exhaustion n pain now. great. juz great. so basically yesterdae is quite ok. except my feet r killin mi. n tt we braved e rain 2 watch e table tennis match even though my whole class like disappeared 2gather 2 go back 2 sch after a while. wow. tt's tis guy who is reallie vry vry qiang!!! my 'idol' frm now on. he is so gd!!! i cant stand pple like him who r so talented. sighz. y cant i be talented in sum waes 2? sighz. i m bored w life.
so i went 4 dance nite rehearsal after tt lahz. my bandages all ruined by e rain so i hav 2 come up w sum reallie weird bandages 2 cushion my blisters. which supposedly reduces e pain while i m walkin. n i m like how slack. hahaz. my job is 2 tell randy when 2 play e music. hahaz. e slackest person in e whole team. n tt hav 2 be mi le. hahaz. n e rehearsal ended at 11.15 pm. i almost died. decided nt 2 take taxi (tryin to save money). so ended up walkin 2 mrt 2 take e train n bus. when i reached home it's abt 12.10 am. n i slept at 1.30am so tt my hair is dry by then.
was so tired 2dae tt i dun noe how e dance pple survive. they r reallie quite qiang u noe. hav 2 rehearsals in 1 nite. but can c tt they quite tired coz alot of accidents happened in e 2nd rehearsal. yet still can survive in class. n i muz sae tt e chinese dances r reallie gd. remind mi of ny chinese dance which is vry gd. arhz.
so i was strugglin 2 keep myself awake durin chem tutorial 2dae. n keep on givin ms tang tt dazed look. hahaz. n slept thru half of physics lect. n slept another 1 hr after sch b4 goin 4 band. tis teaches mi 4 being k.s. try 2 go 4 all performances 4 free rite.
2dae band major/drum major elections. arhz. erhz. dun reallie hav much 2 sae lahz. since i dun noe e j1s like reallie well. except yu kit ba. hahaz. i juz luv 2 traumatise her. ask a few qns n feel reallie out of place lahz. since like i m nt in e exco n e choosin of successors hav notin much 2 do w mi. but was quite tired tt in e end decided tt i shld juz stop askin qns.
went 2 eat w yee keow b4 goin shoppin 4 cds. erhz. e cd i wanna buy is nt out lehz. sighz. nvm. but i realise tt music junction is reallie a bargain place. wow. i spent like $25 4 2 cds. arhz. i luv myself so much. erhz. aniwan hav e mj rewards card? coz tis mth is my birthdae n if i buy rite. i hav 10% discount. so muz make full use of tis discount. if u hav. tell mi hor. thanx.
n i went 2 do e handwritin test. is totally dotz by one of e description. oh my goodness. i m goin 2 faint. n my com hang 2dae. oh dear. i hope i didnt introduce ani virus inside or else my bro is goin 2 murder mi. arhz.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Estella has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Estella fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Estella has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Estella just comes into someone's home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Estella finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.
Estella has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Estella's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Estella has regarding sex and physical things. So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Estella is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.
Estella has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Estella is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Estella basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
In reference to Estella's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Estella slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Estella can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Diplomacy is one of Estella's best attributes. She has the ability to say what others want to hear. She can have tact with others. She has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Estella can disagree without being disagreeable.
Estella will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!
Estella will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Estella believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
Estella uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Estella does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Estella will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Estella is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Estella doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
so in conclusion. tis is nt vry accurate. if wanna go 4 such test muz realie do tt kind of real handwritin analysis. w ur own handwritin 4 pple 2 analyse. coz tis test is askin u 2 chose e wan tt is most similar. so nt accurate. hahaz. i m practisin my physics spa skill d now rite. tokin abt accuracy n suggestion for improvements. abit off. sighz. fall into withdrawal symptoms every now n then. rather enjoys e silence actuallie. maybe i m juz lookin 4 sum peace. sumtimes tings r nt wat they seem or r they? wateva it is. i dun feel like tokin animore. silence is golden as usual.
well. i m dyin of exhaustion n pain now. great. juz great. so basically yesterdae is quite ok. except my feet r killin mi. n tt we braved e rain 2 watch e table tennis match even though my whole class like disappeared 2gather 2 go back 2 sch after a while. wow. tt's tis guy who is reallie vry vry qiang!!! my 'idol' frm now on. he is so gd!!! i cant stand pple like him who r so talented. sighz. y cant i be talented in sum waes 2? sighz. i m bored w life.
so i went 4 dance nite rehearsal after tt lahz. my bandages all ruined by e rain so i hav 2 come up w sum reallie weird bandages 2 cushion my blisters. which supposedly reduces e pain while i m walkin. n i m like how slack. hahaz. my job is 2 tell randy when 2 play e music. hahaz. e slackest person in e whole team. n tt hav 2 be mi le. hahaz. n e rehearsal ended at 11.15 pm. i almost died. decided nt 2 take taxi (tryin to save money). so ended up walkin 2 mrt 2 take e train n bus. when i reached home it's abt 12.10 am. n i slept at 1.30am so tt my hair is dry by then.
was so tired 2dae tt i dun noe how e dance pple survive. they r reallie quite qiang u noe. hav 2 rehearsals in 1 nite. but can c tt they quite tired coz alot of accidents happened in e 2nd rehearsal. yet still can survive in class. n i muz sae tt e chinese dances r reallie gd. remind mi of ny chinese dance which is vry gd. arhz.
so i was strugglin 2 keep myself awake durin chem tutorial 2dae. n keep on givin ms tang tt dazed look. hahaz. n slept thru half of physics lect. n slept another 1 hr after sch b4 goin 4 band. tis teaches mi 4 being k.s. try 2 go 4 all performances 4 free rite.
2dae band major/drum major elections. arhz. erhz. dun reallie hav much 2 sae lahz. since i dun noe e j1s like reallie well. except yu kit ba. hahaz. i juz luv 2 traumatise her. ask a few qns n feel reallie out of place lahz. since like i m nt in e exco n e choosin of successors hav notin much 2 do w mi. but was quite tired tt in e end decided tt i shld juz stop askin qns.
went 2 eat w yee keow b4 goin shoppin 4 cds. erhz. e cd i wanna buy is nt out lehz. sighz. nvm. but i realise tt music junction is reallie a bargain place. wow. i spent like $25 4 2 cds. arhz. i luv myself so much. erhz. aniwan hav e mj rewards card? coz tis mth is my birthdae n if i buy rite. i hav 10% discount. so muz make full use of tis discount. if u hav. tell mi hor. thanx.
n i went 2 do e handwritin test. is totally dotz by one of e description. oh my goodness. i m goin 2 faint. n my com hang 2dae. oh dear. i hope i didnt introduce ani virus inside or else my bro is goin 2 murder mi. arhz.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Estella has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Estella fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Estella has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Estella just comes into someone's home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Estella finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.
Estella has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Estella's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Estella has regarding sex and physical things. So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Estella is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.
Estella has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Estella is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Estella basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
In reference to Estella's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Estella slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Estella can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Diplomacy is one of Estella's best attributes. She has the ability to say what others want to hear. She can have tact with others. She has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Estella can disagree without being disagreeable.
Estella will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!
Estella will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Estella believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
Estella uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Estella does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Estella will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Estella is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Estella doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
so in conclusion. tis is nt vry accurate. if wanna go 4 such test muz realie do tt kind of real handwritin analysis. w ur own handwritin 4 pple 2 analyse. coz tis test is askin u 2 chose e wan tt is most similar. so nt accurate. hahaz. i m practisin my physics spa skill d now rite. tokin abt accuracy n suggestion for improvements. abit off. sighz. fall into withdrawal symptoms every now n then. rather enjoys e silence actuallie. maybe i m juz lookin 4 sum peace. sumtimes tings r nt wat they seem or r they? wateva it is. i dun feel like tokin animore. silence is golden as usual.
dreaming awae at 7:50 PM
Monday, May 09, 2005
found tis blogskin. like it vry much. hahaz. it's so cute. dun u tink so? so spent e whole afternoon redoin e template 4 e blog. like tis quite alot. yupz. tink tt it's time 2 change my template le. need 2 go n shower n eat liao. shall end here.
found tis blogskin. like it vry much. hahaz. it's so cute. dun u tink so? so spent e whole afternoon redoin e template 4 e blog. like tis quite alot. yupz. tink tt it's time 2 change my template le. need 2 go n shower n eat liao. shall end here.
dreaming awae at 7:06 PM
well. didnt go 2 sch again 2dae. coz need 2 go n 'freeze my feet' again. tis time there is large improvements. onli need 2 undergo e treatment 4 4 spots in total. i was like jokin 2 my doc tt i came 2 c her every wk 2 undergo sufferin. hahaz. n we chatted abit abt 1st yr med sch. like 4 her. their first yr they alrdy started 2 dissect human body. yahz. sound so much more interestin than med syllabus now. hahaz. n i did a vry 2pid ting 2dae. i 4got 2 bring my atm card. so in e end. i hav 2 hobble home n back 2 e clinic again 2 pay. feel reallie stupid. i m blur lahz. sighz.
guess e greatest feelin of disappointment stem frm tis. e sudden realisation tt ur frens hav no faith in u. in ur character. in ur maturity. in ur logic. in ur compassion. in ur behaviour. do i reallie appear 2 be tt shallow? tt useless? tt biased? tt immatured? maybe i do. but all i noe is tt i can add sumting 2 e list of tings tt i will nv tolerate which includes betrayal n smokin. lack of trust. since it turns out tis wae. i reallie dun noe wat 2 sae. xcept tt since u dun trust mi. then pls. dun expect mi 2 trust u animore. wat's e use of frenship if u hav 2 worry abt my behaviour? to mi now. it's as if i dun noe u at all. n u dun noe mi too. we r juz strangers. strangers who r in each other lives for tis past yr.
suddenly i realise e imptance of independence. 2 be independent ensures tt 1 dae if u r reallie left w noting. u will still be able 2 move on. 2 rely on no wan but urself. i always hope tt i m tt kind of person whom u can dump aniwhere in e world n i will survive type. now i m goin 2 make sure tt i become sumwan like tt. 2 ensure my own survival n sanity.
dreaming awae at 1:59 PM
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Happie Belated Birthdae Nan Xiao! Happie Belated Birthdae Win2! Happie Birthdae Dreyz! May u all be as pretti as mi. hahaz. nono. i m juz jokin. Juz wanna wish e 3 of u all e best n may happiness be with u all always.
well. yesterdae seem 2 be e longest dae i hav eva live thru. was physically exhausted. n i dun noe e reason y. saw my batchmates in sch. most of us look pretti alrite. all r grievin. but most hav alrdy started 2 move on. n i muz sae tt i m vry proud of all of u. coz u all displayed e courage n strength tt i noe will help our band 2 move on.
stayed back in sch 2 film e chinese drama. n e drama is nt bad. n some parts r reallie funnie. but pac is reallie vry cold. i was frozen. even w my jacket. tis reminds mi 2 bring my jacket n maybe pants 2 change into 4 my 5 daes stint in pac until 10 pm next wk 4 dance nite n rehearsals.
went 2 teach tuition 2dae. at 9 am. so tt i will be able 2 rush off 2 batch outin. but i was so tired tt i practically dozed off while waitin 4 my tutee 2 finish doin e qns. in e end i give in 2 my exhaustion n slept after tuition. so didnt go 2 batch outin. feel quite guilty. sighz.
i was awoken by amir mummy's call. askin mi whether i wanna hav lunch w him. which of course i agreed lahz. coz i missed my mummy. so long nv c him liao. but my cousin bought food 4 mi so in e end i ate like half packet of vegetarian noodles b4 meetin up w mummy who is 4eva late. sighz. tok abt being a woman. i tink he is more like 1 than mi. hahaz.
hav a long chat w mummy on e train n in cafe cartel. i ordered pork chops while mummy ordered his all time fav e dory fish. keep on tokin n eatin at e same time. n wat mummy sae strike mi. he sae tt wateva we feel now shld nt hav anitin 2 do w e seniors n e past glory but onli us. coz at every syf. it's diff grps of pple who r competin w each other. true. we all belong 2 rj. but every syf. it's a diff batch of rjcsb fightin w other schs. we cannt expect rj 2 stay on top 4eva n tt all e other schs 2 stay below 4eva. pple look up 2 us as a challenge. a goal 2 work 2wards 2. we shld feel honoured abt it.
n maybe becoz we dun hav a bandrm 2 ourselves. band pracs whether sectional or self prac seem like a chore. sumting 2 be dreaded. i muz admit tt e enthusiasm 2 prac has decreased drastically. we no longer hav a place 2 call our own. n mummy is saein tt we shld ask e admin 2 give us a rm. but i dun tink it's goin 2 happen. rj is saturated alrdy. all large enough rms r used up. there is no place 2 house us animore. i dun noe lahz. maybe e admin shld wisen up abt tis. morale matters more than anitin. bet tt they dun understand.
met iris biao jie on my wae home. was tellin her wat a pig i was. after eatin at cafe cartel. i ended up goin 2 orchard w mummy 2 eat dessert at coffee club xpress. ordered a triple choc a la mode. while mummy ordered a tiramisu al cafe. i tell u. my triple choc is so sweet n fat laden tt i feel sinful. oh my goodness. can u imagine how much fats there r w 4 pieces of chewy rich choc w almonds n 1 huge scoop of vanilla ice cream. feel so high after eatin so much sugar. hahaz. n apparently biao jie ate alot 2. hahaz. oh dear. e 2 of us r growin 2 become a piggy. hahaz. n i muz sae thanx 2 mummy. who treat mi 2dae. yupz. shall get u a huge nice birthdae presenz. luv u always mummy. n congrats 4 gettin e teachin scholarship. go n pursue ur dreamz. ur youngest n most spoilt daughter will be always supportin u! but i will need rewards like tis at times arhz. hahaz.
i m so full tt i didnt eat dinner 2nite. hahaz. but piggin out do makes mi feel betta. arhz. realise tt i hav alot of work 2 finish. oh dear. includin a gp essay. which i m tryin nt 2 remember abt. yuckz!
2 my batchmates n juniors in rjcsb. i luv u all lots. n i m nt being cliche. i mean it. i learnt alot frm all of u n e bonds tt r forged among us is sumting i will remember 4eva. i nv regretted joinin band. nv. becoz of u all. 2 my dear princess. u r reallie one of e strongest person i noe n i luv u lots. 2 vicky. u r one of e most logical n clear headed person i noe. though u might disagree w mi. 2 everywan. deep inside we all noe where we belong n tt place is rjcsb. may happiness be w us always.
Happie Belated Birthdae Nan Xiao! Happie Belated Birthdae Win2! Happie Birthdae Dreyz! May u all be as pretti as mi. hahaz. nono. i m juz jokin. Juz wanna wish e 3 of u all e best n may happiness be with u all always.
well. yesterdae seem 2 be e longest dae i hav eva live thru. was physically exhausted. n i dun noe e reason y. saw my batchmates in sch. most of us look pretti alrite. all r grievin. but most hav alrdy started 2 move on. n i muz sae tt i m vry proud of all of u. coz u all displayed e courage n strength tt i noe will help our band 2 move on.
stayed back in sch 2 film e chinese drama. n e drama is nt bad. n some parts r reallie funnie. but pac is reallie vry cold. i was frozen. even w my jacket. tis reminds mi 2 bring my jacket n maybe pants 2 change into 4 my 5 daes stint in pac until 10 pm next wk 4 dance nite n rehearsals.
went 2 teach tuition 2dae. at 9 am. so tt i will be able 2 rush off 2 batch outin. but i was so tired tt i practically dozed off while waitin 4 my tutee 2 finish doin e qns. in e end i give in 2 my exhaustion n slept after tuition. so didnt go 2 batch outin. feel quite guilty. sighz.
i was awoken by amir mummy's call. askin mi whether i wanna hav lunch w him. which of course i agreed lahz. coz i missed my mummy. so long nv c him liao. but my cousin bought food 4 mi so in e end i ate like half packet of vegetarian noodles b4 meetin up w mummy who is 4eva late. sighz. tok abt being a woman. i tink he is more like 1 than mi. hahaz.
hav a long chat w mummy on e train n in cafe cartel. i ordered pork chops while mummy ordered his all time fav e dory fish. keep on tokin n eatin at e same time. n wat mummy sae strike mi. he sae tt wateva we feel now shld nt hav anitin 2 do w e seniors n e past glory but onli us. coz at every syf. it's diff grps of pple who r competin w each other. true. we all belong 2 rj. but every syf. it's a diff batch of rjcsb fightin w other schs. we cannt expect rj 2 stay on top 4eva n tt all e other schs 2 stay below 4eva. pple look up 2 us as a challenge. a goal 2 work 2wards 2. we shld feel honoured abt it.
n maybe becoz we dun hav a bandrm 2 ourselves. band pracs whether sectional or self prac seem like a chore. sumting 2 be dreaded. i muz admit tt e enthusiasm 2 prac has decreased drastically. we no longer hav a place 2 call our own. n mummy is saein tt we shld ask e admin 2 give us a rm. but i dun tink it's goin 2 happen. rj is saturated alrdy. all large enough rms r used up. there is no place 2 house us animore. i dun noe lahz. maybe e admin shld wisen up abt tis. morale matters more than anitin. bet tt they dun understand.
met iris biao jie on my wae home. was tellin her wat a pig i was. after eatin at cafe cartel. i ended up goin 2 orchard w mummy 2 eat dessert at coffee club xpress. ordered a triple choc a la mode. while mummy ordered a tiramisu al cafe. i tell u. my triple choc is so sweet n fat laden tt i feel sinful. oh my goodness. can u imagine how much fats there r w 4 pieces of chewy rich choc w almonds n 1 huge scoop of vanilla ice cream. feel so high after eatin so much sugar. hahaz. n apparently biao jie ate alot 2. hahaz. oh dear. e 2 of us r growin 2 become a piggy. hahaz. n i muz sae thanx 2 mummy. who treat mi 2dae. yupz. shall get u a huge nice birthdae presenz. luv u always mummy. n congrats 4 gettin e teachin scholarship. go n pursue ur dreamz. ur youngest n most spoilt daughter will be always supportin u! but i will need rewards like tis at times arhz. hahaz.
i m so full tt i didnt eat dinner 2nite. hahaz. but piggin out do makes mi feel betta. arhz. realise tt i hav alot of work 2 finish. oh dear. includin a gp essay. which i m tryin nt 2 remember abt. yuckz!
2 my batchmates n juniors in rjcsb. i luv u all lots. n i m nt being cliche. i mean it. i learnt alot frm all of u n e bonds tt r forged among us is sumting i will remember 4eva. i nv regretted joinin band. nv. becoz of u all. 2 my dear princess. u r reallie one of e strongest person i noe n i luv u lots. 2 vicky. u r one of e most logical n clear headed person i noe. though u might disagree w mi. 2 everywan. deep inside we all noe where we belong n tt place is rjcsb. may happiness be w us always.
dreaming awae at 10:50 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
HAPPIE BIRTHDAE UNCLE HUI YAN! i luv u always.
hav a lunch outin w christine on wed. hav a reallie fun time whinin 2 her. hahaz. was reallie glad 2 c her. did sum work in sch b4 leavin to teach tuition. n due 2 e heavy rain at bishan rjc onli. i took e bus n took 30 mins 2 reach e interchange instead of e normal 12 mins. feel reallie stupid. my tutee is havin her exams now. i do hope tt she do well. or else i will be out of job soon.
2dae is band syf. my first band syf. my 2nd time sittin in as one of e mani audience 2 listen 2 e band play. e first time was durin Vox last yr at esplanade. left sch at 9 plus w yee keow n du yang 2 go 2 SCH so tt we can sit in e mornin session 2. n listen 2 other bands.
acjc was gd. mjc was vry gd. vjc was vry gd. njc was gd. jjc was nt bad even though their whole brass section onli hav 11 pple. can u imagine how's small is tt? tt was all i remembered after listenin 2 e first 8 bands in e mornin. includin 8 versions of singapore rhasphody. mj n vj sound vry solid. n their brasses r reallie vry gd. i was vry worried abt rj then. coz e image of mj playin n e music frm vj keep on playin in my mind. started 2 msg pple 2 wish them luck n cheer them on. n try 2 calm myself down.
afternoon session started. tpjc then rj. sittin in e audience. i was so scared tt i felt rather cold. can reallie imagine how e band felt rite at tt moment. e band came on stage. n i dun noe y. but i started 2 cry. maybe i m juz being over worried. but after hearin e singapore rhasphody i thot tt we sound gd. reallie. then came e chosen. felt reallie nostalgic. i can mentally insert myself inside e band. but truthfully i was rather thanxful tt i wasnt in e band. coz i wun be able 2 handle e stress n will start goin off tune which is my fav ting 2 do. tis decision is e best 4 both e band n mi. felt tt e chosen was gd 2. n there r reallie improvements since a tempo.
e rest of e bands juz passed by. n when it's tj's turn. i started 2 feel worried again. tj is gd. except 4 their clarinets. or one of them who keep on squeakin. other than tt i felt tt on e whole they r gd. juz tt i dun like their version of e chosen. w e piccolo n flute coverin e bassoon durin e bassoon solo.
e results r reallie shockin. when mj n vj didnt get gold w honours. i was reallie vry scared. i was waitin 4 e 'w honours' but it didnt come. n reality is thrown full fledge into e face. shall nt comment much on e results. except tt i felt one of e jc shldnt receive all e glory it had 2dae. coz they r reallie nt tt gd.
i felt vry apologetic 2wards those who were affected by wat i sae b4 e release of e results. e pain. e sorrow. e anger is clearly shown on faces. tears rolled down disappointed faces. n i feel reallie sad 4 us all even though i didnt play. coz i noe tis is e hardest fall ani of us hav ever experienced. n seriously i dun noe wat 2 do. coz i guess i didnt expect tis 2 happen.
e journey back 2 sch seem 2 be nv endin. e silence in e bus made e air seem heavy. when we reached ri. i didnt dare 2 go into e bandrm. blame it on my cowardice. i dun noe how 2 face my batchmates who r cryin. i cant sae tt it's ok coz it's seriously nt ok. i dun noe how 2 comfort them coz i nv experience tis in my life. those who did nt play hav 2 be strong 4 those who played. but cin others cry made mi feel vry sad n tears rolled down my cheeks while huggin my iris biao jie.
thanx hui yan uncle n nicole 4 e cd n e rubber band. i reallie appreciate them. thanx vry much.
i juz wanna sae tis tt we r all human beings. we all hav emotions. when faced w disappointment. it's ok 2 cry over it. be angree abt it. be regretful abt it. everywan needs time 2 grief. needs time 2 let out e stress n lighten e emotion burden. but ultimately when e grievin is completed. n e mind starts 2 tink. i do hope tt we can learn frm it n move on. coz tis is e most valuable lesson tt we can learn.at least tis is wat i believe. coz i went thru tis stage. n seriously. we will emerge as a stronger individual respectively.
hopefully. after tis e whole band can bond 2 each other betta n be united as a whole. coz u will find frenship n form strong bonds durin e difficult times. though we missed our footin tis time round. i do noe tt w our changed wae of tinkin. we will be able 2 bring rjcsb 2 new heights. w lotsa hardwork n bondin of course. i remembered back in my sec sch life. durin my uniformed grp cca. we used 2 sae 'all for one. one for all'. i hav confidence tt we will be tis after we moved on. but first. lets give ourselves time 2 recover. coz we r pple w feelins. emotions. or else we wun be able 2 produce music n used music 2 tok 2 each other. jia you!
HAPPIE BIRTHDAE UNCLE HUI YAN! i luv u always.
hav a lunch outin w christine on wed. hav a reallie fun time whinin 2 her. hahaz. was reallie glad 2 c her. did sum work in sch b4 leavin to teach tuition. n due 2 e heavy rain at bishan rjc onli. i took e bus n took 30 mins 2 reach e interchange instead of e normal 12 mins. feel reallie stupid. my tutee is havin her exams now. i do hope tt she do well. or else i will be out of job soon.
2dae is band syf. my first band syf. my 2nd time sittin in as one of e mani audience 2 listen 2 e band play. e first time was durin Vox last yr at esplanade. left sch at 9 plus w yee keow n du yang 2 go 2 SCH so tt we can sit in e mornin session 2. n listen 2 other bands.
acjc was gd. mjc was vry gd. vjc was vry gd. njc was gd. jjc was nt bad even though their whole brass section onli hav 11 pple. can u imagine how's small is tt? tt was all i remembered after listenin 2 e first 8 bands in e mornin. includin 8 versions of singapore rhasphody. mj n vj sound vry solid. n their brasses r reallie vry gd. i was vry worried abt rj then. coz e image of mj playin n e music frm vj keep on playin in my mind. started 2 msg pple 2 wish them luck n cheer them on. n try 2 calm myself down.
afternoon session started. tpjc then rj. sittin in e audience. i was so scared tt i felt rather cold. can reallie imagine how e band felt rite at tt moment. e band came on stage. n i dun noe y. but i started 2 cry. maybe i m juz being over worried. but after hearin e singapore rhasphody i thot tt we sound gd. reallie. then came e chosen. felt reallie nostalgic. i can mentally insert myself inside e band. but truthfully i was rather thanxful tt i wasnt in e band. coz i wun be able 2 handle e stress n will start goin off tune which is my fav ting 2 do. tis decision is e best 4 both e band n mi. felt tt e chosen was gd 2. n there r reallie improvements since a tempo.
e rest of e bands juz passed by. n when it's tj's turn. i started 2 feel worried again. tj is gd. except 4 their clarinets. or one of them who keep on squeakin. other than tt i felt tt on e whole they r gd. juz tt i dun like their version of e chosen. w e piccolo n flute coverin e bassoon durin e bassoon solo.
e results r reallie shockin. when mj n vj didnt get gold w honours. i was reallie vry scared. i was waitin 4 e 'w honours' but it didnt come. n reality is thrown full fledge into e face. shall nt comment much on e results. except tt i felt one of e jc shldnt receive all e glory it had 2dae. coz they r reallie nt tt gd.
i felt vry apologetic 2wards those who were affected by wat i sae b4 e release of e results. e pain. e sorrow. e anger is clearly shown on faces. tears rolled down disappointed faces. n i feel reallie sad 4 us all even though i didnt play. coz i noe tis is e hardest fall ani of us hav ever experienced. n seriously i dun noe wat 2 do. coz i guess i didnt expect tis 2 happen.
e journey back 2 sch seem 2 be nv endin. e silence in e bus made e air seem heavy. when we reached ri. i didnt dare 2 go into e bandrm. blame it on my cowardice. i dun noe how 2 face my batchmates who r cryin. i cant sae tt it's ok coz it's seriously nt ok. i dun noe how 2 comfort them coz i nv experience tis in my life. those who did nt play hav 2 be strong 4 those who played. but cin others cry made mi feel vry sad n tears rolled down my cheeks while huggin my iris biao jie.
thanx hui yan uncle n nicole 4 e cd n e rubber band. i reallie appreciate them. thanx vry much.
i juz wanna sae tis tt we r all human beings. we all hav emotions. when faced w disappointment. it's ok 2 cry over it. be angree abt it. be regretful abt it. everywan needs time 2 grief. needs time 2 let out e stress n lighten e emotion burden. but ultimately when e grievin is completed. n e mind starts 2 tink. i do hope tt we can learn frm it n move on. coz tis is e most valuable lesson tt we can learn.at least tis is wat i believe. coz i went thru tis stage. n seriously. we will emerge as a stronger individual respectively.
hopefully. after tis e whole band can bond 2 each other betta n be united as a whole. coz u will find frenship n form strong bonds durin e difficult times. though we missed our footin tis time round. i do noe tt w our changed wae of tinkin. we will be able 2 bring rjcsb 2 new heights. w lotsa hardwork n bondin of course. i remembered back in my sec sch life. durin my uniformed grp cca. we used 2 sae 'all for one. one for all'. i hav confidence tt we will be tis after we moved on. but first. lets give ourselves time 2 recover. coz we r pple w feelins. emotions. or else we wun be able 2 produce music n used music 2 tok 2 each other. jia you!
dreaming awae at 11:17 PM
Monday, May 02, 2005
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
erhz. noting much 2 sae 2dae. was at home e whole dae. sleep like dun noe how long lahz. basically i m turnin into a pig. hahaz. didnt do much work. oh dear. i tink i m goin 2 get it 2molo. sighz.
was rather bored lahz. so decided 2 retake personality test again. n i didnt change much. hmmz. i mean i m still ENTP lehz.
i missed paintin. but i lost my touch le. sighz. coz i used 2 like 2 play w e colours 2 create sumting pretti. i like pretti tings. n i find e most beautiful tings in nature. i luv scenery. e skies. e landscapes. hahaz. hope i get e chance 2 travel ard e world 2 c more of tis beautiful tings.
| ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population. |
erhz. noting much 2 sae 2dae. was at home e whole dae. sleep like dun noe how long lahz. basically i m turnin into a pig. hahaz. didnt do much work. oh dear. i tink i m goin 2 get it 2molo. sighz.
was rather bored lahz. so decided 2 retake personality test again. n i didnt change much. hmmz. i mean i m still ENTP lehz.
i missed paintin. but i lost my touch le. sighz. coz i used 2 like 2 play w e colours 2 create sumting pretti. i like pretti tings. n i find e most beautiful tings in nature. i luv scenery. e skies. e landscapes. hahaz. hope i get e chance 2 travel ard e world 2 c more of tis beautiful tings.
dreaming awae at 10:26 PM
oh dear. i hav been goin 2 town 4 e past 2 daes. i feel so unlike myself. hahaz. well. 2dae or i shld sae yesterdae reached home onli like 11.40pm. which is like vry vry late. n worse still. my phone died on mi. sighz. shld hav juz charge it b4 leavin e house.
so i went 2 meet up w my darlin son 2dae 2 go shoppin at bugis. managed 2 get a few presenz. hahaz. n sum of them r reallie vry funnie. oh my. i cant stop grinnin. i wonder how will e recepients react when they get their presenz. hahaz. after tt went 2 orchard 2 meet up w xiang2. boon2. yii ean. n xiu li 2 hav dinner 2gather n buy xiu li's birthdae presenz. i m so happie 2 c all of them. even though i met xiang2 n boon2 e dae b4 at orchard 2. hahaz. had dinner at swensens n shared an 'earthquake' among us. reallie hav a great time laughin. coz we were tinkin of waes 2 leave wout payin while waitin 4 e person 2 return us our change. after tt went shoppin so tt xiu li can find her presenz. in e end we found ourselves in espirit in isetan. n we went into e fittin rm 2gather. while e gurlz take turns 2 change into e clothes. it's so funnie.
i m vry happie 2dae. i suddenly realise how much i miss tis type of interactions w pple. pple i noe. pple who like mi 4 who i m. pple whom i hav no prob cryin in front. n tokkin real rubbish w. my sis once told mi tt my life long frenz will most prob be e pple i meet in my sec sch daes. n i muz sae it's vry accurate. coz till date. they remained my closest frenz. even though we dun meet each other as often. but i can always tell them wat's on my mind. they pulled mi thru e most difficult period b4 O levels. all of them r smarter than mi. more hardworkin than mi. yet they dun mind teachin mi tings tt i dun understand. it's reallie hard 2 find such frenz in sch now. guess alot of pple r more worried abt themselves. n we r supposed 2 learn independence aniwae. hahaz. ard them. my clique. i feel so comfortable. so at ease. maybe tis is wat i need 2 enjoy life again. hmmz.
realise tt samuel is a vry 'feelin' person. hahaz. n samuel ur drawings r nt bad lahz. dun tink so lowly abt urself. u hav my stamp of approval. sumwan who studied drawin 4 10 yrs. n gave it up due 2 family pressure again lahz. hahaz. i realise my life is reallie full of irony. maybe u shld reallie pursue a career in e arts. since u can express urself well in words/writin n visual arts. juz a suggestion. dun tink 2 much into it. hahaz.
n horz. i m nt goin crazy lahz. juz fallin into trances every now n then. hahaz. n i tink havin a crazy senior will be quite interestin. dun u tink so? hahaz. then i can haunt u everydae w my great philosophy of life n sufferin. hahaz. bet u will enjoy it manz. okok. shall nt continue crappin.
i guess it's almost imposs 2 ask 4 a person 2 consider an issue frm all angles. i shall be truthful n sae tt i cant do it. reallie. no matter how hard i try. i can always c things frm 1 angle. n imagine how it will be like at e other angle. so 4 example. while almost everywan in syf i noe r discussin abt stress n e imptance of e band workin as a whole n how sum pple's attitude prob is goin 2 screw tings up. i dun noe wat i shld sae or feel or wat. coz puttin it simply. i nv experience all tis b4. yahz. juz like others wun be able 2 reallie understand or feel how it is on e other side of e river. i wun be able 2 understand or feel wat they r feelin now.
so maybe tis is wat they meant tt by havin more experiences in ur life. u understand life betta. hmmz. so tt u will be able 2 feel n tink frm all diff angles on a particular issue. then will u be able 2 sympathise w all e parties involved. wow. i feel so cheem. hahaz. goin thru a totally diff experience frm others is goin 2 cause one 2 feel alone n unluved. but then if there is a chance 4 everywan 2 experience sumting 2gather again. it shld be able 2 close up e rift n tings will be lookin betta. at least tt's wat i tink lahz. coz i nv apply tt in life b4. hopefully it does work.
2 all my batchmates n juniors in syf. jia you ok? dun tink 2 much. juz put in ur best. coz if u believe tt u can. u can. reallie. positive thots do work. so dun be stingent n use as much of them as poss. though u cant change how pple tink n do stuff. u can help them by showin them tt there's another wae. showin n nt forcin them 2 follow. coz ultimately whether they chose 2 do it or nt is their personal choice. n we shld nv interfere w others' personal choice. coz e consequences of e choice shld be bear by e person alone.
ok. enough bloggin. i m reallie tired. n my feet is reallie goin 2 fall off frm my body soon. i suddenly realise tt shoppin is reallie a gd wae 2 slim down. hahaz. but i hav no money liao. spent so much on birthdae's presenz. sighz. nvm. my birthdae is comin. hahaz. *hint*hint*
dreaming awae at 12:59 AM
Sunday, May 01, 2005
>The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with QuizFarm.com
took tis frm samuel's blog. n obviously. i m lousiest in music. hahaz. wat irony.
 |
Intrapersonal | 100% | ||
Interpersonal | 71% | ||
Verbal/Linguistic | 61% | ||
Logical/Mathematical | 57% | ||
Visual/Spatial | 57% | ||
Bodily/Kinesthetic | 50% | ||
Musical/Rhythmic | 50% |
>The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with QuizFarm.com
took tis frm samuel's blog. n obviously. i m lousiest in music. hahaz. wat irony.
dreaming awae at 12:58 AM
well. i m reallie happie 2dae. went out w my dear gabriel daddy. i miss u so much. hahaz. even though my feet were killin mi. i still luv my daddy. hahaz. meet up w daddy at coffee bean at j8. then bore him 2 tears w my life story. b4 we went 2 orchard w marlom. n loiter ard. accompanyin daddy 2 go shoppin. but unfortunately e shirt sold out. oh dear. meet alot of pple along e wae. frm e j1s 2 my x classmates. n pple was tinkin tt daddy is my bf. hahaz. so funnie. but e j1s arhz. all refused 2 believe in mi when i tried 2 pass daddy off as my bf. so bad. hahaz. went 2 hav dinner at pasta mania. i juz luv 2 help daddy spent money. so tt he can become bankrupt. hahaz. no lahz. i luv him so much. where got so mean. after tt spent e time sittin in wheelock n singin songs 2gather. i wanna go kbox!!! i m so deprived tt i tink i m goin mad. oh dear. i need 2 sing 2 feel alive. ok i m mad. ignore mi.
feel rather bad. tt my previous entry has caused sum other pple 2 feel guilty. oh dear. actuallie i m nt accusin aniwan. wat i wanna sae is tt all of us r humans beings. tt we need recognition n acceptance. when we failed. we need time. encouragement n support in order 2 move on. i dun noe lahz. sumtimes i wonder do i tok 2 much. sighz.
juz wanna sae tis. rjc is like a 'shock' 2 mi. u start 2 c different type of pple. what i experienced frm last yr till now is more than wat i experienced frm pri 1 to sec 4. more than 10 yrs worth of experience in juz 1 yr plus. e simple ting being tt i fall down alot of times. so mani times tt i m worried of my health. like real lahz. hahaz. i suddenly realised tt i lead a vry sheltered life in nanyang. yes there is competition. but i didnt c e faces of competition. i thot competition onli hav one face. i was like being pushed out of my comfort zone into e unknown. suddenly i hav so mani decisions 2 make. so mani choices 2 tink thru. so mani consequences 2 bear. i start 2 c tings in a new wae. i accept my choices. i accept my failure. n i move on. i guess tis is e greatest lesson i had learnt till now. i feel tt i m stronger now. seriously. i got past tt stage where i cared alot abt how pple tink abt mi. maybe except my shuai ge. whom dun noe my existence. sighz.
was vry happie when yee keow told mi tt she tink i become more matured. (feel so shy...hahaz) character wise i hav become wiser. yet sumhow i dun tink i fit in animore. i m gettin less n less willin 2 go thru e motions of being nice 2 everywan. do u noe how tirin it is 2 be nice? of acting frenz w everywan. i m tired. coz i realise tt sum pple r juz nt meant 2 be frenz w u. once u hav a fren. nv let her/him go. coz u will nv be able 2 hav them back after tt. sumtimes e wae other pple tink irritate mi. shall nt elaborate on tis. but basically to do w over simplification n being unrealistic. i hope they will always be protected n nt exposed 2 e real world. coz i dun tink they will be able 2 pick themselves up after fallin down reallie hard. when all e dreamz r shattered.
i feel reallie old. reallie tired. reallie empty. seriously i wanna leave tis place after A levels. if there is a chance i will grab it. i used 2 tell marlom tt his whole life is a joke. i realise tt my life now is also a joke.
2 mi. my band chapter hav alrdy ended. reallie. i m nt being depressed. angree or grumpy. i m being truthful. juz wanna 2 sae tt i luv all of u reallie vry much. esp those of u who hav been w mi thru diff period of time in my band life. u may nt noe it. but i will remember them. nowadaes when pple tell mi abt band. tok abt pracs. discuss abt playin. i dun feel aniting. coz i hav closed e chapter in my life. 2 mi. my greatest achievement till date is a result of my band life. learnin how 2 play an instru frm scratch is my greatest achievement. n though i didnt reach my ultimate goal. i m still proud of myself 4 comin thus far. e chapter hav being closed. n tuck inside my heart filled w fond memories. 2 rjcsb. all e best 4 syf. i will always be supportin u all.
i missed havin emotions 2 cloud my tinkin. coz i seriously cant find ani emotions within mi now. oh dear. i sounded so in need of help. nono. i m nt askin 4 help. i m juz saein wat's on my mind. pardon mi if i stopped speakin 2 u. pardon mi if i become silent. pardon mi if i m no longer as close 2 u. coz i hav changed. 2 become more anti social. 2 become more calm. 2 become more sure abt myself. 2 become more clear w e wae i c tings. i m so calm sumtimes i m shocked by myself. oh dear. n dun worry. i m nt facin an identity crisis. i m quite sure of who i m now than eva.
ok. actuallie i dun understand wat i m writin above. so if u dun too. then juz ignore mi ok. i m nt tinkin straight lahz. shall go 2 sleep soon. my feet is killin mi. sighz.
dreaming awae at 12:55 AM
