Tuesday, March 29, 2005
well. on mondae went back 2 sch after like so long. finally get 2 wear sch u again rite. hahaz. ok i m abit off. erhz. went 2 kcove in e mornin 2 pass e bugs bunny back 2 zong jin. after tt left sch 2 go 2 TTSH 4 appointment. tis is e first time i m actuallie early manz. hahaz. coz erhz. guilty lahz. everytime c doc also late. oopz. yahz. so reach at abt 8 plus. then went 2 take x rae. which is also my last time takin x rae le. at least 4 my pinkie. even e radiographer remember mi. oh dear. hahaz. he was like askin mi. "You again?" hahaz. i noe e procedures by heart liao. hahaz. noe how 2 position my pinkie. noe wat terms i need 2 sign against. hahaz. oh my. i tink i reallie treat tis accident like a learnin journey. hahaz. i m mad.
wait n wait n wait. thruout tis whole period there r more n more pple. then in 1 or those rms nearby. named 'procedures'. drillin sounds r heard. wow liao. immediately remind mi of e period of time when i was pushed into e operatin theatre's pre rm 2 hav my rite arm anaesthetic/plug redone. at tt time i was conscious le. coz after op n e nurses alrdy woke mi up. so while Dr Low. my anaesthetist was performin e 'electrical impulses' search 4 my junction of nerves. i heard drillin within e operation room. oh my. hahaz. real drillin u noe. hahaz. remind mi of construction site. n i was like wonderin tt patient inside muz hav a supreme big fracture manz. hahaz. need 2 drill 4 so long. e screws muz be supreme thick n long. eekz!
continue to wait until 10 plus b4 i get 2 c e doc. when my appointment is like 9.15 am. abit off arhz. n sum more e doc i c is nt my surgeon. it's one of e HOs i c durin my hospital stay. then it's like e moment i walked in wearin e sch u. she looked up n sae. 'i didnt noe tt u r frm rj'. hmmz. she turned out 2 be frm rj also. expected. hahaz. no big surprise. since like dun noe how mani rj students continue 2 study medicine. she is vry nice lahz. at least she didnt purposely induce pain in mi. hahaz. she peeled off my dressin. n immediately tell mi 2 go remove my stitches. i abit stunned. coz i was originally scheduled 2 remove my stitches on thurs at e polyclinic. then now she is like tellin mi 2 hav them removed immediately at one of e rms named 'procedures'. oh dear. tt's so nice rite. hahaz. she was askin mi 2 show her how much i can bend my pinkie n tryin 2 gauge e angle roughly. hmmz. then i was like askin her wat happen 2 Dr Cheng. n whether i need 2 c him. then she went 'oh. he will be here soon. he's on his wae. i tink he will want to c u. he wan to check on ur progress'. n i immediately went 'nono. i dun tink he wan 2 c mi. erhz. dun wan. dun wan. can i dun c him?' n obviously e answer is no. sighz.
so i went 2 hav my stitches removed. my 5 bright blue stitches tt had accompanied mi 4 11 daes. was vry scared. coz dun noe lahz. my courage juz disappear. sighz. then e nurse she cleansed my wound there. n she started to remove my stitches. n i tell u. it's painful. oh my goodness. e wae she did it was 2 use a pair of tweezer or dun noe wat u call tt. 2 pull e thread abit so tt e knot is above e skin n cut it. n it hurts. coz e thread will be strainin against my skin/flesh in my finger when she pull it. lucky 4 mi i only hav like 5 stitches. if i hav more stitches like e man i saw durin my hospital stay at e occupational therapy centre w at least like 20 stitches. i tink i wun tahan n will juz die there. after tt she uses tt spray ting tt make mi feel vry painful durin e removal of my left hand plug. but strangely it didnt hurt much tis time round. hmmz. aniwae tis spray is used 2 form a waterproof layer above e wound lahz. so i m onli required 2 wear my current supreme thin n small dressin 4 like 3 daes then i can remove it. n my hand can finally touch water le!!! i can shower w both hands le. yeahz!!! only pple who hav tried showerin w onli 1 hand 4 a few daes will understand wat i mean. n i noe tt my dear daddy gabriel does. coz he scalded his hand b4. luv u daddy!
so Dr Cheng finally arrive when he is 1 n a half hr late lahz. his first appointment supposed 2 be at like 9.00am. aiyohz. n i was sittin there behind tis man. in e 2nd row of seats. directly facin rm 17(HO) which is linked to rm 18(Dr Cheng). a patient went in 2 c him. so i was like readin my chem notes. then suddenly he open rm 17 door n was like saein ' where's tt girl? i wan to c her.' to e HO but he's alrdy at e door le. so basically everywan outside can hear him. then he was lookin out n scannin e pple. n didnt c mi! hahaz. coz i was being blocked by e man infront. who hav a even bigger head than jermyn. who always block mi durin band prac. resultin in mi nt able 2 c mr oura. so yahz. so when he spotted mi. he looked at mi n sae. 'i wan 2 c u now.' then i abit 'huh? where? here? in e middle of like alot of pple rite. oopz.
so he walked over 2 mi n asked mi 2 show him my pinkie. n ask mi 2 bend it. though he is quite satisfied w e progress he is still nt happie w e results. n he was like bendin my finger 4 mi again. n reallie vry pain. tt kind of nerve n bone pain. aiyahz dun noe how 2 describe. but reallie pain until u can cry tt kind lahz. n when he realise tt my face is like filled w pain. he sae 'u muz reallie push urself. or else u will nv recover ur full control over ur finger. i m nt comfortable w e idea of cin u 1 mth later. so i will c u 2 wks later. u muz continue to bend ur finger. i hav a patient who was in judo who was able to regain full control of his fractured finger. i expect u 2 do e same.'
so i went 2 pay n set up e next appointment. even e assistant who serve mi remember mi also. she was like askin mi. when's e operation? n i was like erhz. it had alrdy passed. i had op e dae after i c Dr Cheng. when she was his assistant n helpin him settle e admin stuff while he was attendin 2 e patients. e dae when i chose to go 4 operation. n once again i m stunned by e bill. oh well. wat do i expect? sighz.
went back 2 sch after tt 4 gp n chem prac. coz ms tang specifically asked mi 2 come back 2 sch 4 chem prac. but was like tokkin 2 birdie. ymw. jian hong durin e last part of prac lahz. then was tellin them tt i was e youngest patient in e ward. was also like e onli patient in e ward under e dept orthopedic surgery aka ORT. n i was actuallie quite spolit. coz i actuallie hav a nurse specifically attached 2 look after mi. n my most embarassin moment. when i was plannin 2 shift myself to e operatin bed n as i was under e effect of e anaesthetics administered. i actuallie sae outrite my thots: 'Can i juz roll over?' n those who were present in e rm laughed at mi. oh my. so 'throw face'. yahz. after tt went back 2 woodlands w yee keow n went 2 teach tuition. was quite horrified by my tutee's lack of foundation. n her concepts is quite mixed up though we covered e concepts in e previous tuition. n she was like commentin. tt 4 quite a few qns. she was nt able 2 answer them durin her test. but now facin similar qns. w mi sittin beside her. she is able 2 answer them. hahaz. she was saein. she shld juz bring mi into e examination hall w her. hahaz. taught her a maths n chem. logs n chem bonds respectively. hopefully i cleared up all e doubts she hav. hmmz.
supposed 2 hav chem test 2dae. but then. erhz. ms tang suggested tt i postponed it 2 2molo after sch at 11am. so yeahz! hahaz. i can study more. hmmz.
mr tay gave out e maths paper 2dae. n was like goin thru e paper in class lahz. when i m supposed 2 do it n hand it in 2 him 2 mark 2molo. so i m like goin 2 do onli 2nite? so i asked him shld i like leave e class. but he sae ' dun need. juz cover ur ears n eyes.' n i abit 'huh? cover ears?' but in e end i was studyin chem lahz. so reallie didnt listen 2 him at all. hahaz.
went 4 pe n played w e gym ball. hahaz. was quite fun lehz. esp e 'conveyer belt' when 5 gym balls r placed in a row n e gurlz took turns 2 be 'moved along'. hahaz. enjoyed it alot. hahaz. i like ms sim. hopefully she continue 2 stay in rj. sighz. napfa is comin. in late april. was wonderin will i be able 2 regain full control of my finger by then. esp w e fact tt e swell did nt come down after like so long. n my bruise is still so big. was wonderin whether my rite hand will be able 2 support my weight at all durin e inclined flex arm hang. nvm. i shld juz try 2 ask 4 an mc. but if i m able 2 do it. which means like if my swellin decrease n i get more control back. then i will juz take napfa lahz.
aniwae learned frm daddy gabriel tt e sch bought insurance 4 all e students. so went 2 check w ms sim n was referred to e GO. hahaz. n true enough. i can claim back my medical fees! yeahz! i wun be so broke after all. hahaz. but i need 2 collect all e receipts n claim at one go. which is quite hard. considerin e fact tt i m still goin back 2 c my occupational therapist n doc. but nvm. sooner or later. i will still get back e money! hahaz.
aniwae ebloggy recovered their old database which included my old blog n stuff. but dun noe wat happen. after i register a new account w them n try 2 transfer my old account 2 my new account. i cldnt find my blog at all. i m like how pissed. supreme pissed. tis prove tt my decision 2 switch blog server is a correct wan. even though i heard of sum reallie bad stories abt blogspot. but i still hav some confidence in it. hmmz.
last but nt least.
HAPPIE BIRTHDAE LILIAN!!! hahaz. luv u always.
dreaming awae at 7:31 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
erhz. actuallie i hav noting much 2 sae lahz. hahaz. erhz. ok maybe nt. hmmz. 2dae is sundae. so 2molo is mondae. n mondae equals to sch again. which is also equals 2 cin my og again. which is also equals 2 cin my classmates again (who will gladly murder mi 4 missin common tests). which is also equals to 1 dae b4 my chem common test. which is also equals to cin my doc again. yahz. hmmz. so 2molo is quite an excitin dae arhz. hahaz. but tt's abit out of e pt lahz. ok i m tokkin rubbish.
didnt go 4 band on saturdae. coz. i dun dare 2 do anitin 2 my finger now. except 2 do my exercise everydae. yahz. hmmz. once bitten twice shy. oh man. how i luv tis phrase. hahaz. hav been usin it like every poss moment. oh well. hahaz. once my doc give mi e nod 2molo...i will be practisin my bassoon again!!! yeahz! like finallie. i realise tt a tempo is like erhz. 2 wks awae? oh dear. i tink i m headin 4 self destruction. sighz. hahaz. guess it doesnt reallie matter lahz. coz i sorta quite happie w myself le. w my achievement of learnin how 2 play an instru. which was my greatest dream. coz. i nv grabbed tt opportunity 2 learn violin or piano when i was young. i was happily doddlin on my drawin paper. hahaz. but i stopped half wae lahz. was forced 2 make a choice. between my cca or drawin lessoon. sighz. stopped after learnin drawin 4 10yrs. guess i wasnt exactly tinkin clearly tt time. hahaz. but i still hope 2 learn piano one dae. hahaz. since i hav so mani frenz who r so qiang in piano. sure got sumwan who is willin 2 teach mi rite? hint*hint*
was vry clumsy. fell down 3 times. but lucky 4 mi. all resulted in bruises on my legs or abrasions. my hands r spared. cant believe tt i m tt clumsy. hahaz. 4 one of my fall. i actuallie ended up in e *proposin marriage* pose. hahaz. so funnie. summore in e middle of e coffee shop. n pple were like starin at mi. feel like how pai sehz. hahaz. but lucky tt i m nt a guy. or else e person in front of mi might tink tt i m proposin 2 'her'. if she is pretti then i hav notin 2 sae. wat if...she look like erhz. i dun noe lahz. hahaz.
haven been reallie studyin. was actuallie slackin my daes awae. oh well. my hols end 2dae le. sighz. will be havin sch liao. wanna c alot of pple. hahaz. n c how some of e j1s look in e rj uniform. hahaz.
dreaming awae at 10:10 PM
suddenly recalled tis song. frm a jap drama i watched back in my secondary sch daes. called 'Love Revolution'. a vry nice show. n e theme song is vry nice 2. called 'Kiss of Life'. vry catchy. sighz. w channel u advertisin it's new jap show 'Good Luck'. i cant help but tink tt i still luv jap shows best. hahaz. cant wait 4 e show 2 start airin.
Title: Kiss Of LifeArtist: Ken Hirai
Lyrics:
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
Yawaraka na shinjitsu wo kasanetai imasugu ni
Kotoba no yaiba ni makenai you ni kokoro ni masui wo kakeru
Kanjinai hibi wo oginau tame no eiga naraba nakeru noni...
Ima jinsei kaeru KISS ga shitai
* every day, every night, wanna kiss, want your lips
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
Kuchibiru wa kokoro wo kataru
any time, any place, wanna kiss, want your lips
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
Yawaraka na yorokobi wo kasanetai imasugu ni
Hoshii mono hitotsu te ni ireru tabi
Yume wa hoka ni aru to kizuku
Ima kokoro furuwasu KISS ga shitai
every day, every night, wanna kiss, want your lips
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
any time, any place, wanna kiss, want your lips
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
Yawaraka na yorokobi de uruoshite imasugu ni
Tameiki sae tsukenai hodo
Namida koboreru yoru wa Inochi wo fukikonde sono kuchibiru de
* repeat
every day, every night, wanna kiss, want your lips
Kuchizuke kara hajimeyou
Yawaraka na shinjitsu wo kasanetai itsumademo
erhz i dun study jap so dun reallie understand wat e words mean. but e song is nice!
dreaming awae at 10:05 PM
Thursday, March 24, 2005
congrats pple!!! hahaz. cts is finally over. yeahz! 4 u all lahz. 4 mi. it haven even started. oh well. i seriously feel like murderin tt lecturer 4 carboxylic acids. coz like i dun understand her notes. wateva lahz. finish chem le. congrats 2 mi also. yeahz. hahaz. i m like procastinatin studyin 4 anitin else coz i dun feel e need 2 study. bio like i onli read thru proteins n carbohydrates. sianz. oh well. i m nt aimin high. juz a C or D 4 chem will be nice! hahaz.
hmmz tokin abt cts remind mi tt i betta start emailin e teachers or cin them next wk 2 confirm when i m takin e tests. or else i will nv get down 2 study it. heard tt physics n chem r e hardest paper. well. like i always sae. physics is my curse. i juz cant do well in it. sighz. wateva lahz. since i m alrdy in remedial. hahaz. i dun c e light at e end of e tunnel. hahaz.
went 2 polyclinic 2dae. while waitin was readin e letter tt i was supposed 2 bring along w mi when i go 2 e polyclinic as instructed by e nurse of my ward b4 i discharged. then realise tt there was a mistake. coz i m supposed 2 take out my stitches next thurs 31 march. nt 2dae. 24 march. oh well. guess it doesnt matter. i need 2 change my dressin aniwae. coz my therapist tell mi tt every 2 to 3 daes hav 2 change e dressin. so went 2 change my dressin. alot of pple manz. i mean waitin at e polyclinic 2 c e docs. but horz. muz sae tt their efficiency nt bad u noe. i was served after waitin 4 35 mins when there r like 70plus towards 80 pple in front of mi. hmmz.
e nurse was vry nice. n i changed my dressin. it look different now again. hahaz. coz she place tis expandable gauze over my transparent bandage 2 secure it. e wae she place it is so interestin. hahaz. she hav tis tool tt she place e gauze over it tt will expand e gauze. after tt she twirl e gauze n it will fold e other wae n cover my injured area again. so fun. hahaz. learn new tings everytime i change my dressin. hmmz. n guess wat e whole dressin cost mi like $2? wow liao. i thot i heard wrongly u noe. oh well. hmmz.
now muz scold zy n marlom le. e 2 of u arhz. stood mi up rite. luckily i was clever enough 2 go home first after my visit 2 e polyclinic. or else i will be like real mad now. hahaz. but wat else do i expect. u all wanna relax after cts after all wat. hmmz. oh well. but e 2 of u owe mi a movie treat ok? i m like dyin 2 watch movies. but like hav no chance like tt. hmmz. n u all still owe mi money 4 *****. u all shld noe wat i mean arhz. dun act blur.
ok. shall start my whinnin now. sighz. realise tt coopin urself at home is nt a gd ting 2 do. seriously. u will start 2 find faults w everyting n everywan ard u. includin urself.
i wanna 2 SWIM.
i wanna 2 play badminton
i wanna 2 play bassoon
i wanna 2 shower usin both hands
i wanna 2 do everyting
i cant do alot of tings
great. juz great. i almost fall down juz now while showerin. luckily my left hand supported my weight. or else. i will be makin a trip down 2 e hospital again. coz i may hav fractured my pinkie again. oh well. tis time round surgery may nt even save my bones. hahaz. sound abit funnie. 4get it lahz.
i miss showerin w both hands. hav been showerin w 1 hand since 16 feb. which is like 1 mth n 1 wk ago le. my left hand is like my everyting hand. when i m spreadin butter on e bread. i hav 2 place e bread on e plate n hold e knife in my left hand. in fear of dirtyin my bandage or wettin it.
finger exercise nt gd 2dae. cldnt touch my palm again. maybe due 2 e fact i didnt do e exercise in e mornin. sighz. okok. i m slackin.
e followin is dedicated 2 my juniors...
Ju Yuan:
i wan u back in rj 2. n i reallie do hope tt u will receive tt phone call. u noe y e aj admin will sae such stuff 2 u? coz they hav seen past batches of students who hav done vry badly. n they wan e student cohort 2 do well so tt e sch will look gd. which sch doesnt? do u noe tt if u were 2 take a particular subj. n nt do well 4 it. u will be pullin down e sch's grade n make e sch look bad. which sch wan it? tis will reduce their future intake of students.
each sch hav each sch's wae of runnin it. rj is run in tis particular wae. aj will be run in another wae. juz e same tt ac will be run in another wae. we hav been so used 2 e freedom in rj tt it's hard 2 accept tt all tis r taken awae in another jc. so wat if there's no guys in aj dance? u can always be e first wan. n change history. tt's if u stay in aj. coz seriously i miss u lahz. n e fact tt u r e first person 2 sae tt i m pretti! hahaz. no lahz. becoz u r reallie a nice n sensitive junior. who always supported e og. but no matter wat happen. juz wanna 2 let u noe tt Aesapedeur welcome u 4eva. n if u eva need anitin. u hav mi. ok?
MAro:
dun reallie noe wat 2 sae. coz u r always so brave. n take everytin in ur stride. u r reallie a vry independent gurl who noe wat u wan. i sorta admire u in e sense tt u r vry confident n vry comfortable bein urself. unlike alot of pple. juz wanna sae tt w ur strong character i noe u will survive aniwhere in tis world. but humans r humans after all. if u eva feel tt u need help. juz tell mi ok? jia you!
guess tt's all 4 now. need 2 tok 2 sumwan else also. but apparently tt person is nt answerin mi. oh well. guess my eyes were reallie crossed 4 e past few mths. 2 tink tt i pride myself 4 being observant n analytical. how wrong can i be?
dreaming awae at 7:26 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
erhz. tryin 2 procastinate studyin maths n bio now. like i dun remember anitin abt chem now 2. oh well. guess i juz hav 2 re-read chem on sundae n do e class test tt ms tang gave us on mondae. shld help mi w my memory.
2molo will be e last paper 4 all e SO3 classes. which shld hav included mi. physics. which is my worst subj. my 'sure-fail' subj. hahaz. nvm. i will do my best nt 2 fail. i mean when i take it ard next wk time. will be takin out my bright blue stitches 2molo. hope tt i can take a pic of them b4 whoeva will be removin them remove them 4 mi. yahz. nice colour u noe. hahaz. hmmz. will i still need 2 wear e dressin after tt?
make betta progress 2dae lahz. can touch my palm le!!! yeahz. hmmz. but onli after doin e exercise 4 like 5 times like tt. but i still touched it le. at least i m assured tt next mondae when i c my doc i will nt be spanked.
i wanna get out of e house. sumwan save mi! i m cooped in e house until i cannt take it animore le!
dreaming awae at 6:54 PM
was blog surfin. JAE postins were out yesterdae. saw quite a few J1s in sch yesterdae when i was in sch. suddenly remember sumwan told mi tt e sch is filled w gloom yesterdae. as it contains 2 grps of pple. e J2s who r traumatised n totally stressed out by common tests n the J1s who failed 2 get into rj n r tryin all their means 2 appeal into e sch.
last yr. i didnt face alot of sadness as my whole og stayed in rj except 1 who went overseas. n qiu li who left rj at e end of last yr. as 4 my class. wat can i sae. SO3K basically juz stay where we r lahz. since all of us r either 6 pters or 7 pters. so was quite unaffected by it. but tis yr. i guess it's a diff story. sum of my 'xiao de' J1 in my og will be leavin mi. n i m goin 2 miss them. seriously. we hav so much fun 2gather. n i reallie dun wan them 2 leave. sighz. n there is basically notin i can do 4 them. sorta. Aesapedeur is sorta dyin down le. left onli a few embers here n there. unlike e brazin fire tt i noe rite at e start. oh well. i shldnt expect 2 much rite frm e start. since og is juz a wae 4 pple 2 start noein each other at e beginnin. when cca n class start 2 come into e picture. og will be lower down e list of priority. tt's juz normal. but... oh well. i juz hope tt if we eva hav animore og outin. i will get 2 c e complete Aesapedeur tt i used 2 c. used 2 scold 4 a total of 5 daes. used 2 laugh w 4 so mani wks. 2 all who r leavin. i will miss u all vry vry much. n if u eva need sumwan 2 tok 2. dun hesitate 2 call mi ok? coz u all r always my 'babies'.
heard tt dominic didnt get posted 2 rj. which is seriously vry dotz. nvm. i tink he shld get thru e appeal. coz like there's notin wrong w his grades wat. how on earth did he get posted 2 tj? when rj is his first choice? strange wat moe is doin nowadaes. might be due 2 technological errors. hope it will get rectify soon. coz dominic is such a funnie person. n he is e first junior who dare 2 make fun of mi. hahaz.
O2 starts 2dae. wonder how e rest of Aesapedeur is copin. hopefully all is well. sighz. wonder will e new J1s feel as welcomed or wat? but i seriously will miss my few juniors. hope tt they will be alrite n happie in e new sch. all e best dears.
dreaming awae at 1:01 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
went 4 my first occupational therapy session 2dae after being discharged frm e hospital. was almost late. hahaz. almost ok. aniwae they helped mi change my dressin 4 my wound. hahaz. e person who helped mi changed my dressin is tis guy on attachment lahz. so basically a student also. if i m nt wrong. he is studyin 2 be a occupational therapist. yahz. at e polytechnic. aniwae juz 4 ur info. if u wanna becom a therapist u need 2 go 2 jc. get ur A levels cert. b4 u can enrol in a polytechnic 2 study e diploma. yahz. learned tis when i was in sec 3. 3 yrs ago. when i was attached 2 National University Hospital (NUH). under work attachment programme also. was quite an eye opener experience lahz. 4 e first time in my life i worked in a ward. a surgical ward. observed how e nurses changed e dressings 4 all e different type of wounds. helped 2 change e linens n sheets of e beds. helped e patients 2 get water etc. follow e docs ard durin their mornin rounds. c other patients. c e vry sick patients in e icu. c e vry rich patients in e A class wards. n even get 2 go into e operating theatres. was like how excited then. can u imagine. hahaz. a silly. nonsensical gurl goin into e ot 4 e first time in her life. hahaz. so happie. but cldnt c much then. as we were nt allowed 2 go in2 e operatin rm itself. can onli stand outside e rm in e corridor n peeped inside. hahaz. saw 2 operations. 1 is 2 remove sum ulcer frm e mouth or sumting like tt. e other wan is 2 fix e aorta rupture. so it's like they opened up e patient ard e upper abdomen there. n u can c e layers of fats n blood lahz. hahaz. okok. abit gross. shall nt make aniwan puke. but reallie leave mi w a great impression. n i sorta wanna go into medical field even more.
e next experience was last yr. durin e nov n dec hols. was attached 2 TTSH 4 a total of 9 daes. suddenly i wished tt ebloggy wasnt down. coz i blogged my whole attachment. oh well. since i hav a vry high chance of nt gettin my archive back i guess i cldnt help it lahz. sighz. was attached 2 NNI. 1st 2 daes were w e neurology dept. went 2 e nicu (neurology intensive care unit). observed how e various life supportin machines work. n get 2 noe more abt wat e patients r sufferin frm. went 2 Dr Lee. our mentor. specialist clinic in e hospital n c how he interact w e patients n e various ailments tt e patients suffered tt will need his attention. frm stroke to epilepy to sum inheritable disease. yahz. alot lahz. after tt he told us more abt medical education in singapore. n he is one of e interviewer 4 e medicine interview 4 NUS.
e next 2 daes were spent attached 2 e neurosurgery dept. tis is e place where i observed sum reallie horrible surgeons doin surgery. hahaz. observed quite a few surgery. but all e surgery like take billion of yrs 2 complete wan. like at least 4 to 5 hrs. can go up to 10 hrs. hahaz. can u imagine standin there until like u wanna die? hahaz. first op tt i c was one tt is e removal of tumour frm e rite hemisphere of e brain. near e back of e head. so e patient's head was open above e neck. n u can c e skull n e tumour itself. which is quite bloody. hahaz. tis time round. unlike my first attachment at NUH. i was in e ot itself. standin like 1 metre awae frm e patient. i was able 2 c 4 myself how an ot look like. hahaz. wat r e tings u r nt supposed 2 do inside e ot. like cannt touch ani tings tt r covered w e green colour ot cloth. or e cloth itself. cannt touch e microscope. cannt touch e surgeons n nurses. coz they r wearin sterile clothin. if u touch them they hav 2 change again. n kana shouted at by e surgeons. excellent. but nonetheless it's a reallie great experience. n e other op resemble wat i termed as e 'pokin chicken wing 4 e bbq'. hahaz. it's a shunt op tt drain e excessive brain fluid frm e brain 2 e abdomen. shall nt describe e op here. hahaz. but was reallie quite enrichin 2 observe all tis ops. but i sorta promise myself tt i will nt put myself in e shoes of a patient coz i realise tt e surgeons which was written on tt piece of paper given 2 e patient may nt be e wan operatin on e patient after all. so horrifyin 2 tink abt it esp once u c how sum of them operate. hahaz. take one of e registra 4 example. his hands shake so much tt when he is drillin open e skull. tt drill actuallie shifted n skull pieces were like flyin all over e place. horrendous!!! now u shld understand y i wanna make sure i hav my own surgeon rite. once bitten twice shy. hahaz. n one more tings. being a nurse is sumtimes betta than being a doc. coz if u r like a senior nurse. or vry powerful nurse like e sister. even e head surgeons r scared of u. surgeons respect nurses alot. esp those vry experienced wan. but if u r a newbie. get ready 2 be scolded. coz time is vry impt in a surgery. if e surgery delayed 4 2 long. then e patient may face health probs due 2 e side effects of e anaesthetics. yahz.
aniwae went 4 my first outpatient occupational therapy. erhz. abit e expensive can. eekz. cost like $50 plus bucks b4 subsidy. but becoz i was hospitalised b4 n stayed at class C ward. so i m now under govt subsidy. but i still need 2 pay like $17 plus. eekz. wow liao. i m like seriously how broke now due 2 all tis. sighz.
encounter a vry irritatin incident while i was on my wae 2 TTSH. i was almost late like wat i said earlier. so i didnt take my medication at home. so i onli took my medication when i was inside e train. my medication r all painkillers. i hav no contagious or terminal illness. then tis idiotic woman who was sittin beside mi tink i m goin 2 spread sum incurable disease 2 her when she saw mi takin my pills tt she moved 2 e opposite seat. wow liao. tis is wat kind of discrimination! seriously feel like slappin her lorz. idiot! oh well. maybe she is juz lowly educated. but i nv encounter such discrimination b4. now i can understand how e nurses feel durin e SARS period. hmmz. n juz wanna tell her tt her make up is 2 thick. she look like a 30 plus tryin 2 be 20 plus woman. disgustin.
dropped by sch on my wae home 2 pass mr loh my mc. yahz. hahaz. n also 2 laugh at pple takin cts. no lahz. i where got so mean. i m such a nice person. hahaz. yahz. erhz. spoke 2 mr loh n even passed him my patient's copy of e surgical report. which he sae he will photocopy w e mc n pass them 2 my respective teachers. hope i get it back. it is quite interestin 2 read e supreme brief report. now i understand y everytime after an op e surgeons will camp infront of e computers in e ots 2 type stuff. hmmz. tok 2 mr benny lee briefly. after tt tok 2 mr tay in e canteen. i muz sae sumtin. i luv mr tay!!! hahaz. he is e most carin teacher i noe manz. so nice. he actuallie took e effort 2 ask marlom abt my condition. he is e onli teacher who noe wat happen 2 mi n wat treatment i m goin thru. wow! my idol frm now on. hahaz. such a nice teacher. where can u find another wan? hahaz. estella frm now on luv mr tay alot. hahaz. ok i m abit crazy. n tok on e phone w ms tang. will be takin e chem common test as a prac on next tues after my lesson end frm 3 to 5pm. tink i will juz die after tt. hmmz.
marlom is saein tt he wished tt he break his finger also. thus can dun take common tests. i m abit e dotz lahz. if u wanna go thru e whole ordeal go ahead. i m nt stoppin aniwan. but seriously. i rather hav a perfect set of hands w no broken bones then 2 go thru all tis. i dun even wanna look at all e receipts tt TTSH issued 4 mi since my visit 2 e specialist clinic. my op n hospital stay cost money too. my therapy session cost money too. remember my first pay check? well i m like left w nt much le. all of them spent on my medical fees rite. yes. u will ask. wasnt my parents suppose 2 pay 4 mi. well let mi tell u. tt's abit e imposs. coz my dad is debt ridden. so my mthly allowance is like all he can give mi 4 tt mth. usually he will borrow $100 to $200 plus frm in a mth. how 2 ask him 4 $ when he hav 2 borrow $ frm mi. my mum work part time. so basically sumtimes she hav abit of money. sumtimes she dun. i hav a older bro who is a teacher. but he need 2 help 2 pay 4 my dad's stuff also n contribute 2 e house expsenses. how 2 ask him 4 anitin le? n my sis is dun even need 2 sae wan lahz. she arhz. is married now. w a baby hospitalised coz she is premature. do u noe how much it cost or nt? so now u noe y i wanna teach tuition so badly. being poor reallie mean being poor. n there used 2 be a sayin tt one can die but one cannt fall sick. n mine is reallie a vry 2pid wae 2 'fall sick'. fractured by a normal captain ball durin pe lesson. how rubbish can my life be.
undergoin therapy is no fun. yes. finger therapy sound abit funnie. but tt's becoz u hav 2 set of perfectly workin well fingers. which can move accordin 2 ur wishes. well. my pinkie now is nt listenin 2 mi as much as it used 2 be. becoz it had been bandaged up 4 2 long. it's vry stiff. basically i 4got how it feel like 2 ask my finger 2 bend le. it's juz like tt piece of ice cream stick tt used 2 support it. it cant bend on its own. i hav 2 use my left hand 2 push it down. n w e jolt of pain come e realisation of feelin within my pinkie.
after e op. i cant even straighten my pinkie on my own. even till now. it's nt perfectly straight. i hav 2 use my left hand 2 push it straight after each time i bend it durin e exercise. my lowest joint is normal. i can bend it frm 0 degree to 90 degree. but my fractured joint n e highest joint r like nt under my control. no matter how hard i bend. exert e force 2 bend my pinkie n usin my highest level of tolerance of pain. it juz refused 2 bend more than 55 degree. so now my pinkie is cant even touch my palm now. u noe how irritatin it is when u noe u r supposed 2 be able 2 do it yet u cant?
e other exercise is e 'hooked fingers'. supposed 2 make ur 4 fingers into hooks. which required e 2nd joint which is also my injured joint 2 be 90 degree. until now i can onli manage a mere 40 degree. excellent.
e last exercise which i dun even need 2 try since i cant do e hooked fingers is e clenchin of e fist. sound like a vry normal ting 4 ani wan 2 do. same 4 mi. as least 4 my left hand. but i cant do it at all. so i still cant sae e pledge lahz. basically.
there is a constant need 2 massage e swollen part of e finger. where all e stitches r 2 relieve e stiffness of e finger. thus makin it easier 2 move e joint. 4 e past few daes hav been experiencin sudden jolt of pain which come at e most unexpected times. even w e painkillers. i feel e pain sumtimes. n if i were 2 take my medication late. e pain will come back. e tings tt i used 2 take 4 granted r wat i m strivin 2 recover my control over now.
i hav a quite big patch of bruise under my collar bone. n my rite arm ache constantly. maybe becoz i rarely used my rite arm nowadaes tt's y i dun complaint abt as much as my pinkie lahz. oh well. shall end my whinin here. hahaz.
n juz wanna wish everywan who is havin common tests now. ALL THE BEST! hahaz. i m sure tt u clever pple will be able 2 score As n Bs rite? hahaz. Jia You!
n wanna wish my dear Nanny a HAPPIE BELATED BIRTHDAE! sorrie sorrie. will try 2 get ur presenz asap. hahaz. n wanna wish my mortals Rina n Woon Li HAPPIE BELATED BIRTHDAE too. oopz. hahaz. alot of pple birthdae arhz. y all concentrate in march? hmmz. hahaz.
dreaming awae at 10:55 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2005
aniwae my mama was askin mi wat i wanna hav 4 dinner yesterdae after i reached home. i was at a loss of tings 2 eat. hahaz. tink e hospital food make mi lose my cravin 4 food overnite. oh well. aniwae my mama cooked tis dish of veg which seriously remind mi of e hospital veg tt i ate 4 dinner e dae b4. eekz. hahaz. i m still quite traumatised.
aniwae i realised tt e 3 docs who were there 2 c mi r actuallie HO. which means house officer lahz. which means they juz graduated frm med sch. so they r doin their housemanship n followin Dr Cheng ard. yahz. n i m on mc until next next mondae. 28 March when i c Dr Cheng again. e mc is issued by one of e HOs. hahaz. oh well. i can mug in peace then. hahaz.
will need 2 go back 4 my therapy on tues at ttsh. then they will help mi clean up my wound n give mi new dressin also. then still need 2 go e polyclinic 2 remove my stitches on thurs. wonder whether pain or nt. hmmz.
oh well. shall go n do my finger exercise now. n try 2 bend my pinkie. but my pinkie n part of my palm still vry swollen lehz. hmmz.
dreaming awae at 11:27 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
hahaz. ok pple. i m back!!! n obviously nt alot of pple miss mi. oh well. it's ok. i miss myself can liao. hahaz. hmmz shall tok abt my interestin 1st hand experience at tan tock seng hospital. hahaz.
erhz. was late 4 my dae surgery admission time slot lahz. supposed 2 reach by 8.15 am but i reached onli at like 8.32 am. so when i finalie get 2 register n stuff was like 9 am. was accompanied by my papa n a nurse inside 2 get ready 4 e operation. wow liao i tell u arhz. it's reallie an eye opener. coz i nv need 2 get naked like in front of a stranger b4. hahaz. oh dear. it sound so porn. but it's true. hahaz. there's tis lady who hav 2 help mi change totally frm my own clothes 2 e operatin attire. which is like basically wearin notin lahz. yes. i still get 2 wear underwear. but i cannt wear a bra. n e operating dress is like juz a piece of cloth tt hav sleeves n tied at e back. onli at e top. behind e neck. like i m still naked? eekz!!! luckily she let mi wear an robe on e outside. or else. eekz!!! hahaz. ok i m abit e over reactin. but hello? tis is e first time in my life can. hahaz.
so after i changed i was juz lyin there. like waitin 2 die like tt. no lahz. juz jokin. hahaz. tis is e preparatory ward 4 surgery. aniwae e nurses were like busily takin my blood pressure. my temperature. then suddenly got tis nurse who is on e phone standin infront of mi. then she was saein sumtin like tis lahz. "u wan tt lim chee li 2 go into ot now izzt? okok. i will send her there asap..." i abit e stunned rite. huh? i thot e op is at 12?? y suddenly so fast? then i ask e nurse who was takin my blood pressure. 2 help mi check 4 my operation time rite. n she browsed thru my file. n tell mi. oh it's at 9.30 am. hahaz. great manz. i m like goin into e operatin theatre in 15 mins time wout ani mental preparation. excellent. but e prob was tt i m underage n they need my papa 2 sign tis letter of consent which also need 2 be endorsed by 1 of e surgeons who r operatin on mi. so i was lyin there. cin notin clearly coz i m nt allowed 2 wear my glasses. nt even allowed 2 tie my hair w my own rubber band. hav 2 use tt kind of red colour band which hurt my hair alot. wearin a cap tt resemble a shower cap n waitin 4 e surgeon 2 come. i expected my doctor. then suddenly tis guy whom i cant c is who. appear in front of mi n started 2 take out my x raes 4 my papa 2 c. n explained 2 him vry briefly wat e op will be doin 2 mi. abit e off lahz. then i was like wonderin. who e hell is operatin on mi. coz i remember frm my attachment last yr tt though e surgeons tell u they r operatin on u rite. most of e time. they r juz there supervisin. or doin e more impt procedures. while e rest r done by some other pple wan. whose skills sumtimes r reallie horrible. eekz!!! oh dear. i was so worried lahz. then my papa signed e paper. sae bye2 2 mi n left. i was seriously comtemplatin whether i got make a mistake or nt...
e nurses started 2 push mi into e corridor leadin 2 e operatin theatre. n i was lyin there. starin up at e lights lahz. recallin tt 3 mths ago i was walkin down e same corridor. on my wae 2 witness sum quite gory brain surgery. hahaz. excellent manz. now i m lyin instead of walkin. wat irony. hahaz. cldnt reallie control my curiosity so i asked e nurse. who was e doc who tok 2 my papa juz now. n she sae tt's Dr Ernest Kwek. n i abit e feelin relieved rite. coz at least i noe who he is. he was e registra i saw 2 wks ago. hahaz. then i asked who is e surgeon operatin on mi. then she sae. oh it's Dr Mathew Cheng. ok. i m worryin 4 like notin lahz. i got back my surgeon. hahaz.
so i reached e operatin prep room. e ot in ttsh is structured tis wae. there is e operatin room n there is a store rm behind it where medical supplies n stuff r stored. n tis rm is shared between e adjacent operatin room. then in front of e operatin room is a preparatory operatin room. which is smaller in size than e operatin room. yahz. so i was wheeled into e pre rm n was abit e left alone. hahaz. ok imagination run wild once more. hahaz. no lahz. aniwae. my anaesthetist come n tok 2 mi. if i m nt wrong. her name is Dr Low lahz. so yahz. she was like tellin mi tt they need 2 put mi on drip beside e mask they will be givin mi later. also. under my surgeon's request she will be insertin a tube (which i 4got call wat) into my rite chest juz below my collar bone in which anesthesia will be injected into it n will numb my whole rite arm after e op. so tt i will nt feel so painful n can start movin my pinkie again. as soon as poss. but she cant do it when i m under anaesthestics coz tis procedure involved my nerves n may damange my nerves unknowingly. so i need 2 be fully awake when she does tt. excellent. i got myself nt 1. but like 2 major needles rite. sighz. then thruout e whole process while she was tokkin 2 mi. there's another anaesthetist who was like tyin a rubber ting around my lower arm. n pattin my left hand 2 try n c where is my vein so tt they can put e drip ting. she was commentin tt i hav a vry small vein. oh well. i cant help it rite. so yahz. she took tis needle n insert there lahz. erhz. was quite pain at first. then she took it out again. coz nt successful. then insert 1 more time. e pain was there again. but after a while then nt reallie vry painful le. n i was like. erhz. is it in there alrdy? then she happily tell mi. yahz. it's inside alrdy. n show mi summore. ok. gd rite.
so Dr Low get 2 work lahz. she make mi turn my head 2 e left. now i understand y i m like basically undressed. coz she need 2 remove e robe n dress 2 clean e area under my collar bone. then she place my rite hand next 2 my head. after tt. she drew sum markin b4 she placed e green colour ot sterile cloth over my head. n poke sumtin into mi rite. it's a reallie funnie feelin. coz if i m nt wrong it's connected 2 tis machine which send electrical impulses. yahz. so she was tellin mi she is searchin 4 my nerve or junction of nerves tt control my whole rite arm. so she need 2 send impulses 2 c whether she is at e correct junction or nt. n my hand will like move due 2 e impulses. after tt i kinda 4got wat she was doin le. yahz. but basically there's a plug where they can inject stuff also. so i got myself 2 plugs 4 anaesthestics.
they wheeled mi into e main operatin theatre after tt. n i heard my doc's voice. at least i can recognise his voice though i cldnt c anitin. hahaz. i hav 2 shift myself over 2 e operatin table/bed. it was quite hard lahz. coz i was alrdy under anaesthestics le. was feelin quite weak lahz. so i was debatin shld i juz roll over. hahaz. abit e off lahz. wasnt reallie tinkin clearly le. after tt i can onli remember i lied down. e rest was juz a blank. hahaz.
e next ting i noe was tt i was in e recovery rm n e nurses r callin mi 2 wake up. i abit e dun wan 2 wake up can. so nice 2 continue 2 sleep. hahaz. they were like tellin mi tt e op finished le. n e first ting tt came 2 my mind was tt i feel vry hot. hahaz. abit off arhz. after tt they took my bp n temp again. n ask mi whether i feel ani pain. n u noe wat. my pinkie hurt lorz. reallie. i shld feel numb. but it hurts. e nurses gave mi pain killers. but it still hurts. so after tokkin 2 Dr Low. they send mi back into e pre rm again. hahaz. she asked mi whether i feel ani numbness in my rite arm. n as i was unable 2 anser her. she helped mi do a little test. she dabbed sum alcohol on a cotton swab n dab it on various pts of my arm. n realise tt onli a small part of my arm was numb. but e most impt finger part was nt numb. oh dear. so she took out e tube . after tt she repeat e procedures again n tried 2 find my junction of nerves. after she found it. she injected e anaesthetics straightawae wout e plug. so e next ting i noe was complete numbness of my rite arm. i feel noting at all.
was send back 2 e recover rm. was feelin vry giddy lahz. after awhile they decided 2 send mi up 2 e ward. hahaz. so i was wheeled into e ward n hav 2 shift myself 2 e bed again. which is harder. coz my rite arm was basically useless. juz a heavy burden. they hav 2 put my arm in a sling 2 prevent it frm knockin into anitin. coz even if it did. i wun noe. coz i cldnt feel anitin wat. was feelin vry drowsy n giddy n wanna vomit. wanna go toilet. but was so weak tt i hav 2 use e 'mobile toilet'. eekz. hahaz. so i was driftin in n out of sleep lahz. my papa saw mi n told mi tt e surgery was finished by 12. but i was onli wheeled inside e ward at like 2pm. when i was driftin in n out of sleep. there was a total of 4 nurses who tok 2 mi. n tell mi wat 2 do. but e prob was they all tell mi diff tings. hahaz. abit e hard 2 follow instructions arhz like tt. in between my bp n temp was measured like dun noe how mani times. n they keep on askin mi whether i can feel ani pain. whether my rite arm was still numb. but u noe wat. i juz wanna 2 sleep. hahaz. abit ungrateful arhz.
finallie woke up ard dinner time lahz. went 2 e toilet. e real toilet myself. e nurse was like askin mi whether i can walk. hahaz. was able 2 walk but abit unstable lahz. feel vry lightheaded. e plug in my left hand hurt abit lahz. coz e needle is like there. hahaz. keep on pokin mi when i move my wrist. e dinner is ok lahz. e fish is ok. but e veg is reallie abit gross. n i start 2 be able 2 feel my rite arm le. tried 2 study chem but oh well. was feelin reallie tired. so was asleep like 8 plus after my papa n mama left. was woke up by sumwan screamin ard 10 plus. no i m nt tryin 2 scare u. but reallie got tis auntie screamin lahz. in pain n anguish summore. but like i sae i was 2 tired 2 care abt her so i continued 2 sleep. hahaz. at 1 plus was woke up by e nurse 2 take my pain killer which is juz panatol. hahaz. abit off lahz. then thruout e nite there's tis nurse who regularly check my bp n temp n ask mi whether my finger hurt. hahaz. i m so pampered. n she like basically camp near mi lahz. hahaz.
woke up at like 6.45 am. i tink i m e earliest patient 2 wake up lahz. tink i sleep abit e 2 much le. so went 2 wash my supreme oily face n brush teeth. hahaz. 4got 2 brush e previous nite. was slackin ard. tried 2 read my alkane n alkene notes n wait 4 my papa 2 come. was chattin w one of e aunties near mi lahz. after tt take a stroll ard e ward n realise tt i m like e youngest patient there. hahaz. papa brought newspaper 4 mi n left. so i was like readin e newspaper when e breakfast came. n 3 doctors suddenly appeared b4 mi. hahaz. n like i dun recognise them except 4 one of e lady doc who came 2 c mi e dae b4. so i was like. huh? u mean i changed my doc again? hahaz. then they were like askin mi whether Mr Cheng had come 2 c mi. oh ok. at least i still haven change doc. hahaz. n how i feel n stuff. whether i can feel my rite arm etc. so my doc appeared juz as they finished askin mi qns rite. hahaz. great timin. he was briefin them on my case n show mi my x rae after e op where i can c e screws tt were inside lahz. erhz. e screws r like as thick as a 0.5 mm lead like tt. yahz. tt thick onli. hahaz. so he ask one of doc 2 help mi remove my external bandage n revealed my pinkie. hahaz. which is in a white colour bandage. w a small stretch of stained blood. then my doc was like saein "now ur finger look even straighter than b4". hahaz. abit off arhz. then he was askin mi 2 start bendin it n i was like huh? so fast? u sure or nt? n he give mi no room 4 bargainin. n start 2 bend it 4 mi. wow liao pain u noe. pain. vry pain. n i tink my face shows it lahz. then he make mi hold my quite successfully curled pinkie there. after tt he ask mi 2 relax n let my pinkie straighten again. my face show my relief manz. but he dropped e bombshell n ask mi 2 bend it 1 more time. my horror is shown clearly on my face. n i tink e 3 other docs who were there was pretti amused by mi. hahaz. oh well. but i did bend it again lahz. n Dr Cheng was tellin mi tt e next time he c mi. he wan my pinkie 2 be able 2 touch my palm on my own. or else he will spank mi. erhz...but at least he tell mi i can go home e next dae!
aniwae e breakfast is horrible. eekz. it's tt kind of nutritional rice tt taste like notin. eekz. wow liao. hav 2 force myself 2 eat lorz. eekz. went 2 e 7-11 downstairs 2 buy pocky n sum cookie bar. coz reallie cannt take it lahz. after tt was slackin ard when i was accompanied downstairs 2 undergo occupational therapy. was like sittin there n waitin lahz. was watchin tis therapist assistant helpin a patient w a surgical wound on his rite wrist. a vry long wound. quite bloody also. clean his wound. then e assistant is a rookie lahz. so was quite nervous. so there was tis lady who was like directin him. her name is Teo Sing Hwee. senior occupational therapist. wow. hahaz.
i was attended by another therapist called Carol. hahaz. a vry nice lady. vry soft spoken lahz. but didnt reallie do much. coz i wasnt used 2 my pinkie n she dun dare 2 induce pain in mi unlike my surgeon. hahaz. she gave mi tis worksheet tt i m supposed 2 follow w all e finger exercises written on them. yahz. by lookin at e amt of exercise i need 2 do. i tink i need 2 spent a few hrs each dae lorz. hmmz. went back 2 e ward after tt n juz nice 2 eat lunch. erhz. e lunch arhz. was quite bad also lahz. hahaz. e fish is so tough tt i cant cut it at all. hav 2 use e spagetti method. 2 twirl e fish w e fork 2 break it into pieces. was slackin after tt. readin newspaper n tryin 2 study. then marlom n yee keow come n c mi. hahaz. like finallie got sumwan come n visit e lonely n bored mi. i had a white rabbit as my mate. hahaz. miss my muackz n blue2 so much. sighz. but my mama dun let mi bring them w mi. sighz. e nurse helped mi changed my dressin n i saw e 5 bright blue stitches. hahaz.
my mummy came after tt n marlom n yee keow left. went 2 shower. but cldnt wash my hair. oh well. after tt my mummy left n i was all alone again. thruout tis period was like helpin various patients do stuff lahz. coz i was like e most mobile out of them all. hahaz. i even helped a patient drink water. hahaz. one of e nurse told mi tt i look juz like a nurse assistant. hahaz. was nappin after tt. coz seriously. hospital induced sleep lahz. hahaz.
woke up ard 5 plus. so was rottin ard n started 2 study arenes. hahaz. then my dear juniors came 2 visit mi. arhz. so nice rite. hahaz. samuel. dawnie. yu kit. siok teng. christine. jermyn. n dominic. hahaz. they brought mi red roses n a card. hahaz. luv them so much. was tokkin rubbish 2 them lahz. hahaz. n jermyn look reallie retarded. but i did hav fun. hahaz. n they were like tryin 2 scare mi which obviously didnt work lahz. hahaz. my dinner arrived n they actuallie stayed 2 watch mi eat. hahaz. now u noe how i feel abt hospital food. even sumwan like mi who is nt vry picky abt food. hospital food make rjc canteen food look heavenly. hahaz. n e nurses were tellin mi tt e red roses look reallie nice. i tink they thot my bf gave it 2 mi wan. oh well. i dun hav a bf but i hav great juniors. hahaz.
after tt was quite slack lahz. continued 2 study arenes n went downstairs 2 buy newspaper. was readin n readin until 9 plus. then brushed teeth n get ready 2 sleep. but dun noe y lehz. cldnt sleep. so was tossin n turnin until ten plus when e nurse came 2 take my bp n temp again. i took like billion times of bp n temp thruout tis few daes. managed 2 fall asleep. but was woke up by sumwan screamin again. tis time round a diff person lahz. another auntie who was screamin in mandarin tt she is sufferin frm a lot of pain n tt she is goin 2 die. n she wanna c her daughter. wow liao. it's like how irritatin lorz. she screamed n complaint 4 a total of 1hr plus almost 2 hrs. how i noe. coz i cldnt sleep wat. she is so noisy. i almost feel like stranglin her. dotz. even e nurses were like cannt take it liao lorz. when she finallie shut up. i finallie get 2 sleep at 2 plus am.
my daddy woke mi up tis mornin at 7 plus. hahaz. n i can eat fishball noodles instead of e hospital breakfast which is 1 piece of carrot cake 2dae. papa left shortly. i onli like start eatin a few mouthful b4 2 out of e 3 docs who came 2 c mi appeared in front of mi. n they were like askin mi e same qns again lahz. n they ask mi 2 show them how much i can bend my finger on my own. n after i show them. one of them commented tt maybe i shld start practisin b4 Dr Cheng come n c mi. oopz.
was readin newspaper when e senior therapist i saw yesterdae appear. hahaz. she was like massagin my pinkie 4 mi n bendin it 4 mi as part of passive therapy. then she further fine tuned my finger exercises n tell mi wat 2 do. hmmz. a vry nice person. hahaz. n we were chattin lahz. then she asked mi wat is my hobby. n i was like i dun hav much time 4 hobbies but i play e bassoon. n she went "oh then u need 2 gain control of ur finger even more". i was like huh? wow nt bad manz. u actuallie noe abt such an obscure instru? after i asked her. she told mi tt she was frm nyjc. n she was frm band. n still in band now. but a CC band which i tink stand 4 community centre. yahz. n she is a french horn player. no wonder she noes wat is a bassoon. hahaz. made alot of progress 2dae compared 2 yesterdae. my pinkie is almost straight n i can bend more. hahaz. aniwae. e therapists they use tis kind of cute small movable potractor 2 measure e angle of my pinkie n stuff. quite interestin lahz. she compliment mi. hahaz. i feel so proud rite. n she was like saein she hav confidence tt i will be able 2 gain full control of my pinkie vry soon. as long as i keep up w my progress. arhz. i cant wait 2 use my pinkie again. hahaz.
as i was goin 2 be discharged. e nurse helped mi remove my plug frm my left hand. e procedure is like even more painful than puttin it in. e removin of e needle was ok. but when e nurse sprayed a liquid which is so cold tt it become so painful on e wound. pain pain. but after tt it was ok le.
after tt my mummy came lahz. n i finished my lunch. went 2 collect my medication frm e pharmacy. which is basically painkillers lahz. n went back 2 change back 2 my own clothes. packed my stuff. n discharged myself. hahaz. yeahz!!! went home 2 shower n wash my hair. like finallie. so itchy. hahaz. feel so clean. hahaz. n i finallie get 2 c my muackz n blue2. hahaz. hug them 2 sleep. yeahz!
dreaming awae at 12:59 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
ok. tt's it. i m goin 4 operation le. sighz. it's all my fault actuallie. reallie. all my fault. 4 wks ago i fractured my pinkie. 3 wks ago i went 2 c my orthopaedic surgeon 4 e first time. e x rae was fine. everyting was ok. my finger is straight. n e distance between my fractured bone n my original bone is acceptable. 2 wks ago. i saw another doc. a registra. n e x rae look juz like e wan i took a wk ago. so i was happily goin ard my normal routine. n started 2 go 4 band rite. n start usin my pinkie 2 play bassoon. coz i thot w e splint it's ok. how wrong can i be. oh how wrong. becoz of my impatience. my lower bone shifted. n my fractured bone shift w it. so e dist between them is still acceptable. my fractured bone even start growin back le. juz tt now e original bone is bend outwards. if u was 2 look at my finger now. it resemble a bowed leg. n e cause of tis. becoz i hav been pressin down my pinkie. tis cause my bone 2 start movin. hence in its current state.
i was late 4 e appointment. coz left band late. was rushin ard w a bassoon. ran up (or try to) e stairs frm e mrt 2 e hospital. then e escalator. then 2 e x rae dept. took e x rae. then ran 2 e clinic. n i was still 25 mins late. dotz. sighz. get 2 c e doc. Dr Mathew Cheng tis time round. he removed my bandage. give mi e splint as a souvenier. n bend my pinkie 4 mi coz my finger is so stiff. e sudden jolt of pain is horrible. he look at my finger. look at my x rae. n sae e sentence he told mi 3 wks ago. "u hav 2 make a decision todae". n i noe i hav 2 go 4 operation le. coz lookin at my finger. it look reallie vry bad. my impatience hav cause mi so much more probs. sighz.
i hav 2 options.
option 1: dun go 4 op. let my finger stay e wae it is. as crooked as poss. then undergo therapy 2 start movin it again. after e bone fully grow back. it will be permanently like tt.
option 2: go 4 op. he will cut open my pinkie. open e skin up. saw off e growin back part between e fractured bone n e original bone. adjust both bones 2 be straighter n screw e fractured bone 2 e original bone w 2 screws. e stitch will be removed 2 daes later. n i will undergo therapy 4 e next few daes. will be hospitalised.
my choice? option 2. u can sae i m vain. which i nv deny. but 4 e fact tt my finger look vry crooked n i cannt stretch it 2 play bassoon. it's sumtin i dun wan. furthermore i may move my bone again. then it become worse again. Dr Cheng was like saein. if he noe it's goin 2 turn out like tis. e previous time he wun give mi e chance 2 chose n straightawae sent mi 4 op. sighz. tis time round e op is more difficult. n i will be fully anaesthesized. even though e affected region is so small. i m reminded of e promise i made 2 myself. tt i will nv place myself in e shoes of a patient undergoin surgery after my attachment at NNI (national neuroscience institute) last yr where i witnessed sum reallie horrendous operation due 2 e imperfect skills of e surgeon. now c wat happen. sighz. under anaesthesia i wun noe wat's happenin. tt's abit e scary 2 tink abt it. lucky 4 mi. mine is juz a small bone nt my brain. hahaz. i can still recalled almost witnessin sum patient's brain being sucked up tis tube tt is used 2 drain e excess blood. oh dear. quite gory. shall nt make u all feel uncomfortable. i noe how e operatin theatres look like in tan tock seng. noe how mani pple will be inside e theatre. noe how e machines work. noe how i will be attached 2 all e tubes n stuff. even can picture how i will look like. hahaz. tis is e plus pt n also e minus pt if u eva go 4 attachment at hospital. hahaz. oh well. shall stop scarin myself.
well. shall tok abt happier times. hahaz. erhz. mondae i spent e whole dae slackin lahz. hahaz. was online n rottin 4 quite sum time. went 2 teach tuition in e afternoon n receive my first pay check of $160. yeahz! feel so happie. hahaz. i finallie hav sum money. hahaz. went home after tt. n read story bks rite. oh dear. i seriously luv 2 procastinate lahz. n i m nt denyin it. hahaz.
went 2 sch quite early lahz. went 2 library n started 2 do my physics past yr common test. was quite horrified by my lack of knowledge. coz i got like how mani billion qns wrong. sighz. went 2 hav lunch w zy n marlom. n marlom as usual was e latest 2 reach. hahaz. after tt went back 2 sch 4 physics remedial w mr benny lee. n realised tt 2dae remedial is a continous frm mondae's wan. oh dear. sighz. oh well. guess there's notin much we can do either. i muz do well 4 physics. n prove 2 myself tt i m nt hopeless in physics. well. at least try 2. sighz.
went 2 buy ck's birthdae presenz after tt w zy. coz marlom left us wout tellin us where he was goin. bought him a samuel n kevin shirt. which is quite nice. after tt left bishan 2 go 2 marina bay 4 my og outin. was e first wan 2 reach. hahaz. though quite little pple turn up but i guess it was still a quite successful outin. went 2 fly kites n hav a great time. reallie. i nv noe tt kite flyin is so fun. ok i hav been livin in a cave 4 a vry long time. hahaz. e first kite which glen bought n i chose was a pikachu kite. hahaz. e wind is so strong tt it flew awae. hahaz. n left wu jiang n zong jin there speechless. hahaz. it was so funnie. after tt glen n selene each bought a winnie e pooh kite which is of a betta quality n nicer. hahaz. n they were competin 2 c whose kite is higher. it's so fun. i reallie luv e feelin of runnin w e kite. hahaz. muz try it again. reallie recommend it 2 everywan. i luv it. hahaz.
went 4 streamboat later w yu kit. selene. glen. zong jin. wu jiang. yi liang. wen loong. ju yuan. maro. her fren. glen. selene. hope i didnt miss aniwan out. yahz. hahaz. my side was e most productive wan. keep on cookin n eatin. cookin n eatin. ate 4 like 2 hrs plus. hahaz. but hav 2 go home after tt coz got band e next dae. yahz. but i did hav alot of fun. n thanx 2 my dear aesapedeurans. thanx.
went 4 band 2dae. was so tired tt i almost cldnt get up in time. suffered frm tummyache. tink it's due 2 yesterdae dinner. but oh well. i recovered pretti fast. dawnie wasnt here 2dae. coz she was e supervisor 4 a cip tinggy. left mi n samuel 2 stone 2gather. miss dawnie badly. coz i wanna 2 foot fight w her. hahaz. n we were quite screwed 2dae lahz. sighz. feel vry bad tt samuel is facin e prob. but there's nothin i can do 2 help coz i m worse than him in terms of playin. how 2 help? sighz. reallie feel vry guilty. vry guilty. n e worst ting was tt i was alrdy late 4 my medical appointment. thus hav no time 2 tok 2 him. sighz. life is reallie screwed manz.
aniwae. after makin e decision 2 go 4 e op i had 2 go 2 tis pre-admission counsellin dept where they briefed mi on e dos n duns b4 an op. as mine is like 2molo. which is like vry rushed. so yahz. abit off lahz. where got pple got scheduled 4 op so fast wan. guess tt person is mi lahz. aniwae. waited quite long lahz. coz each patient is diff wat. n on e screen they were like statin tt e waitin time might be 2-3 hrs long. i almost fainted. hahaz. luckily nt tt bad. e personnel who tok 2 mi is nice. her name is agatha. n we were tokin rubbish. hahaz. i mean at e beginnin lahz. then she started 2 brief mi abt e stuff. coz my op is in e mornin. need 2 register n admit myself by 8.15 am. e op is ard 12 noon. so i cannt eat anitin after 12 midnite 2dae. n i cannt eat or drink until 8 hrs after e op which is supposed 2 finish by 12.30pm. abit e fast arhz. hahaz. so i will like be how hungry. i m reallie a glutton. nt lettin mi eat is like torture 4 mi lorz. sighz. so yahz. can onli eat at like 8 plus 2molo nite le. eekz. will be hospitalised for 5 daes. might be longer might be shorter. muz c my condition. oh well. i can make full use of tis chance n mug wout ani distraction. hahaz. so gd rite. like real lahz. i most prob will be sleepin n sleepin like a pig. but my mum refused 2 let mi bring ani of my soft toys w mi 2 e hospital. she sae got alot of germs. then vry dirty. then later when they come back they need 2 be washed. which is vry troublesome. oh well. sighz. guess i will be vry lonely there. aniwae agatha was like vry interested in wat instru is inside my bassoon case lahz. coz she dun understand wat i was tokin abt when i sae bassoon. so i opened e case 4 her 2 c. n her immediate reaction was "i noe tis. i saw it in e orchestra b4" arhz. correct. bassoon is an orchestra instru. hahaz. after tt went 2 another waitin rm n wait 4 my medical checkup. which basically was juz askin alot of qn n takin my height n weight n blood pressure. which like usual. was 2wards e low side.
went all e wae back 2 causewae 2 hav lunch w yee keow n ming chuan. yahz. sighz. life is dotz. need 2 go n pack my notes n stuff 2 take w mi 2 hospital 2 mug. well tis will be my last entry until i m discharged frm e hospital. so pple. do take care of urself. n be careful when u r playin ball game w ymw. hahaz. n most importantly muz mi!!! hahaz.
dreaming awae at 9:55 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
ok. shall abt wat happen 2dae. meet up w yee keow 2 go 2 e Aust Uni Open House at RELC buildin. which i seriously hav no idea where. yee keow noe it's sumwhere near Shangri la hotel which is near rgs. so off we go. took 2 buses 2 reach. n guess wat. RELC is at e other side of e hill frm Shangri la. so we climbed up e hill. realised our mistake. n climbed over e hill 2 e other side. n i inflict myself w 2 blisters. excellent. n inside. i met quite a few rjc j3. one of them is my ogl. wen kien. who exclaimed tt i m disgustin. coz i m like how kiasu. which i dun deny. coz in a sense i noe i m. pple who visit e open house r mostly e j3. but u noe wat. all e unis fair n stuff r within like these 2 daes. n spread all over e place. i m goin tis yr. so tt next yr i dun hav 2 go so much. u noe how tirin it is 2 go 2 such places? go n experience it urself next time.
so we reached there n r juz in time 4 a tok by e UNSW (Uni of New South Wales). e representative quite funny. but he did make e curriculum sound quite interestin. yahz. n he keep on jabbin e monash uni. hahaz. quite funnie lahz. oh well. grabbed a few info bklets n was on my wae 2 ps 2 eat. coz i haven eaten my lunch yet. so yahz. went 2 eat long john. n was like how pissed by tis 'gangster' lookin person. who keep on knockin on his table. as our tables r linked thru e partition our table is jumpin also. i almost feel like takin off my slipper n throwin it at him. i hav enough liao lorz. climbin up e hill in a supreme hot n humid dae. kana blisters. n my body rash actin up again is enough 4 aniwan i tell u. summore he is tis fat ugly lookin person. in my opinion. u wanna be a gd gangster. firstly u muz look like nicholes tse. in e gen x cops n wu yen zu. i 4got his eng name lahz. e wan acted in e new police story...e supreme bad guy. who i tink quite shuai wan. yahz. u wanna be gangster or pia kia. no 1 criteria. u muz be either vry gd lookin. or vry scary lookin. n nt plain ugly. no 2. if nt 4 e fact tt i dun wanna spoil my shoes n create a scene n ruin my image. i will seriously splash e drink in ur face. n his purpose 4 doin tt is 2 irritate e 2 of us enough 2 move 2 e adjacent table n let his frenz sit. wow liao. 2pid idiotic pig. go n die. u r e waste of e society (4get e more cheem word. oh well. my eng was nv gd). make sure i nv c u again. or else u will get it frm mi. n i mean it.
went 2 e uk fair after tt. which is at suntec. n guess wat. i tink half of singapore descend upon suntec 2dae lorz. wow liao. coz got like how mani billion pple millin ard. n e escalators r spoilt summore. in e end mi n yee keow hav 2 like dash across e rd. remind mi of e rds in malaysia. hahaz. lucky 4 us. most of e pple. abt 90% of them r goin 2 e IT show. phew. but we did hav a hard time tryin 2 go 2 e sixth floor exhibition hall. oh well.
went 2 get more info bklets. n noe more abt e cost of studyin there. basically e cheapest is still in singapore. n e most ex in uk. but if i m given a choice. i will go uk. becoz i m attracted 2 their environment. i wan 2 c e world!!! i wan 2 touch e snow. i wanna life in a place w scenery. or aniwhere near e ocean. or lake. or wateva. i wanna learn skiin. i wanna build a snowman. i wanna enjoy hot chocolate in a cold winter. sighz. even my mum is goin 2 aust durin e june hols i tink. wow liao. ok lorz. so now i m e most 'cave-like' person in e family. my papa went 2 canada 2 c his frenz b4. my bro went 2 taiwan. aust durin his ns stint. n he's goin 2 genting like soon? sighz. my sis went 2 thailand. taiwan. n hongkong. wat abt mi? e furthest i had been is sarawak. which is still in malaysia!!! sighz. n tt's in pri 6. 6 yrs ago. i feel like how big a failure. oh well.
went 2 c my sis after tt. yahz. n e first ting she sae 2 mi is tt i had put on weight. ok lorz. i noe lahz. i m like how fat. dun need u 2 remind mi. i m reminded abt it everydae when i wear my uniform. sighz. oh n i saw e photos of my niece. whose name is en xin. sound like e name of e korean main female lead in e show. autumn sumtin. e prelude 2 winter sonata. where i get my current blog song frm. hahaz. n horz. she got big ear lobes like mi. n her eyes r reallie big. juz like mi also. hahaz. but she is still so thin. sighz. but i guess she will grow 2 be as cute as i was in e past. i was reallie quite cute wan horz. juz tt sumting went wrong when i was growin up. hahaz.
ate one of e best pig trotters i had in my life. so nice. hahaz. oh well. feelin abit e bloated now. well so i m behind time in my study schedule. sighz. supposed 2 finish physics by 2dae. n guess wat. i like nv touch anitin? coz i was out e whole dae. hmmz.
estella's list of topics 2 be studied:
1. Physics
- Electric Fields
- Capacitance
- Current Electricity
- DC Circuits
- Electromagnetism
- Electromagnetic Induction
2. Chemistry
^Chemical Bonding 1 n 2 (which is like alot)
^Chemical Energetics
^Organic Chemistry
> Alkanes
> Alkenes
> Arenes
> Halogen Derivatives
> Hydroxyl Compounds
> Carbony Compounds
> Carboxylic Acids n Derivatives
> Nitrogent Compounds
3. Mathematics
~ Differentiation from Tutorial 11A to 11D
~ Power Series 1 n 2
~ Integration from Tutorial 13A to 13C
~ First order Differential Equations
4. Biology
* Cell Structure
* Biological Molecules
* Enzymes
* Transport in Plants
* Transport in Animals
* Nervous System
* Homeostasis and the Endocrine System
* Excretion (Kidney)
* Genetics
n how much hav i finished? nothin rite. sighz. hav remedial w mr benny lee on tues. chem test w ms tang on wed. band prac on wed n fri. sectionals on fri. sighz. wat kind of hols is tis? sighz. n my mum is naggin at mi again. saein tt i m nt hardworkin. n tt i watched alot of tv. which is nt exactly true. coz i onli watch e 7.30 pm show on channel u. called jie da huan xi. tt last 1 hr. nt alot wat. sighz. oh well. n she keep on harpin on e fact tt i dun hav s papers. unlike my bro n sis. who hav 1 n 2 respectively. but their grades r nt tt fantastic wat. my bro is qiang lahz. so he got distinction 4 his S. but my sis got 1 merit n 1 ungraded. but then she was severely ill when she was takin her A levels so cant reallie sae anitin there also. ok lahz. it's all my fault tt i nv study hard enough durin my j1 yr. but it's 2 late 2 cry over spilled milk. all i noe is as long as i get 3 A n 1 B minimum 4 my A levels. i can go aniwhere i wan. n i m goin 2 make it. (positive thots at work)
dreaming awae at 11:11 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Happie Birthdae Yii Ean! yeahz! my classmates 4 4 yrs! hahaz. luv u always. muackz!
ok. i m still alive n kickin. hahaz. i m tokkin rubbishz. aniwae. went 4 band 2dae. after missin in action 4 like 2 plus wks? yahz. tt's abit e long le. abit onli. hahaz. guess iris biao jie miss mi quite alot. cant sae tt 4 others though. hahaz. aniwae we played 'w heart n voice' 2dae. which in my opinion is a quite horrible song. e whole song i tink only yun yuan got e nice part. oh well. wat can i expect. aniwae. i sound quite bad lahz. who can blame mi. onli manage 2 play e bassoon w e new reed yesterdae nite at like 10 plus? lucky 4 mi no wan complaint lorz. or else...i dun wanna 2 tink abt e consequences. aniwae overslept lahz. hahaz. so in e end hav 2 drag my papa frm his bed 2 drive mi 2 sch. which he obviously complained abt lahz. sighz. band prac is ok. at least i played sumtin. yahz. juz tt i m totally lost in e 3rd piece tt we played. hahaz. which is like no surprise. considerin my supreme lousy sight readin skills. played w my injured pinkie. which is ok lahz. at least at e front. 2wards e end of e band prac. start 2 becom more n more painful. hope i didnt do further damage 2 it. hmmz.
went 2 e nus open house 2dae. horrible. seriously. in tis kind of weather. oh well. like wat i sae b4. i m tryin all my means nt 2 study in singapore. alot of pple will find mi weird. well. i juz wanna c e world. n medicine faculty is vry hard 2 get in in singapore. n singapore medical education is nt exactly tt gd. yahz. wanted 2 go 2 e ireland medicine tok wan. but decided nt 2 coz nt enough time. nvm. i can always go next yr. n i realise tt i shldnt be swayed by others. even if no wan wanna go w mi. i can always go myself. coz in e end i m considerin my own future.
tis wk hav nt been exactly great. sighz. 2 end of e sch term i hav physics spa skill b. skill b is e most easy skill out of all. n guess wat. i screw it up. seriously. i tink at most i will get 7. coz i 4got 2 write e unit 4 one of e quantity. excellent. n guess wat. i hav 10 mins 2 e end time while others r rushin 2 finish their graphs etc. all i did was 2 stare at e table n didnt c anitin missin rite. wow liao. i cant stand myself now. i hate tis manz. n 2 make matters worse. i screw up my skill c n d 4 physics last yr also. severely. even worse than tis. which ms tan told mi at most i will get like 4. i dun noe wat's wrong w mi. maybe physics is my jinx. but i do like e subj. juz tt i can nv score well. sighz.
i m gettin my momentum le. at least start 2 le. i finished my kidney tutorial when zy. marlom. ck. n hm didnt. hahaz. out of e 5 of us i was e onli wan who did it. feel so proud of myself. hahaz. finally. i show pple tt i can be hardworkin. n guess wat. tis tutorial was done at 4.30 am. sighz. ok maybe it's nt tt gd after all. but i do start studyin le. e last few daes were spent by teachers rushin 2 finish tutorials or revise w us e basic concepts tested 4 common test. wat's e pt? if u cant finish y did u bother 2 put it in e topics 2 be tested 4 common test? u r ruinin us lorz. sighz. i hav no time 2 study. no time. i need 2 finish revisin
physics n doin past yr common tests by
mondae. coz i hav remedial lesson w mr benny lee. i need 2 finish revisin
chemistry by
wednesdae coz ms tang is givin us another test. excellent. tis is juz so great. n i need at least 3 daes 2 study 4 bio. coz they r testin us on almost everyting we learned. which is like e whole syllabus except evolution n photosynthesis n respiration i tink. great tis is juz great. sighz. tt basically leave mi no time 4 maths. oh no. i cant fail maths! arhz.
aniwae on a happier note. i passed my maths test. hahaz. like finallie rite. got 17/25. hahaz. so happie. at least i can still do differentiation. but my integration is horrendous. shall nt tink abt it. hmmz. will be comin up w a 2 study list. which is alot lahz. hopefully will be able 2 finish. i muz pass my common tests!!! muz! muz! (positive thots at work)
aniwae i realise tt 15 march is a vry popular date. i hav 5 pple i noe havin e same birthdae. excellent. oh well. then 19 march is also quite popular. got 2 persons havin e same birthdae. hahaz. march will be a vry busy mth. hmmz.
realise tt sumtimes shld juz nt sae anitin. reallie. everyting will be so much simpler. oh well. i guess i m sumwan who like 2 tok. in nicer terms. express herself. hahaz. hope everyting will settle down n be ok again. sumtimes i wonder whether i m a pple person or a loner. surrounded by others. yet yearn 2 be alone. do u eva hav tt kind of feelin? hmmz.
e person who tok alot. may be e person who is hidin e most stuff. e person who dun tok at all. may be e person who is being e most obvious. do u agree? i agree. my reasons will remain w mi. coz tis is trade secret. hahaz. ok shall nt crap animore. coz my bro wanna use com.
mummy. i will miss u. all e best 4 ur bmt. jia you!
dreaming awae at 11:43 PM
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Happie Birthdae Samuel! Happie Birthdae Lulu!
yahz as u can c. 2dae got 2 pple birthdae. one is my bassoon junior. one is my fren 4 6 yrs rite. same class 4 4 yrs in ny. hahaz. oh well. spent 4 hrs plus doin samuel's presenz which is a cute jigsaw showin 3 cute kittens. actuallie wanna buy a shirt 4 samuel. but e prob is no 1. i dun noe his size. no 2. i nv buy shirts 4 guys b4. coz e presenz i get 4 guys r like bks or wallet or i 4got wat le. hahaz. yahz. well. i didnt noe tt it looks feminine coz i thot samuel like cats. then yahz. summore e pic show 3 kittens. juz nice 4 e 3 of us. aniwae i abit no time management lahz. so slept at 2 in e mornin. n nv study ani ting related 2 gp rite. sighz. aniwae lulu if u eva read tis. i m goin 2 get ur birthdae presenz soon ok? n i will be finishin up e christmas presenz also. so tt e next meetin. i can give u n my darlin son who i owe e presenz also. aniwae log in 2 my friendster account juz now. n realise tt there r like more than 10 pple birthdae within e wk. n got 3 on e same dae. same dae as my sis's birthdae also. hmmz. such a coincidence rite?
aniwae gp is horrible n horrendous 2dae. i reallie mean tt. sighz. 2 tink tt i pon pe 4 e first time in my life 2 study gp n tis is how it turns out. but was quite tired lahz. so was dozin off when i was readin all e sample essays. yahz. feel quite terrible. aniwae. when i got e compo qns. i was like stunned lahz. was starin at e qns 4 10 mins nt noein wat 2 write. juz stare at e qns. all e qns abit e off lorz. in e end did e qn on television programmes. sumtin abt 'izzt true tt nowadae choices offered by e tv is nothin more than trivial rubbish'. n i anihow crap rite. at least compo i noe wat i m writin. 4 e compre. it's one of e worst compre i hav ever done. if i can pass. i m seriously vry surprised. i dun even noe wat i m writin 4 e application qn. seriously. oh well. i can juz join in 4 gp remedial i guess. sighz.
aniwae was quite happie on tues lahz. coz pe e class played badminton. well we didnt get ani indoor place 2 play but i did enjoy myself. hahaz. i miss badminton. even i cldnt hav a firm grip on e racket due 2 my pinkie. i did hav fun. n i like ms sim. i hope she stay as our pe teacher. hahaz. coz she vry nice. she let us decide wat we wanna 2 do. so nice rite.
realise tt i m gettin more n more incoherent. n tt when i feel stressed. i will juz tok nonsense. reallie nonsense tt doesnt apply 2 anitin. n i will juz start gigglin non stop. or juz stone thruout e lesson. hahaz. tt sound quite bad. but i guess e non stop gigglin is my wae 2 relieve stress. hmmz.
always hav e habit of readin others' blogs b4 writin my own blog. so tt i can express my own views. but e prob is my memory is so bad tt i 4got wat i read. sighz. erhz. juz wanna sae tt marlom's blog is still as descriptive as eva n as cheem as eva. yahz. i m goin 2 fail gp. dotz.
realise tt i reallie like my blog music. coz it's quite soothin. yet help mi 2 get into e reflective mode. well. i guess i m sumwan who like 2 analyse stuff. seriously. give mi sumwan i noe. i will luv 2 analyse them. provided i hav enough interaction w tt person. n i noe e person quite well lahz. well. 1 ting i realise frm all tis is tt diff pple hav diff wae of dealin w stuff. juz like when we come face 2 face w pressure or failure. e wae we react will be diff. all of us hav our own pathwae of tinkin. n it's becoz of tis tt we r diff. diff environment will help 2 shape e person we becom. maybe 1 dae i will learn more abt tis lahz. but oh well. i m nt plannin 2 becom a fortune teller. so let it be like tt now lahz.
brought bassoon home 2dae. will be pracin 2molo n on fridae. coz so long nv play le n i need 2 get used 2 my new reed or else vry weird. cant even play a scale properly. well i m nt goin 2 tink so much now. abt syf or a tempo. we will c how it goes now. coz maybe i m juz nt suitable after all.
need 2 finish kidney tutorial n first order differential eqn tutorial by 2dae. realise tt all e teachers abit e slave driver. hahaz. well wat else shld i expect. since i will be sittin 4 my As in less than 8 mths. i need e momentum. wat happen 2 e slightly more hardworkin mi in sec 4? hmmz.
dreaming awae at 9:47 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
well. nothin much 2 sae. juz e usual. like i nv study again. sighz. was formatin my template 4 awhile n tryin 2 find suitable music 4 tis blog. spent like 2 hrs plus n came up w notin. basically all chinese mp3 websites r off. wow liao. sighz. nvm. aniwae came across tis song when i was searchin 4 e song tears in e movie windstruck. hahaz. tis song is nice ok. juz tt abit e sad. i always like tis song n sum other korean songs. tink tt their music vry nice. n they strike sumting deep inside mi. yahz. hmmz.
aniwae i reallie didnt study 4 chem spa skill c n d 2dae. well anihow do lahz. n 4got 2 write sum vry impt pts 4 skill d. well heck lahz. i m tired. seriously. sum more wed is gp common test le n fridae still hav physics skill b. like i hav enough of spa 4 tis term? irritatin. i cant wait 4 it 2 end which will be next term. sighz.
stayed back in sch 2 finish up my maths assignment. integration is horrendous. wow liao. my head practically ache frm tryin 2 solve e qns. they r like how hard? oh well. managed 2 finish it n hand in. met up w my dear amir mummy. hahaz. so happie 2 c him. mummy. juz wanna sae no matter wat happen. u r still my mummy. n i luv u lots. muackz! thanx 4 being here 4 mi 4 e past yr. though we onli noe each other durin e june chalet. hahaz. u r goin in on fridae le. erhz. dun die horz. hahaz. if daddy can survive. i m vry sure tt u can do so 2. coz u r supposedly fitter than daddy rite. coz u 'gave birth' 2 e 5 of us. take care mummy. ur youngest daughter will be here 4 u always. luv u always.
aniwae find tis quite off. sum of my classmates tink tt marlom n i r 2gather. i m seriously speechless. wow liao. tis continue 4 like 1 yr liao n they r still nt bored? like hello. marlom is juz my gd fren. juz like zhao yi. if like tt i will like hav how mani boyfrenz le? 4 goodness sake lahz. n i alrdy hav sumwan in mind liao. tokin abt tt. marlom can u pls pls pls to e power of infinity. help mi get e stuff i wan. pls. hahaz. i noe it's difficult on ur part 2. but seriously lahz. i wan 2 noe lorz. i wan 2 noe how's my shuai gor2 now. whether he did well 4 As or not. whether he is goin into ns soon. sighz. n how he look like durin their grad nite. i noe i m abit off. but then i m curious lahz. hahaz. sound abit e despo. which i m nt ok. hahaz. until now all i hav is juz a photograph of his back. sighz. so deprived. hahaz. ok marlom?
well i hav tonnes of hmwk waitin 4 mi 2 do. like 2 bio tutorials. nervous control n kidney. maths tutorial 14. n 2 study 4 gp. which i hav a high chance of failin. coz i can nv write fluently. unlike sum pple in my class. sighz. eng language is nv my forte if it's chinese. it will be like a total different scenario. wateva lahz.
was tokin on e train 2 my amir mummy n yee keow. was asked e qn wat i wanna study in future. well truthfully i dun noe. reallie. inside my mind there's tis voice tt tell mi i wanna be a doc. but on e other hand. alot of doubts of e poss of mi attainin tt r churnin in my mind 2. well. i guess i will juz c how it goes 4 mi. how will i do 4 my As will determine my path. if i cant be a doc. i guess i can always study other stuff. like hotel management. public relations. tourism. forensic science. n i m even considerin philosophy. but my eng is abit e off lahz. abit e hard 4 mi 2 argue stuff also. oh well. n e countries i wanna 2 study in r switzerland. ireland. australia n uk. hahaz. all abit e far frm singapore. but i guess in e end i wun go there lahz. coz i cant afford it wat. but who noes? maybe i will reallie strike lottery 1 dae? hahaz. n 2 tink tt i dun reallie support gamblin. hmmz. sighz. perhaps. maybe juz perhaps. my dream of cin e rest of e world will come true. perhaps.
dreaming awae at 10:20 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
ok. shall try 2 recall wat happen tis few daes. hmmz. erhz. went 2 watch e mep concert on fridae nite. which is actuallie a last min decision. coz i didnt wan 2 go home n sharon was crappin w mi. so yahz. decided 2 juz stay behind 4 e concert lahz. n support dominic. hahaz. aniwae e grasshopper song is quite cute. hahaz. but i muz sae tt my 'nono' 4 concert is strings. as long as got strings. then if e piece is nt vry dramatic wan. i sure sleep wan. hahaz. dun noe lahz. juz cannt take it wan. hmmz.
n i had my first physics remedial w mr benny lee lahz. hahaz. abit e funnie. aniwae i realise tt he quite qiang. coz durin ns. he was alrdy an officer. though he was e lowest rank lahz. but tis is coz he nv signed on 2 continue as a regular. or else now he is alrdy captain or major. hahaz. tis show tt nt all rv guys cannt make it. hmmz.
reach home quite late lahz. on fridae nite. n was plannin 2 go 4 band. but guess wat. i suffered frm bouts of diarrhea thru e nite. i reallie mean thru e nite. didnt get 2 sleep much. n was like cldnt walk properly. coz legs were weak frm all my trips 2 e toilet. sighz. finally e medication start 2 take effect. so decided 2 stay at home n rest. at least e toilet is nearer 2 mi wat. band prac now all at ri. n it's a guys sch. so like i dun even noe where is e female toilet. wow liao. if reallie need 2 go. muz run like how long a dist. dun tink i will tahan lorz. can juz faint. hahaz. hmmz. so was at home till like 5 plus b4 i leave 2 go 2 city hall 2 meet e class 4 e play lahz. tt mrs toh wan us 2 watch. called 'adolf'. common sense will tell u wat it's all abt lahz.
was late. so meet up w marlom n yee keow. b4 goin 2 meet e class. realise tt i abit e overdressed. but abit no choice also. coz my jeans r in e wash. then cannt wear t shirts w tt pants. so yahz. hahaz. kevin sae i look vry retro. hmmz. remind mi of my sec 4 grad nite. which was a total disaster. in terms of fashion lahz. aniwae. i did get 2 wear tt black pants tt i bought 4 play on other occasion. thus makin mi feel betta tt i m nt wastin my money. hmmz.
e play is nt bad. hahaz. vry racist. so tt u understand tt inside everywan of us. while we r laughin at all e racist jokes. do we at times agree w wat he is saein? do we at times hope tt there will be a leader like hilter who will stand up n help us get rid of these 'problem causin' pple? quite interestin lehz. hmmz. aniwae ms tan came lahz. n after i told her i failed my physics again. she abit like 'oh no'. hahaz. aniwae she make a deal w mi. if i passed my physics common test. then she will come 4 band concert. a tempo. hahaz. then i can help dawnie sell off her $21 tix. hmmz. so i muz work hard durin e hols. n make sure tt i pass my physics test. yahz. muz pass. ok i m goin 2 try tt positive thots tings again. hmmz. hahaz.
didnt get 2 go 2 e career fair 2dae. oh well. nvm. i guess next yr will still hav. then next yr can go lahz. hmmz. i m abit e sianz lehz. sighz. 2molo got chem spa. so muz go n study le. sianz. i betta do well arhz. or else sure die. n i still haven finish my carboxylic acid tutorial. sighz. ok shall go do now.
aniwae juz wanna sae sorrie 2 samuel 4 causin all e probs. sorrie. sighz. but juz a piece of advice. if u reallie wanna compose poems. perhaps u shld hav a separate blog. a private wan. hahaz. then u can do wateva u wan. can curse all of us. n we wun noe. hahaz. n juz let a few pple noe. those who u trust explictly. then those who shld be readin e stuff u write. will be readin it. n nt others. tis seem 2 be a better alternative.
dreaming awae at 2:20 PM
Thursday, March 03, 2005
hmmz. notin happened much 2dae lahz. i mean reallie notin much. erhz. i m quite productive in e mornin 2dae. like finallie rite. hahaz. learnt 2 stop crappin w my j1s. hahaz. oopz. aniwae i finished 1 qn 4 bio 2dae in e mornin. n wrote like 5/6 of e page. hahaz. at least got sumtin 2 show 4 tutorial. though in e end when he went thru e answers. my answer abit diff frm his can. so gross. in e end i still hav 2 copy so much stuff.
went 4 physics prac make up after chem lect (last lesson) at 2 like tt. n i spent like billion yrs doin e physics prac. coz i dun noe wat 2 do. i mean like wat r e steps i can skip or whether i shld repeat e experiment 2 obtain more results. reallie lorz. then i finallie realise how hard 2 do stuff w incomplete hands rite. i keep on knockin into stuff w my pinkie while tryin 2 assemble e circuit. pain u noe. n my pain is cumin back. tt kind of pain tt is always present in my pinkie. it's back. i m debatin whether i shld take e pain killer again. hmmz. yahz. so mr benny lee was goin thru e tings 2 take note of 4 spa skill b next wk. n he was highlightin e mistakes tt pple made 4 past pracs. one of them is e prac i m makin up 4. so i was like finished w e expt b4 i heard him mention sumtin like muz label e table like tis n muz repeat expt 2 get more results n take e average if u r measuring time. like no wan tell mi? lucky 4 mi. my graph is quite nice lahz. but i seriously dun remember wat i shld write 4 e 'precautions taken to produce reliable results'. dun noe wat 2 write so i came up w sum reallie ridiculous stuff tt i myself dun understand wat i m writin. dun even need 2 ask whether he will understand or nt. sighz. overall i still missed 1 prac. which is e more difficult wan. hmmz. hope i will do well 4 spa. nvm. at least i m gettin extra time 4 physics spa next wk. n chem spa 2. hahaz. feel slightly betta. *smiles*
but then my cough is cumin back. n i hav runnin nose again. oh no. i m nt goin 2 fall sick again. nope. or else i cant go 4 band again on sat. tis is bad. vry bad. hmmz. n dawnie is so sick i feel so apologetic. sighz. yu kit also. sighz. my bro also. sighz. ok everywan is sick becoz of mi. sighz. well. e best i can do is hope tt u all get well soon. hahaz.
i realise tt when i try 2 push sum ting w my pinkie. my pinkie hurt alot. hmmz. how? i reallie muz wait till 4 wks later b4 i start usin my pinkie arhz? tt will be like a tempo alrdy. n i cant play! die. hmmz. aniwae 4 syf rite. i seriously dun tink i m goin 2 get it. coz no1. a band dun need 3 bassoons. a band need max 2. yahz. n both dawnie n samuel r betta than mi. so e last person 2 kick is mi lahz. n actuallie i dun mind. reallie. coz i harbour no hope tt i will get ani scholarship. since firstly. i dun hav ani s paper. 2ndly i dun hav ani leadership post. 3rdly my grades r nt fantastic at all. so yahz. 4get it. hahaz. n tokin abt academic stuff. attended e St George's Medical College tok 2dae. abit e pathetic. like there'r onli 6 j2 gurlz n 1 j2 guy w 4 'out of place' j1. yahz. erhz. they r here 2 promote tis new course called e 'Biomedical Science'. so it's a science degree lahz. 3 yrs. but if after u finish e final yr. n ur results is like e top dun noe how mani percents. u will be selected 2 go 4 interview. n if u pass ur interview. u can go into e 3rd yr of their med course lahz. so u finish med sch 1 yr later than others but u get both ur MBBS n ur degree in science. sound quite interesting. but e sch fees abit e ex. summore in london. so like will be usin british pounds. which is like S$3. abit ex arhz. aniwae e sch fees is 13 000 pounds per yr. n e estimated cost of livin in london is 7000 pounds per yr. so in total 20 000 pounds. which is equal 2 S$60 000 per yr. S$180 000 4 3 yrs. wow. tt's like so far awae frm mi. hahaz. but they stressed tt e cost of livin near e college is nt so ex coz e college is sum distance frm e centre of london. but then. i m vry poor. so yahz. hahaz. no hope 4 mi. hmmz. but still like 2 attend such tok. who noes 1 dae i might become richer n be able 2 go overseas 2 study? hahaz. so i m goin 4 e uk universities tok. aniwan interested? wanna go w mi? i m nt considerin us at all coz i didnt take SAT. yahz. so tt's out of pt. yahz. tokin abt tis. i muz go n do work. liao. hmmz. got quite alot. well. shall c wat i can finish n try 2 finish b4 i fall asleep.
dreaming awae at 9:50 PM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
wow liao. wow liao. i feel so dotz lahz. wat e!#%!. i spent 1 hr in e hospital waitin 4 no reason. i m so 2pid. arhz. sighz. reached tan tock seng hospital at 1.53 pm. took e x rae n got e wet film at like 2.06 pm. juz nice 2 c e doc at 2.10 pm. but guess wat. i wait frm then till 3.25 pm b4 i get 2 c e doc. coz i wait n wait until 3.15 pm then cannt take it liao b4 i ask e counter staff 4 assistance. onli then was i informed tt i m supposed 2 tell e nurse inside e consultation rm tt i hav finished takin my x rae n is ready 2 c e doc. wat e!#*%! waste my time. wow liao. i wait until i fall asleep yet dun reallie dare 2 sleep coz i scared i miss my turn rite. 2pid lahz. make mi wait so long 4 no apparent reason. feel like stranglin sumwan rite at tt moment. aniwae my x rae show my pinkie in e same position lahz. so congrats 2 mi. n i mean in positive terms. hahaz. I DUN NEED 2 GO 4 OPERATION!!! yeahz! my life is beginnin 2 look slightly betta. hahaz. shld be able 2 start movin it abit 2 wks later when i follow up my appointment. yeahz!
but e doc i c 2dae...by e name of Dr Ernest Kwek. w his vry big n legible handwritin. sae i will take 6 wks after e fracture b4 i can use my pinkie again. n frm then till 3 mths later i muz take gd care of my pinkie still. b4 i m considered fully recovered rite. so i count n count. i abit like cannt play 4 a tempo le. syf abit e cannt make it liao rite. sighz. n i got myself an mc 4 excuse 4 napfa. but horz. e date he wrote like end at 13 april. dotz. i dun tink napfa is tt early. nvm. shall ask 4 another mc 2 wks later when i c Dr Matthew Cheng. hmmz. n i got my letter 4 e spa assessment. hahaz. will hav more time now! yeahz.
aniwae find tis vry funnie. durin class these few daes. we were teasin chong keat lahz. then e conversation evolved 2 e wife we tink he need. then ck n marlom started 2 heat up e discussion w marlom endin e conversation on a high note w tis statement...u dun need a wife. wat u need is a robot. (5 seconds pause) with batteries included. hahaz. find tis reallie funnie. mi n zhao yi reallie cldnt stop laughin. hahaz. ok i m being off. but who can blame it. life is reallie borin.
n horz i realise tt my germs r reallie vry powerful. till date i hav caused e infection of 5 pple. hahaz. all in worse state than i m now. hahaz. coz i m on e rd 2 recovery le. i m so happie rite. can finallie go 4 band on sat. yeahz. but i dun tink aniwan miss mi in e first place lahz. dawnie is e 5th person tt i passed e germs 2. so yahz. 2dae onli got samuel went 4 band. hahaz. poor samuel. lone survivor of e bassoon species. ok i m abit off le. hmmz. cannt remember wat izzt tt i wanna blog lehz. nvm lahz. will blog abt it when i remember. shall go n do my bio homeostasis tutorial n chem carboxylic acid tutorial. coz mr low will be checkin e tutorial. n ms tang wan us 2 hand in chem rite. sighz. she reallie abit e slave driver can. sighz. n 4 bio spa. in e end. i onli like studied 4 a total of 1 hr b4 i went in 2 take it rite. hahaz. confirmed died wan. but our class guessed e qn correctly lahz. so yahz. aniwae juz b4 e start of e spa. i stick out my pinkie n exclaimed. mr low. my finger like tt. how? then he actuallie sae tt i can hav extra time. hahaz. feel so dotz. hahaz. but in e end even wout e extra time i hav 20 mins 2 rot rite. n check answer. so yahz. i didnt use e extra time. but i will need it 4 chem spa next wk. coz how 2 do experiment properly. w like incomplete hands? maths test is ok lahz. overall. shld be able 2 pass. shld arhz. sighz. if i fail. i reallie tink tt mr tay will murder mi. n put mi on permanent remedial. coz tt test truthfully speakin. is easy. sighz.
dreaming awae at 9:09 PM