Reflection
Look at me,
You may think you see
Who I really am,
But you'll never know me.
Everyday,
it's as if I play
A part.
Now I see,
If I wear a mask,
I can fool the world,
but I cannot fool my heart.
Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight,
Back at me.
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now,
In a world
Where I have to hide in my heart,
and what I believe in.
But somehow,
I will show the world what's inside my heart,
And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see,
staring straight
back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
someone else
for all time.
When will my reflection show,
who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free
to fly
That burns with a need to know
the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel?
Must there be
a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
someone else
for all time.
When will my reflection show
who I am inside?
Monday, May 02, 2005
oh dear. i hav been goin 2 town 4 e past 2 daes. i feel so unlike myself. hahaz. well. 2dae or i shld sae yesterdae reached home onli like 11.40pm. which is like vry vry late. n worse still. my phone died on mi. sighz. shld hav juz charge it b4 leavin e house.
so i went 2 meet up w my darlin son 2dae 2 go shoppin at bugis. managed 2 get a few presenz. hahaz. n sum of them r reallie vry funnie. oh my. i cant stop grinnin. i wonder how will e recepients react when they get their presenz. hahaz. after tt went 2 orchard 2 meet up w xiang2. boon2. yii ean. n xiu li 2 hav dinner 2gather n buy xiu li's birthdae presenz. i m so happie 2 c all of them. even though i met xiang2 n boon2 e dae b4 at orchard 2. hahaz. had dinner at swensens n shared an 'earthquake' among us. reallie hav a great time laughin. coz we were tinkin of waes 2 leave wout payin while waitin 4 e person 2 return us our change. after tt went shoppin so tt xiu li can find her presenz. in e end we found ourselves in espirit in isetan. n we went into e fittin rm 2gather. while e gurlz take turns 2 change into e clothes. it's so funnie.
i m vry happie 2dae. i suddenly realise how much i miss tis type of interactions w pple. pple i noe. pple who like mi 4 who i m. pple whom i hav no prob cryin in front. n tokkin real rubbish w. my sis once told mi tt my life long frenz will most prob be e pple i meet in my sec sch daes. n i muz sae it's vry accurate. coz till date. they remained my closest frenz. even though we dun meet each other as often. but i can always tell them wat's on my mind. they pulled mi thru e most difficult period b4 O levels. all of them r smarter than mi. more hardworkin than mi. yet they dun mind teachin mi tings tt i dun understand. it's reallie hard 2 find such frenz in sch now. guess alot of pple r more worried abt themselves. n we r supposed 2 learn independence aniwae. hahaz. ard them. my clique. i feel so comfortable. so at ease. maybe tis is wat i need 2 enjoy life again. hmmz.
realise tt samuel is a vry 'feelin' person. hahaz. n samuel ur drawings r nt bad lahz. dun tink so lowly abt urself. u hav my stamp of approval. sumwan who studied drawin 4 10 yrs. n gave it up due 2 family pressure again lahz. hahaz. i realise my life is reallie full of irony. maybe u shld reallie pursue a career in e arts. since u can express urself well in words/writin n visual arts. juz a suggestion. dun tink 2 much into it. hahaz.
n horz. i m nt goin crazy lahz. juz fallin into trances every now n then. hahaz. n i tink havin a crazy senior will be quite interestin. dun u tink so? hahaz. then i can haunt u everydae w my great philosophy of life n sufferin. hahaz. bet u will enjoy it manz. okok. shall nt continue crappin.
i guess it's almost imposs 2 ask 4 a person 2 consider an issue frm all angles. i shall be truthful n sae tt i cant do it. reallie. no matter how hard i try. i can always c things frm 1 angle. n imagine how it will be like at e other angle. so 4 example. while almost everywan in syf i noe r discussin abt stress n e imptance of e band workin as a whole n how sum pple's attitude prob is goin 2 screw tings up. i dun noe wat i shld sae or feel or wat. coz puttin it simply. i nv experience all tis b4. yahz. juz like others wun be able 2 reallie understand or feel how it is on e other side of e river. i wun be able 2 understand or feel wat they r feelin now.
so maybe tis is wat they meant tt by havin more experiences in ur life. u understand life betta. hmmz. so tt u will be able 2 feel n tink frm all diff angles on a particular issue. then will u be able 2 sympathise w all e parties involved. wow. i feel so cheem. hahaz. goin thru a totally diff experience frm others is goin 2 cause one 2 feel alone n unluved. but then if there is a chance 4 everywan 2 experience sumting 2gather again. it shld be able 2 close up e rift n tings will be lookin betta. at least tt's wat i tink lahz. coz i nv apply tt in life b4. hopefully it does work.
2 all my batchmates n juniors in syf. jia you ok? dun tink 2 much. juz put in ur best. coz if u believe tt u can. u can. reallie. positive thots do work. so dun be stingent n use as much of them as poss. though u cant change how pple tink n do stuff. u can help them by showin them tt there's another wae. showin n nt forcin them 2 follow. coz ultimately whether they chose 2 do it or nt is their personal choice. n we shld nv interfere w others' personal choice. coz e consequences of e choice shld be bear by e person alone.
ok. enough bloggin. i m reallie tired. n my feet is reallie goin 2 fall off frm my body soon. i suddenly realise tt shoppin is reallie a gd wae 2 slim down. hahaz. but i hav no money liao. spent so much on birthdae's presenz. sighz. nvm. my birthdae is comin. hahaz. *hint*hint*
dreaming awae at 12:59 AM