Wednesday, March 16, 2005
ok. tt's it. i m goin 4 operation le. sighz. it's all my fault actuallie. reallie. all my fault. 4 wks ago i fractured my pinkie. 3 wks ago i went 2 c my orthopaedic surgeon 4 e first time. e x rae was fine. everyting was ok. my finger is straight. n e distance between my fractured bone n my original bone is acceptable. 2 wks ago. i saw another doc. a registra. n e x rae look juz like e wan i took a wk ago. so i was happily goin ard my normal routine. n started 2 go 4 band rite. n start usin my pinkie 2 play bassoon. coz i thot w e splint it's ok. how wrong can i be. oh how wrong. becoz of my impatience. my lower bone shifted. n my fractured bone shift w it. so e dist between them is still acceptable. my fractured bone even start growin back le. juz tt now e original bone is bend outwards. if u was 2 look at my finger now. it resemble a bowed leg. n e cause of tis. becoz i hav been pressin down my pinkie. tis cause my bone 2 start movin. hence in its current state.
i was late 4 e appointment. coz left band late. was rushin ard w a bassoon. ran up (or try to) e stairs frm e mrt 2 e hospital. then e escalator. then 2 e x rae dept. took e x rae. then ran 2 e clinic. n i was still 25 mins late. dotz. sighz. get 2 c e doc. Dr Mathew Cheng tis time round. he removed my bandage. give mi e splint as a souvenier. n bend my pinkie 4 mi coz my finger is so stiff. e sudden jolt of pain is horrible. he look at my finger. look at my x rae. n sae e sentence he told mi 3 wks ago. "u hav 2 make a decision todae". n i noe i hav 2 go 4 operation le. coz lookin at my finger. it look reallie vry bad. my impatience hav cause mi so much more probs. sighz.
i hav 2 options.
option 1: dun go 4 op. let my finger stay e wae it is. as crooked as poss. then undergo therapy 2 start movin it again. after e bone fully grow back. it will be permanently like tt.
option 2: go 4 op. he will cut open my pinkie. open e skin up. saw off e growin back part between e fractured bone n e original bone. adjust both bones 2 be straighter n screw e fractured bone 2 e original bone w 2 screws. e stitch will be removed 2 daes later. n i will undergo therapy 4 e next few daes. will be hospitalised.
my choice? option 2. u can sae i m vain. which i nv deny. but 4 e fact tt my finger look vry crooked n i cannt stretch it 2 play bassoon. it's sumtin i dun wan. furthermore i may move my bone again. then it become worse again. Dr Cheng was like saein. if he noe it's goin 2 turn out like tis. e previous time he wun give mi e chance 2 chose n straightawae sent mi 4 op. sighz. tis time round e op is more difficult. n i will be fully anaesthesized. even though e affected region is so small. i m reminded of e promise i made 2 myself. tt i will nv place myself in e shoes of a patient undergoin surgery after my attachment at NNI (national neuroscience institute) last yr where i witnessed sum reallie horrendous operation due 2 e imperfect skills of e surgeon. now c wat happen. sighz. under anaesthesia i wun noe wat's happenin. tt's abit e scary 2 tink abt it. lucky 4 mi. mine is juz a small bone nt my brain. hahaz. i can still recalled almost witnessin sum patient's brain being sucked up tis tube tt is used 2 drain e excess blood. oh dear. quite gory. shall nt make u all feel uncomfortable. i noe how e operatin theatres look like in tan tock seng. noe how mani pple will be inside e theatre. noe how e machines work. noe how i will be attached 2 all e tubes n stuff. even can picture how i will look like. hahaz. tis is e plus pt n also e minus pt if u eva go 4 attachment at hospital. hahaz. oh well. shall stop scarin myself.
well. shall tok abt happier times. hahaz. erhz. mondae i spent e whole dae slackin lahz. hahaz. was online n rottin 4 quite sum time. went 2 teach tuition in e afternoon n receive my first pay check of $160. yeahz! feel so happie. hahaz. i finallie hav sum money. hahaz. went home after tt. n read story bks rite. oh dear. i seriously luv 2 procastinate lahz. n i m nt denyin it. hahaz.
went 2 sch quite early lahz. went 2 library n started 2 do my physics past yr common test. was quite horrified by my lack of knowledge. coz i got like how mani billion qns wrong. sighz. went 2 hav lunch w zy n marlom. n marlom as usual was e latest 2 reach. hahaz. after tt went back 2 sch 4 physics remedial w mr benny lee. n realised tt 2dae remedial is a continous frm mondae's wan. oh dear. sighz. oh well. guess there's notin much we can do either. i muz do well 4 physics. n prove 2 myself tt i m nt hopeless in physics. well. at least try 2. sighz.
went 2 buy ck's birthdae presenz after tt w zy. coz marlom left us wout tellin us where he was goin. bought him a samuel n kevin shirt. which is quite nice. after tt left bishan 2 go 2 marina bay 4 my og outin. was e first wan 2 reach. hahaz. though quite little pple turn up but i guess it was still a quite successful outin. went 2 fly kites n hav a great time. reallie. i nv noe tt kite flyin is so fun. ok i hav been livin in a cave 4 a vry long time. hahaz. e first kite which glen bought n i chose was a pikachu kite. hahaz. e wind is so strong tt it flew awae. hahaz. n left wu jiang n zong jin there speechless. hahaz. it was so funnie. after tt glen n selene each bought a winnie e pooh kite which is of a betta quality n nicer. hahaz. n they were competin 2 c whose kite is higher. it's so fun. i reallie luv e feelin of runnin w e kite. hahaz. muz try it again. reallie recommend it 2 everywan. i luv it. hahaz.
went 4 streamboat later w yu kit. selene. glen. zong jin. wu jiang. yi liang. wen loong. ju yuan. maro. her fren. glen. selene. hope i didnt miss aniwan out. yahz. hahaz. my side was e most productive wan. keep on cookin n eatin. cookin n eatin. ate 4 like 2 hrs plus. hahaz. but hav 2 go home after tt coz got band e next dae. yahz. but i did hav alot of fun. n thanx 2 my dear aesapedeurans. thanx.
went 4 band 2dae. was so tired tt i almost cldnt get up in time. suffered frm tummyache. tink it's due 2 yesterdae dinner. but oh well. i recovered pretti fast. dawnie wasnt here 2dae. coz she was e supervisor 4 a cip tinggy. left mi n samuel 2 stone 2gather. miss dawnie badly. coz i wanna 2 foot fight w her. hahaz. n we were quite screwed 2dae lahz. sighz. feel vry bad tt samuel is facin e prob. but there's nothin i can do 2 help coz i m worse than him in terms of playin. how 2 help? sighz. reallie feel vry guilty. vry guilty. n e worst ting was tt i was alrdy late 4 my medical appointment. thus hav no time 2 tok 2 him. sighz. life is reallie screwed manz.
aniwae. after makin e decision 2 go 4 e op i had 2 go 2 tis pre-admission counsellin dept where they briefed mi on e dos n duns b4 an op. as mine is like 2molo. which is like vry rushed. so yahz. abit off lahz. where got pple got scheduled 4 op so fast wan. guess tt person is mi lahz. aniwae. waited quite long lahz. coz each patient is diff wat. n on e screen they were like statin tt e waitin time might be 2-3 hrs long. i almost fainted. hahaz. luckily nt tt bad. e personnel who tok 2 mi is nice. her name is agatha. n we were tokin rubbish. hahaz. i mean at e beginnin lahz. then she started 2 brief mi abt e stuff. coz my op is in e mornin. need 2 register n admit myself by 8.15 am. e op is ard 12 noon. so i cannt eat anitin after 12 midnite 2dae. n i cannt eat or drink until 8 hrs after e op which is supposed 2 finish by 12.30pm. abit e fast arhz. hahaz. so i will like be how hungry. i m reallie a glutton. nt lettin mi eat is like torture 4 mi lorz. sighz. so yahz. can onli eat at like 8 plus 2molo nite le. eekz. will be hospitalised for 5 daes. might be longer might be shorter. muz c my condition. oh well. i can make full use of tis chance n mug wout ani distraction. hahaz. so gd rite. like real lahz. i most prob will be sleepin n sleepin like a pig. but my mum refused 2 let mi bring ani of my soft toys w mi 2 e hospital. she sae got alot of germs. then vry dirty. then later when they come back they need 2 be washed. which is vry troublesome. oh well. sighz. guess i will be vry lonely there. aniwae agatha was like vry interested in wat instru is inside my bassoon case lahz. coz she dun understand wat i was tokin abt when i sae bassoon. so i opened e case 4 her 2 c. n her immediate reaction was "i noe tis. i saw it in e orchestra b4" arhz. correct. bassoon is an orchestra instru. hahaz. after tt went 2 another waitin rm n wait 4 my medical checkup. which basically was juz askin alot of qn n takin my height n weight n blood pressure. which like usual. was 2wards e low side.
went all e wae back 2 causewae 2 hav lunch w yee keow n ming chuan. yahz. sighz. life is dotz. need 2 go n pack my notes n stuff 2 take w mi 2 hospital 2 mug. well tis will be my last entry until i m discharged frm e hospital. so pple. do take care of urself. n be careful when u r playin ball game w ymw. hahaz. n most importantly muz mi!!! hahaz.
