Monday, August 30, 2004
well. quite long since i last blog. aniwae tis will be a vry long entry. coz currently my mood is nt gd. n it seriously make mi retink e wae i hav been doin tings. yahz.
shld tok abt last fridae first. erhz. went 4 pe 2 do e aces daes ting. which basically is juz kickin ur legs. sighz. then went 2 e newater plant 4 learnin journey. hahaz. which is quite sianz lahz. n i brought wenzi w mi. ms tan's rabbit. hahaz. coz she encourages mi 2. luv ms tan alot. she is actuallie a vry funnie person. hahaz. went back 2 sch. actuallie wanted 2 c my shuai ge runnin. apparently luck is nt w mi lahz. sighz. didnt get 2 c at all. so abit e waste my hope n time.
was busy studyin 4 my maths test lahz. then did it on sat mornin. tink i did quite badly lahz. nvm. then was basically tryin 2 run 2 sch w my bassoon on sat mornin. then was tryin 2 practise bassoon. but not vry successful coz i ard 3 wks nv practise le. so easily tired lahz. n was nuain w yee ke-ow. after tt went 2 westmall w marlom on his dad's car. n i feel so giddy after e trip. hahaz. seriously i tink i m nt used 2 cars. e other time i feel giddy on amir mummy's dad's car. hmmz. went 2 meet president yuen then went 2 buy debra's presenz. n then went 2 eat lahz. n i 4got my dosage of medication. sighz.
went 2 marlom's house 2 help out. in e end was nuain there. after tt helped 2 move e stuff down 2 e car 2 be ferried over 2 e condo. n after tt was watchin chong keat n marlom playin e eye toy. so funnie. make mi laugh until i wan 2 die. hahaz.
everywan finally reaches lahz. n we started 2 eat. marlom n i went 2 get more drinks n e majong set n stuff. n met debra n lianne. e party is ok lahz. after tt was nuain ard. basically i feel like a real maid. hahaz. no lahz. it's quite fun actuallie. send ka ming. yii ean. lilian n mel off. then was kana pushed into e pool while pushin pple into e pool. sighz. so was swimmin in my full sch u. so... hahaz. after tt send debra. lianne. jian hong. kevin back. yahz. i tink i will miss her.
reallie enjoy my time in e pool. e sky is abit e too cloudy though. but it's still a beautiful nite. if onli there is more stars. hahaz. wat a perfect nite 2 dream. of. none other. than my shuai ge. hahaz. no lahz. juz nuain ard.
after tt shower. chong keat n yi jing almost cannot stay over. luckily they did. n we play majong. hahaz. n marlom almost died in e process. he is like dyin 2 sleep lahz. so we stopped e game n he went 2 sleep. i went 2 finish up his 2 comic bks. while chong keat n yi jing went 2 play e eye toy again. fall asleep ard 5 plus am. yahz. n wake up at 7 plus. then continue 2 sleep until 10 plus.
went 2 eat after tt. n went home lahz. 2 sleep. hahaz. after tt went 2 eat dinner w family. wow i m a pig. hahaz. after tt was watchin tv. onli started studyin ard 10 2wards 11. yahz. n was tokin on e phone w yee ke-ow. so didnt do much. hahaz.
c e doc again 2dae. sighz. it's cumin back. so tis time she gave mi even stronger antibiotics. i reallie hope i will get well soon. n she vry nice. coz she subsidised my medication fee. feel so grateful 2 her.
basically i tink i shldnt mention e incident animore. but juz wan 2 sae tis. my tolerencel level is onli juz tis. i muz sae tt i reallie try 2 control my temper. but tis yr is reallie vry xceptional. i m reallie pissed twice alrdy. n both becoz of pple. wat shld i sae? i definitely tink tt ny pple at least my sec 3 n 4 classmates r good. at least most of them. yeshz. n they nv doubt mi. n lose their faith in my integrity n my character. n thanx 2 yee ke-ow. yii ean. ka ming. yang lin. mei zhong. birdie. ymw. 4 listenin 2 mi. n being so understandin. sumtimes. it's onli thru tis type of incident. will u reallie appreciate others. sum pple r juz not worth e effort. n if u happen 2 be readin tis. let mi tell u tis. u r reallie vry immature. n u reallie need 2 learn 2 listen. i mean listen. reallie listen. all u care is urself. 2 portray urself as e good guy. e wan who is understandin. e wan who is tryin 2 take e blame 4 ME. e wan who is e rite wan. hello. take a look at urself. no wan is tt gd. since u alrdy decided 2 do tings in ur wae. then 4get it. in e past i used 2 tink tt u r abit e shallow. now i tink tt u reallie hav no depth. u r a hypocrite. yesh. n borrow wat birdie hav been saein. u r a louse. i muz sae tt i learn quite alot of tings frm tis incident. tt sumtimes pple r nt wat they seem 2 be. tt there r pple r there who r reallie vry selfish. i m nt saein tt i m nt selfish. i m actuallie. esp when it cums 2 money matters. coz i m nt rich. my family is nt rich. n wheneva i need money i get it frm my savings. u noe wat. university fees is one of my major probs after i finished my a levels. so unlike sum other pple. i dun c university education as sumtin 2 be taken 4 granted. but i do reallie try 2 help others if i can. sumtimes i wonder whether i m juz being 2 busybody. wat did i get in return. notin. no i shld sae. it shld be a bagful of xcues n insults n e feelin of being wronged. n juz wan 2 sae tis 2 e class. i m sorrie 4 causin so much inconvenience. n seriously hope tt u all will pass e chem test w flyin colours. hope u all wun be angree 4 long.
i wonder i wonder. y m i doin all tis. seriously sch hav no joy 4 mi. reallie no joy. sumtimes i will comtemplate e idea of droppin out. but i can foresee my family reaction. so. i hav no choice. life is reallie insultin. i truly appreciate my sec sch frens now. yii ean. boon2. xiang2. xiuli. nan xiao. darlin son. darlin daughter. my zhu mei. lulu. ms poon. arlene. yun shan. vanessi. shi qi. seek peng. tis is e grp of pple who will nv leave mi alone. nv. how i miss u all. how much. do u all noe.
frm now on. i learn 2 protect myself. u r juz nt worth it. 4get it. i m 2 tired 2 care. u can do as u deem fit. wateva. in my opinion. u r no longer there. no longer there. we r frens no more.
